Awful Movie Lines

[2322]

I'm watching Kirk Douglas in Ace in the Hole on TCM and I was just floored by these lines:

A waitress saying, "I met some hard boiled eggs in my lifetime but you....you're 20 minutes!"

and same character:

"I don't go to church. Kneeling bags my nylons."

Keep in mind this is NOT a comedy.

 

[Gillette]

From "Conan the Destroyer"

Helpless princess gushes - "I'll bet nothing hurts you"
Conan replies - "Only pain"

 

[Kevbo]

Patrick Swayze seems to attract bad lines as much as attracts women.

Road House: "Pain don't hurt."

Dirty Dancing: "No one puts Baby in a corner."

 

[jakeatolla]

From Predator :

Carl Weathers to Jessie Ventura " You're Bleeding "

Jessie's response "I ain't got time to bleed !!!! "

 

[Mem]

I'll be back and Hasta la vista baby...It's that awful Austrian accent that he can't hide.

 

[gjorg]

How about some good ones!
Hollywood doesn't go for booze and dope
Now get outta my way,Ive got a man waiting for me.
responce.
Thats a switch from the Fags your usually stuck with.
responce
You take that back
responds with hair pull to find its a wig
OMG, its a wig , grandma wears a wig.

One reviewer said this movie is the reason Patty duke will never become Patricia Duke!

 

[gjorg]

OMG I forgot NO ONE PUTS BABY IN A CORNER.
Dirty dancing could be one of (protected baby's) you know who's favorite movies.

 

[gjorg]

I'll be back and Hasta la vista baby...It's that awful Austrian accent that he can't hide.

umm... he is from austria! Streep hes not but come on.

 

[prince_will]

From X-Men:
(delivered by Halle Berry's Storm)

"you know what happens to a toad when it gets struck by lightning? the same thing that happens to everything else."

 

[JustAsking]

From Forbidden Planet: "There isn't a Quantum Mechanic within 10 parsecs who could fix that."

 

[JustAsking]

From almost any bad movie before 1980: "I don't know what I know anymore."

 

[wldhoney]

In "Urban Cowboy" John Travolta's character says: "Sissy, I love you and I want to apologize clear back to the first time I hit you." Awww....how sweet!

 

[Willy_the_Wonka]

Ohh, I love terrible movie dialogue, where to begin....:biggrin1:


From the Irwin Allen craptacular, The Swarm:

Dr. AndrewsJose Ferrar) Billions of dollars have been spent to make these nuclear plants safe. Fail-safe! The odds against anything going wrong are astronomical, Doctor!
Dr. HubbardRichard Chamberlain) I appreciate that, Doctor. But let me ask you. In all your fail-safe techniques, is there a provision for an attack by killer bees?

Seconds later, bees fly in, actors run around screaming, and the establishing miniature shot of the nuclear power plant explodes, cutting to a monitor that proclaims, 37, 722 dead.

Maureen Schuster: (Olivia DeHavilland, on the elementary school PA system) Attention! Attention! This is Miss Schuster. Please listen very carefully. A swarm of killer bees is coming this way.

Cut to a slo-mo shot of the playground, bees flying around, kids running waving their hands about

Brad Crane: (Michael Caine, as the movie's star Entomologist) These bees, General, are of joint concern, and they are killing Americans, without reference as to whether or not they have a serial number and are expected to salute YOU! So there will be no air drops of any kind until I give the OK!
General Slater: (Richard Widmark, representing the Military) Your OK, huh? Then just possible I can persuade you to attack this particular swarm, now that we know where it is! Attack and eliminate it!
Brad Crane: Possibly, if you can explain to me, how you air drop chemicals, without killing the native insect life! If your chemical will kill the African bee, it will also kill the American bee, right?
General Slater: Right! And better a few American bees than a lot of AMERICAN PEOPLE!
Brad Crane: That is the point, general! The honey bee is vital to the environment! Every year in america, they pollinate six billion dollars worth of crops! If you kill the bee, you're gonna kill the crop! If you kill the plants, you'll kill the people! No! No, general! There will be no air drop, until we know exactly, what we are dropping, and where, and how! Excuse me!
Crane storms off

oh, and that's just a tip of the iceberg.

