Awkwardness around my partners parents.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by OldTop55, Feb 18, 2012.

  1. OldTop55

    OldTop55 New Member

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    I am 55 and have got involed with a family freinds 18 year old son. He started to confide in me about being curious and moved in with me. Its something his parents have begrudgingly accepted. I just really feel awkward around them when I am at thier place. Just wondering af anyone has had a similar expereince. I think I am feeling some guilt over alot of what has gone on since he moved in with me.
     
    #1 OldTop55, Feb 18, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2012
  2. D_Amadeus_Mofart

    D_Amadeus_Mofart Account Disabled

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    I feel like very few people will be able to relate to such situation.

    If it is in fact true, you may want to sit down with parents and discuss.
     
  3. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    A) He's the son of a family friend. B) You're practically old enough to be his grandfather. C) This relationship is unlikely to be long-lasting. I'd maintain a low profile if I were you.
     
  4. Unnamed

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    Find a new partner.
     
  5. OldTop55

    OldTop55 New Member

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    I am just having some regrets letting him move in. I am afraid his parents are going to end up blaming me for the choices he has made the past couple of months.
     
  6. nudeyorker

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    I'm rarely at a loss for words but I am at the moment. I think the only chance you have of salvaging anything here is to talk very honestly with everyone involved and I think he needs to move out.
     
  7. monel

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    I think it's not surprising that you feel awkward around his parents. You overstepped your bounds and, to some degree, betrayed your relationship with them. Whether they "blame" you for bis choices is immaterial. They will certainly bold you accountable for yours. If I were to bet, I'd suggest that your relationship with your friends will never be the same regardless of what happens between you and their son.

    By the way, what would have stopped you from just being there for the kid during this period in his life instead of taking him as a lover? Seems pretty selfish to me.
     
  8. erratic

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    Dude.

    There is sweet fuck all you can do about feeling awkward around your friends, whose son you're fucking. Even if he were 35, it'd still be fucking awkward, and there would be fuck all you could do about it. But he's not 35. He's barely out of high school.

    I'm not going to stand here and judge on you for who you're doing. You're both adults, and I assume you're treating each other with respect, so whatever. But your 55 years on this earth dwarfs his 18. You are the one who is expected to be mature in that situation. You are the one on whom the burden of proof rests for why the two of you are together. You are the one who is expected to justify why you should be together. I'm not saying all 18 year-olds are stupid and powerless, and I'm not saying all 55 year-olds are all smart and powerful; however, he's been an adult for a matter of months (if that), and you've got decades of experience. That's a fact.

    You're going to have to account for it. It's going to be awkward. The best you can do is what's best for the young man in question. I would advise you to think very seriously about that. About what's best for him.

    A side note: You asked for people to check in if they've been in similar situations. I have not. The closest examples I can think of are friends who got into relationships where the spread was early 20s to late 40s. But in my experience, there's a huge, huge difference in maturity between being 18 and even just 21.
     
    #8 erratic, Feb 18, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2012
  9. MickeyLee

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    ya lack the maturity to be a legitimate Mentor figure.
    he needs to move out.

    ya have also put yaself in a position to be partially responsible for the choices he is making right now. at 55 years of age, if ya care about this kid, ya should be doing ya best to offer him advice and guidance. if ya fail/fall short.. is on you, dude.

    grow up.
     
    #9 MickeyLee, Feb 18, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2012
  10. traveljoe5

    traveljoe5 New Member

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    cant believe what I am reading here. if you two have got together, and you have love for each other, then, whats the problem??? let it take its course, and not be judgemental about somebody else,s feeling
     
  11. monel

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    Doesn't sound like love to me.
     
  12. august86

    august86 Member

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    It's unlikely that the kid even knows what love is or what real life is like.

    <<-- this

    This situation goes beyond just awkward. The age gap is so large that it's hard to fathom.
    I wouldn't be surprised if the parents think that you've stayed friends with them so that you could wait for their child to reach the legal age. And, on the outside looking in, this is how it would seem.

    Your needs and life paths are vastly different because you're at different stages in your lives. He should be concerned about college, socialising with peers, careers and a future.
    When you're in a relationship, your involvement/being a party to it means that in some way or another you will influence each other's decision-making, so it's hard to say that decisions he makes will not be because he's considering you and your feelings.

    Being a mentor and providing guidance are great things to do for him, but not from your bed and not while living in your house.
     
    #12 august86, Feb 18, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2012
  13. Incocknito

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  14. Mogluver

    Mogluver Member

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    Ask your self this real simple question: Do you want to raise someone?
     
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