Average guys

Chuck64

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Sorry Guys... David asked us for help. Don't hijack the thread.

Like I said before, find the (small) group of people you're most comfortable around, and really put yourself out there, and keep doing it until you get the attention and respect that you deserve - and you really do deserve it. That's where Windy's jedi mind tricks come in. They really do work.
 

jeff black

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David,

You're great! I love chatting with you. I think we all feel average sometimes.. It is just important to pick what you like about urself, and make that what is important to u. People will follow.. These people have good advice... listen, and smile to the thought that Sorcerer offered to teach you how to top hot guys like Lex :biggrin1:

see you in the chatrooms:cool:
 

Lex

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Chuck64 said:
Sorry Guys... David asked us for help. Don't hijack the thread.

Like I said before, find the (small) group of people you're most comfortable around, and really put yourself out there, and keep doing it until you get the attention and respect that you deserve - and you really do deserve it. That's where Windy's jedi mind tricks come in. They really do work.

My invitation to a trist was my way of telling him his isn't average.

Here is the key:

If we all think he is NOT average, and he thinks he is average: he IS average.

If we all think he IS average and he thinks and knows he is NOT average: Who gives a flying fuck what WE think?!?

Confidence is at once sexy, engaging and contagious. People gravitiate towards people who exude it. They want to feed off of it and be a part of it. I faked it until I believed it deep down.
 

tallguypns

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Lex said:
Confidence is at once sexy, engaging and contagious. People gravitiate towards people who exude it. They want to feed off of it and be a part of it. I faked it until I believed it deep down.

Perhaps a lesson or two in faking confidence would be in order for those of us which have none.
 

windtalkerways

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Chuck64 said:
Sorry Guys... David asked us for help. Don't hijack the thread.

Like I said before, find the (small) group of people you're most comfortable around, and really put yourself out there, and keep doing it until you get the attention and respect that you deserve - and you really do deserve it. That's where Windy's jedi mind tricks come in. They really do work.

Lol, (((Chuck)))...is that the way of the
Jedi? I had no idea...I think I may have
seen the very first movie. :smile:
 

Freddie53

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David,

I am new to this disucssion having just read your introduction. I have been busy and also been following the New Posts instead of going down forum by forum so somehow I missed this thread.

Average. You are right. Average is not noticed. As a school teacher, I bitched that the average student got nothing. We had all these programs for those who were behind which means below average and the gifted and talented programs for the very bright. And what did we provide extra for the very average student? Not a damn thing.

Average is considered OK and not in need of fixing. So average people don't have to be recognized as they enter the room. After all, eveyone knows that they don't come from the wrong crowd and need to be recognzied to show that they have no prejudice toward those who are below average. And of course we fall over ourselves recognizing the talents fo the very bright.

Not right and not fair. I have been fighting htis now for 30 years and it isn't that much better.

As far as penis size. What the hell does that matter in the real world? We don't walk around with our dicks on display. It is considered rude to do so. And if we expose ourselves, we could land in jail. So, dick size only matters to the owner of the penis and those who will get to play with it. That is pure and simple.

As for attitude. You betcha. Those who have a above average attitude will succeed even though they are average. Those who are above average in ability but have low self esteem will not succeed very far.

So attitude, which is solely in the domain of the person, in the end determines how successful a person is in dealing with other people in their daily routines.

In your case, David, you have a marvelous personality. In real life you may be shy. You haven't said, but I'm pretty sure that no one in your real life, knows a lot about you that we know.

This is certainly true for me.

So take the attitude that "average" in what we were given is great and we ourselves can turn it into greater than average in the things that really count in live.
 

D_alex8

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Freddie53 said:
Average is considered OK and not in need of fixing.
Y'know what I think? I think that 'average' has the potential to be a hugely exciting canvas on which to paint whatever the hell you choose.

And the second you start painting (it's my metaphor, and I'm damn well running with it), old friends will notice the change in you immediately, and will respond with a refreshed sense of interest ... while new people whose path you cross will simply take this as being 'you'.

My advice is very often "if it ain't broke, don't mend it" ... but since you are clearly not entirely happy with where things are now, why not instigate a few changes --- and see where they lead? What's to lose --- it's the choice between feeling down, or feeling that you have put in a real effort. And if some of the changes don't quite work out or suit you, then try something else. But persevere. Until you find a 'you' that you're happier with.. because anything less than that is what I term 'slow death', aggravating oneself 24/7.
I think you've just gotten into a rut of 'accepting' a dissatisfied state of being, and now just need to take those tricky steps to get out of this ... very much like people stuck in a bad relationship, but who keep on putting up with it as it gradually eats away at them.. unless they finally take that decisive step to break free.

