Attractive men with big cocks less likely to prefer relationships?

D_Crystallized Ginger

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(Do I really feel the need to defend myself on a forum? Sigh)

So, my intent in the original post was basically to ask if I'm chasing a chimera: a man who is decently attractive, fit, super smart, and has a biggish cock (and atheist and Dom, but that's beside the point in this thread). As a decently attractive, fit, super smart girl, I feel justified in demanding the same in a partner. I of course need more than just a pretty face and a hot bod for a relationship, but I'm not going to be politically correct and say that looks and cock size don't matter to me. They do.

Which brings me to my dilemma. Most of the men I've met who are decently attractive and fit strike me as womanizing douchebags. I readily admit that my experience has not been a random sampling, but I thought I would ask people if they thought it was a *representative* sampling of attractive, fit men with biggish cocks.

I guess I just wanted to get a sense of how difficult my search is. How can I work this into my research on fly evolutionary development so that I can get this study funded?

ily

P.S. For anyone who is curious, fly genitals are developmentally equivalent to fly legs. So if you knock out the gene that tells the developing appendage to turn into a penis, it develops as a leg. The fly's third leg! Ha! (Estrada, 2001.The Hox gene Abdominal-B antagonizes appendage development in the genital disc of Drosophila)
P.P.S In case you're wondering, this probably isn't the case in humans :)

I can see modesty is your best feature lady... if you self claim super smart then why do a fit body and a big cock matter so much to you? I simply believe that everyone deserves what he/she can, you will never find a relationship man with all your requirements if you keep on thinking this way
 

Bbucko

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There is no correlation between libido and cock size, nor any (that I've found) between cock size and an aversion to intimacy.

Speaking strictly from a gay perspective here, I find that bottoms are much randier than tops, and much more likely to seek multiple partners; bottoms also tend to be on the smaller side (though hardly with any exclusivity that I've ever found, really). But the pursuit of multiple partners and a willingness to seek permanent relationships are hardly mutually exclusive, either.

I find the "slut shaming" in this thread and stereotyping of certain physiology/psychological similarities to be especially misplaced and incorrect. One may want to enjoy the bounty of any specific harvest and still crave the level of intimacy that comes from partnership. Why must monogamy be the gauge by which we judge anyone's ability to commitment?

Open your minds, people. Life is short, intimacy is not directly related to sex, and possibilities are endless; life is for exploration and pleasure, not limitations and curfews. Loving someone and wishing to share one's life with another needn't necessarily involve don'ts and shan'ts. Love and true commitment isn't about curtailing someone; shouldn't it rather be about setting him/her free?
 
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justacynic

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(Do I really feel the need to defend myself on a forum? Sigh)

<snip>

P.S. For anyone who is curious, fly genitals are developmentally equivalent to fly legs. So if you knock out the gene that tells the developing appendage to turn into a penis, it develops as a leg. The fly's third leg! Ha! (Estrada, 2001.The Hox gene Abdominal-B antagonizes appendage development in the genital disc of Drosophila)
P.P.S In case you're wondering, this probably isn't the case in humans :)

Frankly, given how my feet look, I don't think that's an experiment I'd want to attempt anyway. ;-)
 

Argonaut 1975

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Love and true commitment isn't about curtailing someone; shouldn't it rather be about setting him/her free?

GK Chesterton said:
The revolt against vows has been carried in our day even to the extent of a revolt against the typical vow of marriage. It is most amusing to listen to the opponents of marriage on this subject. They appear to imagine that the ideal of constancy was a yoke mysteriously imposed on mankind by the devil, instead of being, as it is, a yoke consistently imposed by all lovers on themselves. They have invented a phrase, a phrase that is a black and white contradiction in two words -- 'free-love' -- as if a lover ever had been, or ever could be, free. It is the nature of love to bind itself, and the institution of marriage merely paid the average man the compliment of taking him at his word. Modern sages offer to the lover, with an ill-favoured grin, the largest liberties and the fullest irresponsibility; but they do not respect him as the old Church respected him; they do not write his oath upon the heavens, as the record of his highest moment. They give him every liberty except the liberty to sell his liberty, which is the only one that he wants.

Old wisdom but a truism nonetheless.
 

