Awesome GF, but getting bored/annoyed

[fak_et]

I got an awesome gf for over a year, but i am starting to get a little bored of the relationship lately and kind of annoyed. Shes been a great girl, awesome personality, very caring, good sexx, pretty hot, idk you name it.

It just feels like Im putting more than I want to into it. She wants to be around me 24/7 and I just can't take that i need my own space and when shes not around, shes blowing up my phone trying to find a way to get around me. I dont know its just very irritating, i cant get my own space regardless of what i do. Then when i have space i need to fight dearly to keep it. Its rough because I have to host her, a lot of times shell get dropped off at my place and i have to transport her back which is annoying as well considering she always comes over my place.

Another big problem. She gets really insecure when other girls are around me and this has been an ongoing issue. I have a few close family friends that come around occasionally and she just gets insecure and acts all pissed off around them, gets pretty mean with them, then i have to make things right. No matter what we do it hasn't resolved, despite her promising she won't get into it again. Its the same situation with some of my guy friends, shes gotten into arguments with them. Im tired of sorting out her being mean to other people.

I don't know, i just am getting bored and I don't know what to do. She is a great girl but these two main flaws just aren't getting resolved and ive brought them up for months.

The issue with her getting into it with my friends and insecurity towards other girls really pushed the limit recently and I thought about ending the relationship for the first time.

What should i do?

 

[wellhung9]

I'm actually having a similar problem with the first part of your problem. She always wants to be around me, and I can't take it anymore.


I'm curious to hear what people suggest. Probably to break up with our gf's, haha

 

[alex0303]

just dump her
do you envision life together?
how it would be?
this is supposed to be the best time before marriage.
after this, things get uglier.

 

[cjc3552]

I think it sounds like she should find a better guy.

 

[B_BabyJoy09]

I actually went through a situation similar to this, and it was horrible to say the least, hurt alot.

I would tell her how u feel, dont be a jerk about it, becuz she obviously cares for you, seems like alot, if she only wants to do things with u 24/7. Its not like u shouldnt be expecting this, you have been going out with her for over a year, right?

sounds like she deserves a better BF that wont get bored or annoyed

hmm seems like everyguy is like this.... alot of hope....

OHH *news flash* every girl is gunna get like this at some point if u plan on getting married some day, just saying:biggrin1:

 

[cockneedy]

look up "borderline pesonality disorder", my wife displays the symptons and acts like your girlfriend. i remember what i was once told, no matter how beautiful and hot she is, somebody, somewhere, is sick of her shit. try to talk to her but be ready for it to irrationally blow up in your face. better to figure it out now than after you get married.

ps; in the end, it was impossible for me to be around 24/7, so my wife dates other men to fill the time. so be careful what you get in to.

 

[lookingforhung]

fak_et

It's not your fault, fak_e.

People don't realize it but you can't have a good relationship if you don't have your own life, with your own friends, and your own responsibilities. Clearly, she doesn't. This is even the case for married couples. You basically end up feeling exactly like he is - feeling smothered.

 

[sdbg]

Fak_et, I feel for you. It sounds like you have a possessive, insecure, obsessive lady on your hands. I know so many women who behave that way. One of my cycling friends hardly makes time to ride anymore because he has to get permission to leave his GF's side to hang with me. He came down to San Diego to visit last weekend to ride. She phoned and text messaged him constantly between Friday evening and Saturday afternoon. We had to hurry our ride Saturday morning so he could get back to Orange County before she had to work on Saturday night. I hate being smoothered and nagged. I'd rather be alone than to deal with that kind of dysfunctional drama constantly.

 

[fak_et]

She should get a better boyfriend? Come on now, I treat her great. I don't know how it can get much better than me, its her causing the issues and Ive brought them up to her and she even agrees with me on everything but continues to do so.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

I think it sounds like she should find a better guy.

What the fuck? lol. Sounds like she has a pretty good one.

She should get a better boyfriend? Come on now, I treat her great. I don't know how it can get much better than me, its her causing the issues and Ive brought them up to her and she even agrees with me on everything but continues to do so.

I would lay it out for her. Back off or I'm gone. She's incredibly insecure and needs your constant validation in order to feel like she's worth anything. That's not healthy, and it's not your job to make her realize her self-worth. That's her job. She needs to see a therapist perhaps... if she can't do this on her own, anyway. But she needs to acknowledge that there's a problem within herself, and acknowledge what that problem is before anything is going to change.

 

[D_Bemeslay Bugthorpe Boobtube III]

Possessive attitudes and mean streaks especially in territorial situations are signs of character flaws which often are incorrectable. My suggestion is you either learn to deal with it and ignore her when she is out of control or else you move on and look for someone else. Either way the most difficult thing is coming to the realization you have to find closure with this flaw and its okay to go a while until you make a decision on that. But making the decision will give you closure and ultimately make you happier.