That's it! Coming soon, bad dialogue from Titanic! :tongue:

 

[whatireallywant]

From that "so bad it's good" film, Plan 9 From Outer Space:

"Future events such as these will affect you in the future". :biggrin1:

 

[wldhoney]

oh, and that's just a tip of the iceberg.

That's it! Coming soon, bad dialogue from Titanic! :tongue:

Hee Hee....I'll beat you Willy! :biggrin1:

The Titanic hits the iceberg, and Leonardo's character says "This is bad".

Hmmmmmmm.......ya think?


The ship is sinking, people are dying, Leonardo and Kate run to the railing, and Kate says: "Jack(Leonardo), this is where we first met!"

 

[bobabooey69]

I love cheesy one-liners, especially in Swarzenegger movies:

Total Recall

womanwhile grabbing Arnie's crotch) "Mmm, what have you been feeding this thing?"

Arnold:.."Blondes"

:18:

Seriously, we could make a whole thread about Arnie quotes.

 

[HazelGod]

A Schwarzenegger classic:

Conan! What is best in life?

To crush your enemies...see them driven before you...and to hear the lamentations of their women.

EDIT:
That's fucking hilarious...I had no idea you guys were doing Arnie quotes when I posted this response!

 

[Willy_the_Wonka]

Thanks wldhoney, for the Titanic line! ...here's one from that movie:

"I'd rather be HIS whore than YOUR wife." A bit on the hokey side, nay?

I realised some time later that this line was used verbatim several years earlier on Twin Peaks by Peggy Lipton. On a nighttime soap created by David Lynch, I can swallow it. In a movie that tried to capture the world of 1912, uhhhhhh. no. :tongue:


Speaking of David Lynch... I love his stuff, and I love the novel Dune, but Lynch's 1984 version of Dune is a great big ol' mess of a movie that I love and hate at the same time. His longer cut and script drafts indicate a movie that was not only more faithful to the novel than what we saw, but more satisfying as a story than what we eventually got. Be that as it may, there are lines of dialogue in it that, in either their delivery, their faithfulness to the novel (without proper exposition), and just to their general uncinematic nature, are spectacular in their awfulness.

"And you thought you could bear the Kwizatz Haderach; the universe's superbeing? How DARE you!" (I love that bit of expositoy dialogue so subtly introduced there. That happens a lot in the movie. Such as:

"The Harkonnens ARE our enemies, yes. But behind them I suspect, is the Emperor.":suspect:

"I WILL kill him!"

"I am the Shadout Mapes, the HOUSSSSSSSE- KEEEEPERRRRR."

"I am Chani. Daughter of Liet."

"You carry my unborn sister in your womb!"

"Then I will teach you our way of battle. You have the word-bond...of a Bene Gesserit!"
"It IS the legend!"

"Usul has called a big one! Again, it IS the legend!" :smile:

"Usul...you were calling my name. It frightened me.":guilty:

"The Worm IS the Spice! The Spice IS the Worm! And I have the POWER to DESTROY the Spice! FOREVER!"

"KILL this child, she's an abomination! KILL her!!!!! ~gasp~choke~ GET OUUUUUT OF MYYYY MIIIIIND!":yikes:


I love cheezy cinema. :biggrin1:

 

[Principessa]

Peggy Sue, you know what a penis is now stay away from them.

Peggy's mother to her daughter in Peggy Sue Got Married

 

[ceg1526]

A Schwarzenegger classic: "Conan! What is best in life?" "To crush your enemies...see them driven before you...and to hear the lamentations of their women."

"They misunderestimated me."

"Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?"

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

And my favorite Bushism: "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job."

Oh, wait. Sorry. With all the Schwartzeneger lines, I thought we were doing Awful Political Lines.