_Jonesy

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First point I want to make is that if you are 'super smart' OP you should know that if anything will put off an "attractive guy who is intelligent with a bigish dick" it is a woman saying she deserves this and that - it is not a nice trait to portray. With that said, I don't believe you would act like that if you met somebody in person.

The best reply on here is that you should not discriminate based on stereotypes as you are less likely to feel comfortable in the relationship, maybe paranoid/jealous which means already it would be a doomed endeavour from the start. Treat everybody individually, learn to notice the little signs that show a guy is trustworthy, but mostly you should get a feeling you know it would work out when you're seeing them.



As for the great debate this thread has started. Guys that are attractive with big dicks go through a test of life, where they can choose how they want to be. If they abuse their gifts, they become womanisers by nature (most of the time) until they want to settle down, but some also would rather have love in a monogamous relationship.

I'm aware everybody has this choice, but the reason more attractive guys are like this is because it is easier for them. Less attractive guys might fall in love easier so to speak, but attractive men will take the women for granted and use them.

Still, not every guy is like this like I said, good luck in your search. You are a good looking woman so just look for guys in the right places and you'll be fine. Also, try not to judge men on their appearance too much, you might be rejecting your dream man personality wise which, in the long run, is always the thing that will keep you happy. A good body is fun for the first few weeks, a good personality never grows old.
 
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D_Crystallized Ginger

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First point I want to make is that if you are 'super smart' OP you should know that if anything will put off an "attractive guy who is intelligent with a bigish dick" it is a woman saying she deserves this and that - it is not a nice trait to portray. With that said, I don't believe you would act like that if you met somebody in person.

The best reply on here is that you should not discriminate based on stereotypes as you are less likely to feel comfortable in the relationship, maybe paranoid/jealous which means already it would be a doomed endeavour from the start. Treat everybody individually, learn to notice the little signs that show a guy is trustworthy, but mostly you should get a feeling you know it would work out when you're seeing them.



As for the great debate this thread has started. Guys that are attractive with big dicks go through a test of life, where they can choose how they want to be. If they abuse their gifts, they become womanisers by nature (most of the time) until they want to settle down, but some also would rather have love in a monogamous relationship.

I'm aware everybody has this choice, but the reason more attractive guys are like this is because it is easier for them. Less attractive guys might fall in love easier so to speak, but attractive men will take the women for granted and use them.

Still, not every guy is like this like I said, good luck in your search. You are a good looking woman so just look for guys in the right places and you'll be fine. Also, try not to judge men on their appearance too much, you might be rejecting your dream man personality wise which, in the long run, is always the thing that will keep you happy. A good body is fun for the first few weeks, a good personality never grows old.


oh boy you are wise! I would have liked to express this as well as you did if I only was good in english as you..
 

D_Chesty_Pecjiggle

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I agree strongly with Petite's most recent point.

Sure, some 'players' might be the handsome, fit, hung guys who womanize solely because they can.

But I think there is the self-esteem component. I'm athletic and hung and hopefully most say otherwise good-looking. And I'm perhaps 'cursed' by being a nice guy. I've had female friends tell me that. And I've long thought I could've gotten far more pussy in my younger days if I weren't a nice guy.

Anyway, I've never had an self-esteem issues.

My point is that guys comfortable with themselves and this will include plenty of fit, handsome, hung guys, don't need to prove anything to themselves or their friends. So they may be less likely to 'appear' the big macho man. And guys do that to their friends by being the womanizing kind.

In fact as a big guy, having a steady partner is nice. Frankly new partners don't always know how to handle a big one. Don't get me wrong, I actually LOVE those first reactions I used to get. And I frankly miss them. But sex with someone that knows you is better than one-night stand sex almost every time.

The other thing is that the settling down type of handsome,hung,fit guy you're looking for may already have settled down!

But keep looking. You'll find your guy.
 

paneros

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... He is very fun to hang out with and he's funny and he's easy to talk to. He doesn't burn bridges with people he's been involved with so there's very little bad blood between himself and other people. I suspect that the most important factor is how social he is and how much he parties, which brings him into proximity with more women who are attracted to him. He has more friends than almost anyone I know and he attends a lot of parties where there is a lot of alcohol, which probably makes it a lot easier.

.....