 

[closetbi]

Dude, there is nothing you can do to fix her. Know that if you stay with her, that she is going to want to see you every waking moment of your life and will act like you cheated on her just because another girl smiles at YOU. I would know, I just got out of one of these relationships, and let me tell you it wasn't pretty. I would have the same problem, getting her back home, she would just toss herself into my life and become my god damn responsibility. Yeah I love chilling with her, I kind of would hit her up right now, but I promised myself I wouldn't. I broke up with her twice and she was still around, so on her birthday she pulled some of the same shit, (ie. getting fucked up, losing her purse, and coming home to my house crying because she didnt have a phone to call me from.) I got her her purse, never talked to her again. She tried and tried again to hit me up, and I would not answer. I deleted her phone number from my contancts, and when I got lonely and wanted to call her, I couldn't. I moved on. I'd rather be bored than have all my resources sucked into that fucking leech of a bitch. Your friends will be proud of you man, and there's a whole lot of other girls out there that respect their individuality and will not do this psycho shit to you.

Good luck.

 

[DiscoBoy]

I actually went through a situation similar to this, and it was horrible to say the least, hurt alot.

I would tell her how u feel, dont be a jerk about it, becuz she obviously cares for you, seems like alot, if she only wants to do things with u 24/7. Its not like u shouldnt be expecting this, you have been going out with her for over a year, right?

Do that and then lay it out for her. She's gotta back off or it's over. Be nice about it, of course.

 

[hud01]

I think it sounds like she should find a better guy.

Reads like you have no fucking clue.

you have to confront her now and cut her bs off now. I had the same issue. I had a gf who would call me at work saying she was lonely and I needed to come home now. It was very stressful.

If she doesn't cut it out by Friday, you need to dump her and move on. Trust me I have been there.

 

[TallTexasTea]

Hey buddy, she isn't that great a girlfriend. She may be a wonderful person, she may love you truly, she may be nice to all God's creatures, but the mental angst she stirs up in your life is significant and makes her a bad relationship girl. Don't dump her if you love her, but tell her what bothers you and that you two need a seperation of some length of time, if you want to still be with her. If you are bored mentally and physically cut her loose so she can get over you and maybe learn from her mistakes.

 

[cjc3552]

I apologize, I was more rude than I should have been. I also think that before we say I was wrong, we’d need to hear from her. Not implying that you are lying, but we are only getting one side. But based on your statements, you should get out of the relationship. But I did fail to see how you being bored is her problem. That sounds more on your end. Maybe you could explain that better to me. The insecurity is on her. Between the two, if you can’t resolve it, it’s better for both of you to split.

Cockneedy- What did he write that sounds anything like Borderline? Apparently my degree in Psychology and having actually diagnosed people with this serious disorder was not enough to pick it out. In all seriousness, be very careful before you “online diagnose” people with serious conditions. Your girl might be completely crazy; it’s just not usually a good idea to self diagnose a serious condition. Just like I don’t think people should self diagnose cancer; a very dangerous habit.

Meg and Fak-I’ll apologize again for my rudeness. I failed to see (and I read your statements multiple times now) where you showed you were a great boyfriend. Again, not implying anything against you, but your statements were about her (and your boredom) not about how often you cook for her, open doors, bring her flowers, remember birthdates, etc. While my statement was rude, your paragraphs said nothing to the contrary.

Hud01- Your comment reads like you have no clue. You’ve got to be the most understanding person I’ve ever had the please to converse with. I bet all the girls love your sweet caring disposition. What loving advice, give her an ultimatum. They always work, lol.

 

[Proud7]

Communication is needed here. Tell her in a cordial way, that you're feeling a bit smothered and need your space sometimes. She should be mature enough to understand(hopefully). As far as insecurity, tell her that insecurity is a turn-off, and if she trusts you, she shouldn't feel that way. Otherwise it sounds like you got it good.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

I think it sounds like she should find a better guy.

Hear hear.

Men who just can't stand to spend time with a great girl come in two kinds.

The ones who really would rather spend time with their bros
Which means you just aren't grown up enough for an adult relationship... wait until you get over junior high school and try again...

And the ones who want "space" so they can go after other girls...
Which also means you are too immature for an adult relationship... In which case stop dating great girls and stick to the slutty skanks who aren't out there looking for a full growed man.


Either way, if you ain't invested for the long haul, you owe it to her to get the fuck out... she is looking for Mr Right and if you know that ain't you, be upfront about it.

 

[D_Sharretonne Schlongue]

Hear hear.

Men who just can't stand to spend time with a great girl come in two kinds.

The ones who really would rather spend time with their bros
Which means you just aren't grown up enough for an adult relationship... wait until you get over junior high school and try again...

And the ones who want "space" so they can go after other girls...
Which also means you are too immature for an adult relationship... In which case stop dating great girls and stick to the slutty skanks who aren't out there looking for a full growed man.


Either way, if you ain't invested for the long haul, you owe it to her to get the fuck out... she is looking for Mr Right and if you know that ain't you, be upfront about it.

Just because he does not want to give her 24/7 attention does not mean that he is immature.

Having time for friends and other things that do not always involve your girlfriend is normal and should not be construed as "junior high".

Good luck with you decision, I just suggest being up front and seeing if that works. If not, I just weigh the good and the bad, if the bad is worse than the good, end it. Just my opinion.

 

[NightFish]

Have you told her how you feel without getting angry? Try telling her just what you told us if she can't change let her go. She will be hurt but she will have a learning experience. The next guy will benefit from this...