Average guys

[davidjh7]

I thought about this for awhile before posting this thread, but I have seen enough evidence that I am not the only one on here who feels this way, so I thought I;d open the idea for discussion. One of my major issues is, and has always been, that I am JUST average--average this, average that. I have no outstanding physical characteristics, so have to work harder to bring my personality to the front, to be noticed at all. When I was younger, I was very shy, and if I am in a laid back mood, I essentially become invisable. I can literally walk into a room, with only a couple of people in it, and walk up to someone and say hello, and it will scare them, even though they should have seen me approach. The issues of penis size have been discussed in most other ways, the problems of being too big, and the problems of being too small. Most have said that "Average guys don;t have any problems" in regards to size. In fact, I have found that the invisable factor applies in this case, too. You never get any comments, one way or the other. You never get any real notice, one way or the other. It becmes just a functional tool for the act, and not a part of the focus, good or bad. I'm just wondering if I am the only "average" guy who has experienced this--the fact that you are so average, you become essentially invisable to those around you? Let the games begin.....

 

[Mibb]

I dunno. I was never quite the kind of person to equate being average with invisibility. I think its quite the opposite really. I was going through the same train of thought and ended up with a similar conclusion about myself. Checking out statistical averages, I fall somewhere right in the middle of every list from height (5'9-ish 5'10-ish), to weight (I took this test a few months ago and said my weight was perfect for my height), to blood type (O - the universal donor) to penis size (I'm currently at 6 with a leftward bend). Then there's the fact that I'm Filipino, particularly one from a line of aboriginal, malay, chinese, and spanish heritages (the Philippines is probably history's haven of mix-race marriages - the four races here also belong to four different anthropological racial lines) with black hair, brown eyes and a complexion smack-dab in the middle of dark and light (not exactly tan nor mestizo pale either).

I speak English which is, ploddingly and by default a universal language and I also speak Tagalog which is a language spoken by a small minority of the population. I eat rice as a staple food (also statistically the world's primary consummed edible) but I don't like it that much (balancing the equation for the rest of the population). I'm a non-drinker and a non-smoker, a former Catholic (the words "former" and "Catholic" both being operational terms as Catholicism is statistically the Christian sect with the most followers and Christianity is the largest religion in the world in terms of "subscribers"), and a person of such moral, philosophical and sexual ambiguity/ambivalence (I'm not gay but I'll be damned to act stereotypically male, I study the occult as part of my Christian training and I'm pleasant enough a person to keep my moral intolerance from getting me into hot water with people) that even I don't know what I am exactly anymore.

I'm smart enough for people to acknowledge that as being one of my defining qualities but never smart enough to actually take myself anywhere. I'm weak as shnit when it comes to athletics but I'm not decrepit (just a bit tired and feeling a bit sick perpetually but I've used up less sick leaves than anyone else in my office).

The oddest thing (ignore this if your not into birth sign stuff. I don't, by the way): I was born in the middle day of Aquarius' overlapping in January (January 25), when the Zodiac Overlaps with the Gregorian Calendar (January to March), in the part of the year when the Gregorian Calendar overlaps with the Chinese Lunar Calendar (January-February), during the beginning of a new Lunar Year cycle (I was born where its still the Year of the Pig in China but its already the Year of the Rat where I was born - making me a Rat-Pig ô_ô). By the way, I was born in a hospital that jutted from reclaimed land over the ocean. I'm not sure whether I was born 12nn or 12mn though.

And even with the recurring theme of middles, averages and centers in my life, I can safely say that people notice me when I enter a room. As much of a bastard as I am, people still luv me ô_ô!

 

[davidjh7]

Thank you for the post, Mibb. I am actually glad, and hoping, that my experience is unique---I would never wish "invisability" on anyone else. To quote an old Harlen Ellison story, it is like "Having no mouth, and I must scream".

 

[Lex]

David--average is a state of mind, man. Free yourself.

There are people in lots of places who will find you WAY above average. I felt like you did for much of my life--I was a skinny comic book geek and a nerd who got no play from the ladies. The things that women liked about me, the guys teased me mercilessly for (eyes, dimples, etc.). I felt like I never fit in. Oh, how times can change.