Anyway, I doubt anyone will read this entire post because of it's length and the meandering nature, but it's been fun remembering things I had forgotten.

I read your entire post, not because of it's length - that would hardly be an indicator of its inherent quality :wink:, but because it was intelligent and impressive in its coherency and expressive ability - an eloquently loquacious mirroring, if you will, of the more useful selection criteria when one is selecting a long term partner.

And I think the stuff about "he's funny, easy to talk to, not burning bridges etc.." above hits the nail on the head as to why he's so great with women. Everybody loves to be around someone like this as you feel valued by them, they're respectful in their behaviour. So that's gonna work well towards relationships.
And how many women have you heard say "I want him to make me laugh?" (Aside - personally, I find this a bit of a funny one, it starts minor alarm bells ringing! Girl, you gotta be in your joy already, rather than relying on some man to bring it to you! But of course, the ability to make another laugh is a great quality - I just prefer when both have it). A sense of humour and lightheartedness is, I think, essential in order to be in a long term relationship, along with a balanced perspective on life and relationships, being open to change. Ok I'm rambling now!

And to ilyanassa :
You want to find out how difficult your search will be for a man who is decently attractive, fit, super smart, and has a biggish cock , along with other decent personality qualities of course, but "Most of the men I've met who are decently attractive and fit strike me as womanizing douchebags."

Maybe your assessment of them is incorrect? They may strike you as douchebags, but it would take some time to get to know them more to see if they actually ARE douchebags.. and you could do this without being sexual with them at first, if you wanted. Explore whether your impression is correct and holds up to greater scrutiny against reality.
And I've found that what unfolds in an intimate relationship with someone can be surprisingly different from how they appear at first in a socialising environment of any kind, so it can be difficult to draw conclusions about one's ability to be intimate and in relationship from socialised interactions. I'm continually surprised by that myself.

Remember, you are really looking for one man at any one time, so knowing the supposed statistical likelihood of the success of your quest doesn't really help much. Although it may appear to be a statistical chance - like, 30% of them will turn out to be decent in a general population spread, say (makey-uppy numbers here of course, to illustrate only), that does not mean 3 in every 10 guys you meet who fit your criteria will be genuine. Who you meet is also influenced by many things - where you live, your social circles, interests, free time available, etc, and also where you are at personally in your life.. possibly the type of guys you want to meet are not currently coming into your orbit because of a belief that you may be holding onto subconsciously.. only you will know.

And I reiterate my belief that correlating a guy's cock size with his personality is about as useful as correlating the number of freckles one has with average yearly income one earns: you could do the research for both for the entire USA, and of course you'd get a number, but it would represent nothing of any significance!

How can I work this into my research on fly evolutionary development so that I can get this study funded?

Good luck with that one! (Fascinating piece of information, by the way!)
 

B_subgirrl

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Still, not every guy is like this like I said, good luck in your search. You are a good looking woman so just look for guys in the right places and you'll be fine. Also, try not to judge men on their appearance too much, you might be rejecting your dream man personality wise which, in the long run, is always the thing that will keep you happy. A good body is fun for the first few weeks, a good personality never grows old.

Good post! I especially like this bit because, as many here know, it's all about the personality for me.
 

_Jonesy

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No, really. No matter how hot you are, if I don't like your personality, I'm not talking to you (or fucking you). Appearance can be a nice bonus, but it's nothing more than that. It doesn't have any impact at all on my sexual decision making.
I was merely teasing dearest subgirrl. Of course, any decent girl would be the same. It is nice to know some people are still sane in that sense.
 

B_cosmognosis

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There is some truth to this notion. I had a robust and satisfying sex life as a single man, and sometimes (more and more often it seems) I miss the variety.
It is easier to get laid (just post a cock pic on the average adult dating site) and even going to clubs would get me frequent one nighters (because I can dance, too). New life=wife, being at home and being a total SQUARE. Why'd I do it? Fear I think...Fear of being the 'old guy in the club' and also things had gotten very wild with my last swingers experience.

The big dicked handsome guy will sometimes miss the thrill of the chase, IMHO.

But, I have been faithful so far...
 

