Avoid certain post?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by BBB2.5, Jul 17, 2011.

  1. BBB2.5

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    I am curious as to why members will advoid post that talk about HIV/AIDS?
    I have been a member here for a long time, and when a thread comes about that allows me or someone to post a comment about HIV/AIDS. Most people will even acknowledge that part of the discussion. Why is that?
    Seems like the only way this issue is discussed is when it is the topic of the thread.

    I appreciate and respect those of you that have discussed issues of this matter.

    Not looking for any heated battles on this topic......:smile:
     
  2. dolfette

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    i've not noticed too many references to hiv/aids, but i only follow this forum and women's issues. the rest of the site is a bit too sex/dick orientated for my tastes.

    i guess a lot of us don't have any experience with the issue.
    and for those who do, perhaps there's still a stigma that carries even onto an anonymous message board.

    i can see how frustrating it would be to want to open up an issue but have it ignored. what about it did you most want discussed?
     
  3. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    This is why I rarely respond to posts about HIV. I have no experience with it and only the most basic knowledge of it. If someone is asking a question about HIV, rather than answering myself, I feel it's much more appropriate to let members with more knowledge and/or experience answer.
     
  4. dolfette

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    none of my family, none of my friends, nobody i know...
    my daughter tells me that there's one girl in her school who is infected. poor kid got it from her mother. that's, as far as i'm aware, as close as it's ever come in my life.
     
  5. BBB2.5

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    I thought this thread would turn out the same way. I guess it will forever remain a topic of ...Not me, know one I know, and not my problem ....issue.

    Thank you 2 for at least being honest , I respect you both.

    :smile:
     
  6. BBB2.5

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    There is not one issue, as a whole, it is ignored. For me, I like to tell my story hoping that others will realize how very easy it is to get HIV.

    :wink:
     
  7. commando1463

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    BBB2.5, I applaud you for wanting to share your story about how easy it is to get HIV. I came of age just as HIV and AIDS was becoming known and experienced the loss of two good friends to AIDS, one as a result of tainted blood supply that was never acknowledged as AIDS and another very good friend I had grown up with as a result of sexual transmission. The cautious attitudes of the early 90's regarding safer sex practices are all but forgotten now and there seems to be an attitude of "it could never happen to me."
     
  8. dolfette

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    i still see it as my problem, because it's something i have to drill into my kids. well...that and every other std. but HIV being both potentially fatal and incurable, it's top of the list.
    i personally prefer rubbered up sex anyway. it's less messy.
    that frightens me.
    i was a union rep at college, and on aids awareness day i would walk around with my basket of rubbers and educational pamphlets. most people were receptive, even the priest humoured me, but there were plenty of ''oh that? that's just a gay thing.'' types who walked away before you could speak to them.
    and it's gone downhill from there. my 14y/o daughter rants in disgust at the number of her friends who take no precautions at all.
    she talked one boy (he's a total slut, mum!) into going to the clinic and getting tested. turns out he had chlamydia! nowhere near as bad as aids, but just goes to show how at risk these children are.
     
  9. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Like dolfette, I do see it as my issue or problem. As a sexually active person who has multiple sex partners, it is definitely something I have to be aware of.

    And although I read threads regarding HIV (Bbucko's thread is a recent example), I rarely comment. It's not so much that it's a case of 'not me, no one I know, not my problem'. It really is more that I lack knowledge or experience with it, so don't feel it is my place to comment.


    You're welcome, and thank you :smile:.


    I think personal stories (on any topic) have amazing power to educate people and make them more aware.


    I was going through high school in the 90s and safe sex messages were everywhere!!!! We really had it hammered into us that AIDS (no one ever mentioned HIV back then) in particular was a big bad scary thing. And I'm glad for all those safe sex messages. It means that only one of my partners has ever shown any reluctance to use a condom, and he quickly agreed when I said there would be no sex without it.


    I've read that STD rates, especially chlamydia, are rising dramatically here too. I wonder if the safe sex messages aren't being sent anymore, or maybe young people just aren't seeing HIV/AIDS as such a scary thing anymore because it is more manageable?
     
  10. uncut1

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    Any of us who where around dureing the early 80's remember all to well the horrible loss we indured. going into aids wards,watching are friends die by the dozens. the
    QUILT project that got so big it coulden't be displayed all at once.The young kids today never felt that loss so they don't get it. We have barebacking videos that are all over the place today.Hiv and other diseases are up in are young today,I think they are afraid to stop..and think..it could happen to me. All they need to do is talk to their Dr. and just ask questions. As then it is today,education is the key.
     
  11. LaFemme

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    I remember losing gay friends in the 80's. I remember getting tested. I remember when herpes was the worst thing a person could get.

    HIV/AIDS still affects a few friends, but most of the ones I knew didn't survive it. There is no way to communicate that to the kids of today. They don't remember a pre-AIDS' world. I've taught mine safe sex and condom use, but to be honest, I think they are still more concerned about pregnancy than HIV.
     
  12. Over-reaching

    Over-reaching Active Member

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    Probably lots of reasons why people don't post in these topics, if they don't.

    One is no doubt because many people don't feel that they have much to contribute, if they don't know a lot about the condition and aren't close to anyone who has it.