But I also want to respond on a personal level... David, you sure as hell aren't average in any sense. I've waited for several pages of others to point this out before I did so, as you know I think highly of you anyway... I wanted you to hear it from more independent sources. And fuck, even Dr. Rock came out in support of you (while taking a momentary break from destroying humankind). You bring life and personality wherever you go at LPSG, you are intelligent and witty (well, some of your jokes make my cat groan, but nobody's perfect :tongue:)... and you deserve to find greater satisfaction in life. You can change if you want to ... and anything that brings you greater pleasure and satisfaction will do the same for many other people here, who are just eager to see you happier. :smile: Oh, and one final thing ... your cock is not small, so get over that bit of negative self-image too, huh? :wink: :kiss:
 

b.c.

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I think maybe the key is finding your own "you", your style, your way of doing things, the things that make you happy about being you. I'm sure there is something you're great at, something that makes you uniquely above average.

By the way, Dave. I'm "invisible" too. But you know what? Sometimes, given the place and the circumstances, invisible can be good.
 

Webster

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windtalkerways said:
You are perspicacious
____________________
Many years ago, one of my friends brought up the word perspicacity.
Another friend said it sounded like Hopalong's sweaty sister.

:biggrin1:
____________________________________

Okay David,
You're obviously unhappy with the way things are now.
Concerning what you're doing about it, (as cranky old Dr. Phil would say) HOW'S THAT WORKING FOR YUH?

The answer, of course is that IT ISN'T.

So, it's time to try something different.

I agree with nearly all the excellent advice I have read in this thread.

PRETEND IT IS UNTIL IT IS.
IF YOU BELIEVE IT, IT WILL BE SO.

See if you can find a book by Louise Hay about loving yourself and being positive about yourself. Her book did wonders for me in making me feel more positive.

I was always the shy skinny kid.
Working out, 1. attracted people to me and 2. made people afraid to approach me. The people who did approach me were very often surprised that I'm a really nice guy.

Obviously, we all care about you and want to help you to be happy. You've got to do the work yourself. And it's really very simple and easy.

Don't say one more NEGATIVE word about yourself.
PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE, saying POSITIVE things about yourself. Like what?

Look in the mirror and say, "I look great today"!
When you go outside say, "What a beautiful day"!

If you're walking or driving, practice saying these things over and over (in your head or aloud).

Positive Affirmations:
Don't say "I WILL be".
Do say "I AM"

You will amaze yourself at how much better your life can be..
 

windtalkerways

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Webster said:
windtalkerways said:
David...self-cofidence as well as
sexual arousal both start in the
brain.

You are perspicacious
____________________
Many years ago, one of my friends brought up the word perspicacity.
Another friend said it sounded like Hopalong's sweaty sister.

:biggrin1:

ROFLMAO!!!:kiss:
 

Lex

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tallguypns said:
Perhaps a lesson or two in faking confidence would be in order for those of us which have none.

I think what everyone must realize is that if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Guys struggle with body image issues as much as girls do--we just don't talk about it as openly as you guys have been able to--I applaud that.

I was a tall, skinny comic geek and nerd throughout school. No one gave me the time of day, male or female, except theother comic book geeks. I had very little confidence with women and really, did not believe in anything other than my mental capabilities. This prevented me from playing sports and much more.

Then, I decided "FUCK IT and FUCK THEM!" I'm gonna be okay with ME. Now, I did not believe it deep down at first, but I pretended to. It eas hard to do it too. But, it was amazing how people's backhanded comments stopped when *I* stopped acting like they mattered. Their power over me was given to them BY me and only *I* could take it away.

The next thing I did was to undo all the social dogma that got imprinted upon me--the pictures, songs, stoires, and social strata that told me I had to have facial hair and be athletic with a chiseled body to be a MAN. I stopped trying to wear the cool clothes and listen to the cool songs. I was the nerdy black kid who liked Cher and AC/DC and rap and I had to embrace that.

I look to find my own sense of style. I am a believer in looking like a million bucks to feel like a million bucks. I am not saying to go pay top dollar for clothes--I am a cheap bastard and only buy things on clearance. That being said, you can look great for inexpensive amounts.

Once I began dressing in a style that made ME feel good and being okay with my Teen Titan/X-men comics and Rock music, women started paying attention to me. They noticed the change.

Over time, my faking it, combined with their different reactions and my growing maturity and comfort in my own skin turned into a CLEAR sense of who I was, what my worth is and how to feel good about ME.

It was NOT an easy journey. Even today, I sometimes look in the mirror and see that 5'11", 155 pound HS senior. Then I remember how long and fiercely I have fought to love him and I appreciate both where I have been and where I am today.

I wish this for everyone and I think most can find it if they really put forth the ongoing, relentless effort to get there.

Good luck, guys.