Aunt's Bisexual Husband

HungBtmVegas

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So in another thread, I told the story of when I had a summer fling with my aunt's (then) bi-curious husband before I went to college. She never knew and I've (mostly) successfully avoided seeing them for over a decade now, talking to my aunt as much as anyone talks to their elderly aunt, but never having spoken to her husband again. He found me on social media this morning and sent me the following message:

"Hey Brian!

I know this message may come as a shock to you, but in case you need a memory refresher, this is _______, _______'s ex-husband. Yes, I'm saying ex-husband. Your aunt and I separated about 2 years ago and the divorce became final in December of 2019.

Listen, I know how you must feel getting a message from me after several years and PLEASE don't feel the need to respond if there's ill feelings towards me, but I would be remiss if I didn't reach out to you.

I apologize for bring this up if this is offensive or triggering to you, but I wanted to thank you for making me realize who and what I really am. I spent my life hiding my true sexuality in the closet and the connection we had when you stayed with us has resounded with me even to this day.

I couldn't live a repressed life anymore. It made me unhappy and that toxicity poured over onto your aunt, which led to our parting. In the time we've been separated and ultimately divorced, I have been exploring and trying to really understand and accept my sexual and emotional freedom. It has its ups and downs, but ultimately I am happier than I have been and your aunt and I have stayed in contact and she is happier as well.

I now live in Los Angeles and I heard you live in Las Vegas now, which I frequent with friends for an escape from work. If this is totally out of line, I UNDERSTAND, but I would love to meet up for a drink or dinner (my treat) to catch up.

I really hope to hear back from you and I hope the years have been as good to you as they have to me."

So, idk what to do here. I haven't responded yet. I don't regret the ACT itself, but I regret that he was my aunt's husband. I think about him too and tbqh, if we meet up, we're probably going to have sex. Is this STILL as fucked up as it was when they were married and I was a dumb (legal) teenager?
 

51arledge

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So in another thread, I told the story of when I had a summer fling with my aunt's (then) bi-curious husband before I went to college. She never knew and I've (mostly) successfully avoided seeing them for over a decade now, talking to my aunt as much as anyone talks to their elderly aunt, but never having spoken to her husband again. He found me on social media this morning and sent me the following message:

"Hey Brian!

I know this message may come as a shock to you, but in case you need a memory refresher, this is _______, _______'s ex-husband. Yes, I'm saying ex-husband. Your aunt and I separated about 2 years ago and the divorce became final in December of 2019.

Listen, I know how you must feel getting a message from me after several years and PLEASE don't feel the need to respond if there's ill feelings towards me, but I would be remiss if I didn't reach out to you.

I apologize for bring this up if this is offensive or triggering to you, but I wanted to thank you for making me realize who and what I really am. I spent my life hiding my true sexuality in the closet and the connection we had when you stayed with us has resounded with me even to this day.

I couldn't live a repressed life anymore. It made me unhappy and that toxicity poured over onto your aunt, which led to our parting. In the time we've been separated and ultimately divorced, I have been exploring and trying to really understand and accept my sexual and emotional freedom. It has its ups and downs, but ultimately I am happier than I have been and your aunt and I have stayed in contact and she is happier as well.

I now live in Los Angeles and I heard you live in Las Vegas now, which I frequent with friends for an escape from work. If this is totally out of line, I UNDERSTAND, but I would love to meet up for a drink or dinner (my treat) to catch up.

I really hope to hear back from you and I hope the years have been as good to you as they have to me."

So, idk what to do here. I haven't responded yet. I don't regret the ACT itself, but I regret that he was my aunt's husband. I think about him too and tbqh, if we meet up, we're probably going to have sex. Is this STILL as fucked up as it was when they were married and I was a dumb (legal) teenager?
Very interesting...
I think that the situation is much LESS fucked up now than it was back then You have helped him realize his true sexuality (no small gift there!) and both and your aunt are better off for it.

That you aren't that close with your aunt now makes this even more acceptable. Go for the gratitude fuck and have fun!
 

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It sounds like the fling was consensual and that you wouldn't mind it happening again - assuming that's what he wants. If this is true, then two adults are free to do what they want. The potential down-side if you and he hook up is if he tells your aunt about seeing you again. That could be an innocent comment, or sordid details that get back to other family that you have a closer relationship with. I wouldn't risk that with my family, for what it's worth. There's a lot of fish in the sea that are less risky.
 

dreamer20

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"Hey Brian!..If this is totally out of line, I UNDERSTAND, but I would love to meet up for a drink or dinner (my treat) to catch up...

