tallguypns said:
Perhaps a lesson or two in faking confidence would be in order for those of us which have none.
I think what everyone must realize is that if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Guys struggle with body image issues as much as girls do--we just don't talk about it as openly as you guys have been able to--I applaud that.
I was a tall, skinny comic geek and nerd throughout school. No one gave me the time of day, male or female, except theother comic book geeks. I had very little confidence with women and really, did not believe in anything other than my mental capabilities. This prevented me from playing sports and much more.
Then, I decided "FUCK IT and FUCK THEM!" I'm gonna be okay with ME. Now, I did not believe it deep down at first, but I pretended to. It eas hard to do it too. But, it was amazing how people's backhanded comments stopped when *I* stopped acting like they mattered. Their power over me was given to them BY me and only *I* could take it away.
The next thing I did was to undo all the social dogma that got imprinted upon me--the pictures, songs, stoires, and social strata that told me I had to have facial hair and be athletic with a chiseled body to be a MAN. I stopped trying to wear the cool clothes and listen to the cool songs. I was the nerdy black kid who liked Cher and AC/DC and rap and I had to embrace that.
I look to find my own sense of style. I am a believer in looking like a million bucks to feel like a million bucks. I am not saying to go pay top dollar for clothes--I am a cheap bastard and only buy things on clearance. That being said, you can look great for inexpensive amounts.
Once I began dressing in a style that made ME feel good and being okay with my Teen Titan/X-men comics and Rock music, women started paying attention to me. They noticed the change.
Over time, my faking it, combined with their different reactions and my growing maturity and comfort in my own skin turned into a CLEAR sense of who I was, what my worth is and how to feel good about ME.
It was NOT an easy journey. Even today, I sometimes look in the mirror and see that 5'11", 155 pound HS senior. Then I remember how long and fiercely I have fought to love him and I appreciate both where I have been and where I am today.
I wish this for everyone and I think most can find it if they really put forth the ongoing, relentless effort to get there.
Good luck, guys.