Don't walk around feeling invisible and average--you aren't. Your personality is a great feature. I'd rather have a "Average" guy with a big heart and exceptional personality than have a stud who is a self-absorbed asshole.

HUGS.

 

[Dr Rock]

huh. an "average" person would not have been smart enough to even start thinking about it, let alone figure it out. if you mean physiologically average, well nuts - what's that got to do with anything important?

 

[shaguar]

The point is that we "average" guys hope to be at least average, fear that we are below even that, and are angry why we missed out on being above average. The thing is that being a man, you have to approach women, who will take pleasure in rejecting you if you are merely average. They don't need you, since even an ugly woman will get approached in a few beers time. Most of all, it is a matter of confidence, and as "average" you are less likely to have been treated throughtout your life in way that would have boosted your confidence. It is also a matter of your circle, and don't count on having the right friends, through whom you can make other friends, if you are average.

Even in societies with arranged marriages, looks do count, status and wealth does count. Some races and societies are merely more average, or to be blunt, uglier than others. There are of course outliers, but the majority of the sample stays in a tight group. In most modern societies, men (and women) are deemed to be desireable if they are tall, strong (built), have well defined features. Men should exhibit secondary sex characteristics like a strong jaw, broad shoulders, booming voice. And women all over the world secretly wish the cock and balls of their mate are "meaty", even if they don't know why.

This is not the Western ideal. It is a global ideal. Around the world, this ideal my not be a profanely embraced as in the West. For instance, CEOs and men in places of authority tend to be in their positions because of their confidence. With few exceptions, they are taller than average. This is much less likely to be the case as you head to Asia (and not just the Orient) - Asia meaning the continent and not what it means to Americans. There is no one to blame for this, it's that man and especially woman is a superficial creature, worthy of contempt.

Oddly enough, average people will fawn over their superiors in the species and be shitty to fellow-averagites. Go figure.

 

[Chuck64]

As always, Dr. Rock speaks the truth!

"Hi, I'm Chuck... Amazingly average in every way. Welcome to the meeting."

I totally understand what you're getting at. I don't usually scare people though. In person, if there's more than two or three people in a group, I have to just sit back in the corner with my arms crossed and observe until I understand the group dynamics. I'm not very good at navigating social situtions.

When I was in Vegas, one of my coworkers started dating this girl. She could cook like nobody's business. Every Sunday, a group of his friends - almost all college buddies of his - would meet at his house for supper. There was usually about 8 of us - mostly the same people from week to week. It took me almost three months before I felt comfortable enough to really start participating in the conversations. Of course, the real social outlet for me was showing up early to help her finish cooking the meal. I'd get to hang out in the kitchen and chat with just the two of them.

I'd have to say that if you want more attention, just get it. Dress up a little bolder. Even a simple striped shirt with at least one bright color is enough to draw a bit of attention - enough to start a conversation without scaring someone. You've got a good sense of comedic timing. Use it.

I always feel more comfortable around "my own kind". I can work my way through a crowd of people at the university's computing club without feeling the need to sit back and observe first. If you engineers are anything like us computer science nerds, it's going to be a real geek-fest, with 3 letter acronyms for 10-mile-long words flying all over the place.

 

[Mibb]

That's the thing! We're always as different as we make and know ourselves to be! ô_ô

Viva del Standardsizen!

 

[Pecker]

Invisible? I was about to disagree when you scared the shit out of me three times on the way to the kitchen.

Seriously, David, you are what you make yourself to be. If you keep things the way they are and you happen to have a large cock you'll still be invisible.

How can you be an average guy if you have a below average opinion of yourself?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being like 90% of the world's population, David, and none of them is invisible.

 

[Dr Rock]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being like 90% of the world's population, David, and none of them is invisible.

pffft. they are to me, dude. there's no point to them. the world would be a FAR more agreeable and interesting place to live if we got rid of all the normals.

 

[Pecker]

But wouldn't you be the 'normal' then?