I really hope to hear back from you and I hope the years have been as good to you as they have to me."

So, idk what to do here...I think about him too and tbqh, if we meet up, we're probably going to have sex...

* No longer a husband & now an Ex-husband*
If I were you I would meet with him and see what he has to say. Enjoy your dinner and let us know how things turn out.
 

noirman

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I see nothing wrong with your meeting him -- IF that's what you want. It really has little to do with your aunt and everything to do with his realizing his true sexuality. If it hadn't been you back then, it would have been someone else.
 

cedarizzo

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They are divorced so go for it. I don't see any harm in meeting him. Have a dinner with him, so how it goes. If you still have doubts after meeting him, you can wait to the end of the dinner and congratulate him on his new found freedom and then nope your way out. But if you are still interested, go for it. It's not like you are going to go advertising it afterwards to your aunt/family. Life is short, enjoy it!
 

hypolimnas

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I would suggest meeting him, make a fresh start, make your own assessment of where you are both at. Don't dismiss someone who likes and cares about you too easily. It took some bravery for him to reach out to you. Oh and have some great sex!
 

brownthickone

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So in another thread, I told the story of when I had a summer fling with my aunt's (then) bi-curious husband before I went to college. She never knew and I've (mostly) successfully avoided seeing them for over a decade now, talking to my aunt as much as anyone talks to their elderly aunt, but never having spoken to her husband again. He found me on social media this morning and sent me the following message:

"Hey Brian!

I know this message may come as a shock to you, but in case you need a memory refresher, this is _______, _______'s ex-husband. Yes, I'm saying ex-husband. Your aunt and I separated about 2 years ago and the divorce became final in December of 2019.

Listen, I know how you must feel getting a message from me after several years and PLEASE don't feel the need to respond if there's ill feelings towards me, but I would be remiss if I didn't reach out to you.

I apologize for bring this up if this is offensive or triggering to you, but I wanted to thank you for making me realize who and what I really am. I spent my life hiding my true sexuality in the closet and the connection we had when you stayed with us has resounded with me even to this day.

I couldn't live a repressed life anymore. It made me unhappy and that toxicity poured over onto your aunt, which led to our parting. In the time we've been separated and ultimately divorced, I have been exploring and trying to really understand and accept my sexual and emotional freedom. It has its ups and downs, but ultimately I am happier than I have been and your aunt and I have stayed in contact and she is happier as well.

I now live in Los Angeles and I heard you live in Las Vegas now, which I frequent with friends for an escape from work. If this is totally out of line, I UNDERSTAND, but I would love to meet up for a drink or dinner (my treat) to catch up.

I really hope to hear back from you and I hope the years have been as good to you as they have to me."

So, idk what to do here. I haven't responded yet. I don't regret the ACT itself, but I regret that he was my aunt's husband. I think about him too and tbqh, if we meet up, we're probably going to have sex. Is this STILL as fucked up as it was when they were married and I was a dumb (legal) teenager?
NOT at all!
 
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curtdude

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Dude you can meet up but stand strong if you do not feel you should have sex with him or he brings his friends with him and you are the main attraction for them don't do it move on

you have not seen this guy in a while he could have changed.

looking at your pick you have a lot to offer someone find them and move on from him peace
 
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NakedBuddy

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First of all, you’re not responsible for the breakup of their marriage, so don’t feel awkward about it. Second, his note doesn’t sound creepy or predatory - he seems genuinely thankful to you and seems to understand that you may feel a bit awkward about the situation (again, don’t). So, if you like the guy (I don’t mean romantically or sexually, just generally like him), then respond. I you don’t, then let him be.
 
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HorseHung40's

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There is an expression: Everything has its season.

Your fling occurred many years ago. While it was mutually consensual, it was also wrong due to the family dynamic at time. You avoided this couple, likely out of shame. That is understandable.

Now your past wants to join your present. You are obviously weighing the pro's and con's of such a decision. As yourself these questions:
1.) Is that aunt still alive? Do you respect her? If so, i would NOT meet this man.
2.) How would your family feel, if it were to learn of the adultery?
3.) Would you feel shame, if the whole story were to come to light now?

I have done many things in my past, which I want to remain "dead and buried" at this point in my life.

If you dig up the past, you may find that, in addition to old bones, you will find rotting flesh too. Its smell my upset all concerned.