Awkward feeling after sex!

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by eyescream, Jan 1, 2010.

  1. eyescream

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    The worst part of sex for me is AFTER everything is done. He comes, I come and I want him out of my place as soon as possible.

    I don't know why this happens, I was in an abusive relationship in the past (sleeping with the enemy) so I've gotten used to numbing my emotions during sex.

    But I like the guys I'm with now and they feel hurt and used after sex. I just can't help it.

    How do I regain my emotions? Also, do the women here get emotional during and after sex or is there any woman here who also feel like they just want to roll over and go to sleep after the deed?
     
  2. Rikter8

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    Most of the guys I have been with have done the same.
    "Thanks for cumming, shut the light off on your way out"

    Being on that side of the coin, I leave feeling incredibly used and abused.

    Try to think that they are there because they want to be with you. If you can't cuddle with them after the deed...then try just making conversation to lengthen it out for yourself. You might be able to slowly condition yourself into keeping them around longer and seeing where the relationship goes.

    If theyre ready to bolt - then let them go.
    If they want to stay... then let them stay for a bit to enjoy the time to make them feel wanted.

    It may also help to know up front what their/your intentions are. Be Upfront! If you just want to have sex and done... then say it.
    If you want a LTR, then make it known.
     
    #2 Rikter8, Jan 1, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2010
  3. D_Brecock Evileye

    D_Brecock Evileye New Member

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    Im not gay, but I can relate. You need to gain an emotional connection before you sleep with them and make sure you realy lie them as a person as well as physicaly. Then sleep with them and enjoy the conversation and company after. :)
     
  4. Rommette

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    I'm the one usually in a hurry when we're done fucking. I get dressed, grab my bag and say "well....g2g. It was nice fucking you. Goodbye!" No big deal
     
  5. D_Methamphetamine Blowvein

    D_Methamphetamine Blowvein Account Disabled

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    I've done exactly what you do for many years now...I was also in an abusive relationship at one time, and learned to numb myself during sex. Although my issue has been that I also rarely get any satisfaction out of sex. It's hard to enjoy something so intimate when the intimacy gets ripped away by the one person you thought you could trust.

    I'm trying to learn how to feel again, and thankfully I think I'm on the road to recovery.

    Eyescream, to answer your question, I think the key to having an emotional response to sex is to be with the right person. Try not to have sex just because...do it and keep in mind the other person's needs. I know that's hard to do considering our pasts. Sex is more than just the physical act...try not to put your wall up beforehand. Good luck!
     
  6. pussnboots

    pussnboots New Member

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    I think you need to deal with your emotions. Try and pull apart why you feel this, way, maybe even talk to someone, a therapist, maybe. They're great by the way. I'm not saying this to be mean in any way, but it sounds like you don't want to be this way?

    I feel used unless I cuddle after wards. I want to feel more than just the sex and then slam bam thank you! I think this is why I can't do the FWB or the FB! lol, most likely, yeah.

    Have you talked to the men your having sex with about this? Maybe talking to them would help out too.
     
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