 

[windtalkerways]

David...self-confidence as well as
sexual arousal both start in the
brain.

You are perspicacious (yeah, I
just love the sound of that one)
enough to realize that you have
a wonderful personality, you are
warm and funny.

So now...guess what? You brain
is a very receptive tool. It will
believe things you tell it...sooo,
I strongly suggest you start
telling your brain all the other
positive aspects of your being.
Sound silly? Maybe...but it
actually does work.

If you want other people to
really like you, you honestly
have to believe first that you
are a likeable person, with lots
to offer and they'd be lucky to
know you. It's not arrogance,
it's self-confidence, if you aren't
acting in an obnoxious manner.

Try it for a while, it'll make a
believer out of you, sweetie!:smile:

 

[tallguypns]

David...self-cofidence as well as
sexual arousal both start in the
brain.

You are perspicacious (yeah, I
just love the sound of that one)
enough to realize that you have
a wonderful personality, you are
warm and funny.

So now...guess what? You brain
is a very receptive tool. It will
believe things you tell it...sooo,
I strongly suggest you start
telling your brain all the other
positive aspects of your being.
Sound silly? Maybe...but it
actually does work.

If you want other people to
really like you, you honestly
have to believe first that you
are a likeable person, with lots
to offer and they'd be lucky to
know you. It's not arrogance,
it's self-confidence, if you aren't
acting in an obnoxious manner.

Try it for a while, it'll make a
believer out of you, sweetie!:smile:

I have to agree with wind on this one. I've heard the same thing many times before. Now if ONLY I could make my brain do that too.

 

[windtalkerways]

I have to agree with wind on this one. I've heard the same thing many times before. Now if ONLY I could make my brain do that too.

It will work for you if you do
it daily, Tall.

You must be aware of your
thought patterns. Some people
would be surprised how often
they berate themselves and
are negative, without giving
it a second thought.

Just replacing the negatives
with positive input will make a
big difference.

I admire the fact that both you
and David have the self-confidence
to post face pix. It bodes well for
you both, as you know you are
nice looking guys.

Good luck, Tall! :smile:

 

[Dr Rock]

But wouldn't you be the 'normal' then?

i thought we'd established that would be davidjh7

 

[Matthew]

i thought we'd established that would be davidjh7

Assuming he survives your purge.

 

[EnglishGentleman]

David, been there, done it bought the tshirt.....

I spent most of my life feeling distinctly below average, despite having talents and skills I thought I should have been appreciated for. I was verbally abused and beaten at school and by my father, chewed up and spat out by most of the women I've loved and never felt comfortable in any job I did, despite rising up the ranks very quickly.

"Wallflower Syndrome" I used to call it. Forever the nice guy, but never the hero.

Giving up being a drone and starting working for myself put me on the road to awakening the real me, and letting go of my last, unappreciative girlfriend pushed me further. That allowed me to meet, a few weeks ago, a woman who truly cares for me and shows it. She makes me feel better than I thought possible and has spurred me on to more than anyone could have motivated me before.

David, your posts show you're a bright, caring guy with a heart of gold. Don't let the bastards grind you down, hold your head up high and be counted. The right partner, job, opportunity or whatever will suddenly hit you and you too will be on the prow of your own Titanic screaming "I'm the King of the world!"

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

I think we all have our own experience and who we are depends a lot on what's between our ears. I was a fairly introverted kid who walked around with my nose in a book. The creature you see today didn't happen overnight. As Dr Rock says, just starting this thread puts you above average. As my 350 pound friend who pulls more gorgeous cock than anyone I know says "it's all about the 'tude".

Be good to yourself. If you want to achieve mastery in anything, practice. Anthony Robbins says only through difficulty do we become stronger, as if we were lifting weights and strengthening our biceps.

OK, I'm sounding syrupy so I'll shut up.

 

[Lex]

I like it when you sound all sweet. Makes we wanna LICK you.

Can we invite David?

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

I like it when you sound all sweet. Makes we wanna LICK you.

Can we invite David?

I'll teach David how to make you into a quivering piggy bottom