D_Crystallized Ginger

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There is some truth to this notion. I had a robust and satisfying sex life as a single man, and sometimes (more and more often it seems) I miss the variety.
It is easier to get laid (just post a cock pic on the average adult dating site) and even going to clubs would get me frequent one nighters (because I can dance, too). New life=wife, being at home and being a total SQUARE. Why'd I do it? Fear I think...Fear of being the 'old guy in the club' and also things had gotten very wild with my last swingers experience.

The big dicked handsome guy will sometimes miss the thrill of the chase, IMHO.

But, I have been faithful so far...


well said.. maybe some big dicke handsome men are simply afraid of staying alone when others get married... do you really had that percentage of success in clubs? you are handsome then! congrats lucky guy... I had always an hard time to get laid but lately I 've become experienced and girls desire me more but... I 'm not single no more! it has pros and cons and btw it all depends on the girl you find... I love my gf too much and doesn't complain at all for missing orgy sex, one night stand and beautiful girls in clubs but sometimes I feel nostalgic I must confess...

P.S. what's your length and girth? :D
 

EllieP

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The OP got me to thinking about my own husband. He's incredibly handsome and overly-endowed, but he is hopelessly monogamous... right now. That's not his track record outside of a committed relationship.

He sort of went crazy in college and after. He did the standard rock musician after gig groupie thing as often as possible. But when he first married he was as true to her as he promised. However, she was anything but, so when that marriage dissolved he went back to his notorious ways. Somewhere along the way he realized how bad his life was and became celibate for over a year until he met me. I kinda cured him of that.

We've both been hurt by cheating spouses before, so we're very confident of each other's pledge of fidelity.

As to the original theory, I don't know if his size had anything at all to do with his promiscuity, but I guess if you dig way down you might find a correlation.
 

qwerty1234567

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(Do I really feel the need to defend myself on a forum? Sigh)

So, my intent in the original post was basically to ask if I'm chasing a chimera: a man who is decently attractive, fit, super smart, and has a biggish cock (and atheist and Dom, but that's beside the point in this thread). As a decently attractive, fit, super smart girl, I feel justified in demanding the same in a partner. I of course need more than just a pretty face and a hot bod for a relationship, but I'm not going to be politically correct and say that looks and cock size don't matter to me. They do.

Which brings me to my dilemma. Most of the men I've met who are decently attractive and fit strike me as womanizing douchebags. I readily admit that my experience has not been a random sampling, but I thought I would ask people if they thought it was a *representative* sampling of attractive, fit men with biggish cocks.

I guess I just wanted to get a sense of how difficult my search is. How can I work this into my research on fly evolutionary development so that I can get this study funded?

ily

P.S. For anyone who is curious, fly genitals are developmentally equivalent to fly legs. So if you knock out the gene that tells the developing appendage to turn into a penis, it develops as a leg. The fly's third leg! Ha! (Estrada, 2001.The Hox gene Abdominal-B antagonizes appendage development in the genital disc of Drosophila)
P.P.S In case you're wondering, this probably isn't the case in humans :)


That's me.....

A girl who is familiar with the knock-out gene procedure? Marry me.:wink:
 

D_Johnny Schlepp

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Like someone said above, it definitely has to do with the confidence in a man. I would like to add again, that this is not limited to "handsome men with big penises". There are less attractive guys who are womanizer and, have sex with perfect 10s on a regular basis. IT HAPPENS. My advice to the OP, is that you stop trying to CHASE the guy in question, and just give him an obvious sign and let him take the lead.

I'm just curious, how do you know he has a big dick? That's definitely something that would be hard to tell.
 

BayAreaGuy

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I get the feeling I'm a minority here, but I'm looking for a monogamous, long-term relationship. I just happen to feel like I deserve someone who is as smart, attractive, and fit as I am, with a biggish cock. But I'm suspicious that men who are both attractive and have a lovely big cock are far more likely to be womanizers, simply because they can (and if you only have casual sex, you can't know how awesome relationships can be, right?)

What do people think about the assumption that
attractive man + big cock = not into relationships? What has your experience been?

Thanks!
ily

The answer to this question would be found in research on psychology and sociology, not in the personal opinions and experiences of people in a forum about big cock. I don't know if you're just offering up a conversation starter, or if you're actually looking for the answer to this interesting question, though, so I'll leave that up to you.