    Another, perhaps more insidious, reason might be that much of the content of this site is fairly light-hearted, emphasising the fun side of sex (as the particular posters see it) or asking for advice about how to have better sex, or more sex, or whatever. A few topics address questions of relationship problems, although not very many compared with lots of other forums. But I guess for lots of people, HIV–AIDS is something that reminds them, quite forcefully, that everything is not always fun and games when it comes to sex. (Even if a person's infection was not contracted through sex, it obviously has a huge impact on their sex life, their ability to form and keep relationships [both sexual and non-sexual, probably], their employment prospects in some cases, and probably their perception of self.)

    As for me, I suppose I fall partly into both categories, to be honest, although in fairness mostly the first one. What do I know about it? What can I contribute to a topic? Usually, not much, although I suppose I could read and learn.

    (Branching out a bit, I have, however, read a number comments in threads where people have advised someone to "be careful", "cover up", etc, etc, particularly when the OP is obviously someone young or inexperienced. Although HIV is not usually mentioned specifically in this context [here on this forum, I mean], it nevertheless must be one of the things that is top in the mind of the person making such posts.)
     
  13. earllogjam

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    I don't usually post because I have nothing meaningful to add to the conversation that hasn't already been said in one form or another in the thread or previous threads.

    It's not that I actively avoid those posts as it is an important issue that should be talked about.
     
  14. xtop

    xtop New Member

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    I remember the dark days as a volunteer at "Broward House," watching ppl fade away and feeling helpless. It's hard at times in the delirious heat of the moment.

    HIV/AIDS: Treatment as prevention – the tough road ahead PlusNews Global | HIV/AIDS: Treatment as prevention
     
  15. Stephenmass

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    I may not post in them but I ALWAYS read them. Because I don't have a lot of knowledge in the subject I glean knowledge from the threads that discuss it. I never actively bypass any thread unless it is a sick, twisted thread which this is not.
     
  16. D_Sam Rockswell

    D_Sam Rockswell New Member

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    I'm with you all on this issue. I read them but when it comes to contribution, i'm at a loss. I try to leave it up to the more experienced people on this site. Same goes for other topics/threads. HIV/AIDS is one hellava scary issue and i'm guessing that most people understand their ignorance about it and are afraid that they'll come off as just that fearful/ignorant.
     
  17. BBB2.5

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    WOW...this make me feel better, reading everyones post, about how they feel on this issue. Most of which seem to fall into they "I don't know much about it" category.
    Best advise my mom gave me ; If you don't know , then ask a question..... Someone on this forum will have your answer.

    I'm not sure if those of you that have replied know my story, if you don't mind I would like to share it once again.

    short version: I was in a LTR for over 7 years. He was the first gay guy I had ever met that was gay. He was the first person I ever had sex with, and it was great. We moved in together and started a life. Going into our 4th year together, he got bored. That's when his cheating began, it continued for the last 3 years we were together. We never used condoms, he was clean when we first met each other. I got extremely sick in 1992, went to the doctor thinking maybe it was just a bad case of bronchitis. They asked if I had ever had an HIV test. I said no, and had one done. For some reason I was not surprised when they told me I had it. During that time discussion of HIV was everywhere. So I knew about it, signs of it and symptom..etc.
    Not only did I have HIV, I had full blown AIDS, and I also had PCP, (deadly Pneumonia).

    Education: A normal person T-cell count is between 800 and 1000. They are your soldiers and they fight off infection. When I was diagnosed, I only had 50 t-cells

    Back to my story:
    The doctors sent me home with medication to treat the PCP. It progressed rapidly and one week later I was in the hospital. It was awful. During my stay, both my lung collapsed, they were being destroyed by the aggressive PCP. I was dieing, because they could not find a away slow it down. I was infused with heavy amount of antibiotics. They were making me very sick, could not keep any food down. A feeding tube was put in to give me nourishment. They performed some procedures to try and close up the tiny hole that had been left from the PCP. Finally, had surgery to remove the dead tissue, so my lungs could being to heal.
    Many special event took place while I was in the hospital. Easter, my birthday, mother's day, my dad's birthday and Memorial day. I was in there for over 6 weeks. When I came home I only weighed 99 pounds. I was a total mess, and my battle to live began.
    In a way I consider myself lucky. Most people back then had to wait and worry as to when they would get sick, once they were diagnosed. I was there from the very start. Endured many illness along the way. One of which resulted in me getting a cornea transplant to restore my vision in my left eye.
    With all that, I am a survivor of HIV/AIDS. It has become apart of my life. How long for me? This coming April will be 20 years.
    My life is great and I am healthy. I have a wonderful husband, and a fantastic life. We have been together nearly 13 years now. Life if FANTASTIC.
    As for the guy who infected me..he is dead. ( I say "guy" because our relationship mean nothing to him)

    It's my hope that if you have read my story, you at least take from it, you never know what your sexual partners are doing. Alway play safe and stay healthy.

    Yeah , I'm kind of long winded.....:wink:
     
  18. nudeyorker

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    BBB2.5 thank you for sharing your story. I think it's important for people to know how easily this virus can be transmitted and the importance of testing.
    I have not contributed much to these threads because my only experience is loosing many friends and I don't think in most instances people really want to hear about my friends and on another level perhaps I don't always want to share the intimate details of their battle.
     
  19. dolfette

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    bloody hell...
    that's quite a story. i wish you many more years of good health.
     
  20. willow78

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    Simply put, I don't post because I have no experience so can offer no advice nor comment. And a thread about such a serious topic is no place for my standard terrible jokes.
     
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