average guys, large guys, and insecurity

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Vainglorious, Dec 24, 2009.

  1. Vainglorious

    Vainglorious New Member

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    I'm not often on the site because of work and 'romantic dalliances', and I know that might irk some people who are invested in the community here. But I'm curious to hear well-endowed guys' feelings about women who choose romantic relationships with average-endowed guys, even though it might be more satisfying with someone bigger. Can it be a source of insecurity to have a large cock? I'm not talking about one night stands or no strings attached fucking, I'm talking about women who choose a guy they like for a committed relationship over a guy who is better endowed for unattached fun. I'll just warn you now before you leave me a load of hateful vomit- I haven't been with that many men for my age, and only one I'd call above average, so I can be a little naive about these things and might accidentally offend you. Anyway, just curious about how it affects your self-image to be better endowed.
     
  2. D_Brecock Evileye

    D_Brecock Evileye New Member

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    I have an odd history of being used as a boyfriend of convenience by girls who want sex and someone to display in public, bt otherwise like being single. I can not say that I have ever been in a relationship with someone who loves me, but I have had every single girl I slept with try to get back with me for more, but not always for a relationship. Most of the time I said no, but in weak times I have done it knowing I was not realy getting what I wanted longterm. It is a source of pain but I wouldnt say it is an insecurity in any way. I dont want a woman who wants me because I have a large penis, but I hope she likes it anyway. I want a woman who wants me for me. At times I am tempted to use women in the way some use me. I have not done it, yet.
     
  3. Mikey35

    Mikey35 New Member

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    Reading that response, it reminds me of the classic "cute blonde with big chest" situation, lots of men want her for her looks, not her personality. And theres potentially that risk too with "hung" men. Although its not as immediately apparent that they're hung, as when a girl is large chested and blonde, it may still be an issue, as serpent13 has pointed out.

    Also, some guys might risk the same pitfall that hot girls sometimes fall into; "im hot, guys like me, so why develop a personality to interest them". Lots of girls tell me that they dont go for good looking guys, because they can tend to be boring, not funny, and self involved. Might also go for well endowed guys, "im huge, they'll keep coming back for more regardless of my personality - i dont need to be funny or interesting"....etc. etc.

    But of course that sort of approach would require massive inbuilt character flaws on the guys part, and would be "there all the time" waiting to come out, and only comes out when he realises he's hung, or attractive.
     
  4. blooeyz

    blooeyz New Member

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    I think we have to look at people holistically, rather than by component.
    If a relationship initially was all about the cock, it will struggle once the fire has died down, and most experienced people know that. Cock or breast size whle fun, isn't that important if you really love someone.
     
  5. PatriotSam

    PatriotSam New Member

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    In my opinion cock size is completley irelevent. Now i can say that because the size of my penis is perfectly acceptable, capable of giving and recieving pleasure ... as well as eventually impregnating my wife and perpetuating my species. That's all there is to the cock size issue.

    Who you love and why you love them is not determined off cock size and to think so is incorect ... regardless of what popular culture may elude to.

    Even if there are people out there only concerned with cock size in a relationshio and even if they dont have underlying psychological problems, i still dont care because there are 6,692,030,277 people in this world and I dont have to associate with them.

    The girl i'm with loves me very much and we have talked about previous guys she's been with. She has told me that she's had sex with a guy who was much larger than me ... but i could care less because she's with me now and we're loyal to eachoter.

    If you're only concerned with cock size, you're missing out on 99.9% of your sexual life.
     
  6. Torque8

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    The size of my cock (8.3 by 6.3, erect) is also completely irrelevant to my self-confidence. My body frame, my education and having it drummed into my head to always walk with my shoulders down and back staves off the few minor insecurities that really don't warrant a second thought.
     
  7. wallyj84

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    This is a silly topic isn't it? Why should the large cocked guy feel insecure because a woman chose a man with a smaller penis? There are thousands of reasons why that woman could be more attracted to the smaller man that have nothing to do with sex. It's possible that she might like him in spite of the sex.

    I think the more likely scenario is that the small/average guy will become insecure if he knows that his girl has had a previous partner with a large cock.
     
  8. D_Bemeslay Bugthorpe Boobtube III

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    I can't speak as someone who is large but can as someone who has been with many women. I have found by all research I am average but most women are pleasantly impressed. From my experience most women find an average penis just as desirable as a large penis for sex, its the idea of a large penis and the prestige that comes with that and the aestetic look of a large penis that is the intrigue. It ranks rather low on their "list of things to do before I die."

    However I would take your question from the angle of what it is like to be good in bed and lose a sexual partner for a long term relationship. Men who are more athletic, more confident, more good looking enter sexual relationships with the understanding the relationship is about sex. Clearly, if they see more from a women than sex, they go for the long term relationship. But in many cases, for whatever reasons, they don't. Personally, when a woman "moves on" I understand it. I find often with sexual partners the relationship desire comes from the women's side. If a man doesn't answer yes to that, they've had their oppurtunity. I can't get upset or insecure if a girl moves on.
     
  9. Vainglorious

    Vainglorious New Member

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    I never said I was only concerned with cock size, it's really the last thing on my mind. In fact, a guy has to be many, many other things to get me into bed, and if he's gotten that far, he can do no wrong. I don't mean to ask silly questions, but at least some of the answers have been informative- all I was curious about was whether there were any insecurities that came from knowing one was above average. Like I said, I don't mean to be offensive; I can be a little naive at times and I hope I didn't piss anyone off.
     
  10. cbrmale

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    This is a silly post, because most mature men realise that women fall in love for a whole lot of reasons. However, we larger men don't lose our confidence over that, because we know that the woman who falls in love with us is more likely to have the best sex of her life. That's a bonus for her, and a confidence-booster for us.
     
  11. _avg_

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    I don't believe you've offended anyone.

    And to answer the question, I would feel insecure if I was rejected for another guy, period. If i knew he was smaller than me I might feel a little better, but then again I would get insecure about my ability to perform. And I'm already concerned about that.

    And I do have insecurities about my size, esp. if my partner has been told I'm big -- I feel I need to 'live up to the hype,' but really I'm not what I might consider 'large.' So take my answers for what they is. :/
     
  12. the_reverend

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    i say good for her. if she's found someone who fulfills her in that kind of multifaceted manner, then that's way better than if she just wants to climb up on my junk every once in a while. personally, i'd prefer to be in the relationship with the large cock as just a bonus for her...but since NEITHER one seems to be happening right now, i shall sit and wait my turn. lol!
     
  13. TheScotsman

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    Whilst my size is something that I think has been an element of a woman's attraction towards me, I can't say I've ever built a relationship on it. If a woman preferred to go out with another guy, who happened to have a smaller cock, I'd probably be a little insecure about the scenario but not for that reason. I'd probably just be wondering what it was about the guy I didn't have myself.
     
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