I have a question that's come up with a friend of mine, and thought I'd put it out here on LPSG. BTW, it is actually about a friend, even though I know you're all going to think it's about me because when questions are for a friend, they are usually for the poster. But for real, this is about a friend, so there's no need to send me PMs offering condolences about my divorce or whisper to each other about who is getting custody of the baby. Really.
Anyway--
A friend of mine has been seeing/talking to someone now for about a year, and it's gone generally really well from everything I've heard. Of course there were hiccups, but that's to be expected and it never sounded like anything out of the ordinary. They met online and haven't met in person. He's living abroad and she's in nursing school year-round and both of them have had very little money. Regardless of that, it seemed to be fairly serious and they talked online 3-4 times a day, emailed all the time, and talked on the phone a lot. From my perspective, they were pretty serious, albeit separated by circumstances.
Now, a year later, the phone calls have stopped, the email has tapered off, and he's rarely online to chat anymore. She's asked him about it repeatedly, and he always shrugs it off and says he's extremely busy with school, which is altogether possible. She, of course, has been really upset and has asked me if she should just take this recent behavior to mean it's over or take him at his word and wait for things to get better.
I have no idea what to say to her. I've never been in a long distance relationship, nor have I been in a situation where I've been left hanging like this.
So this is both a general and a specific question-- first, how have you known it was over in your relationships, and second, can any of you give me some sage wisdom about how to help my friend?
Oh, and by the way, this friend is not mercurialbliss or No_Strings, so calm down about that too. They are fine. :biggrin1: In fact, seeing them, a similar relationship in some way, work things out against many odds makes things even more confusing since I know the situations are similar in some ways, but not all.
Anyway--
A friend of mine has been seeing/talking to someone now for about a year, and it's gone generally really well from everything I've heard. Of course there were hiccups, but that's to be expected and it never sounded like anything out of the ordinary. They met online and haven't met in person. He's living abroad and she's in nursing school year-round and both of them have had very little money. Regardless of that, it seemed to be fairly serious and they talked online 3-4 times a day, emailed all the time, and talked on the phone a lot. From my perspective, they were pretty serious, albeit separated by circumstances.
Now, a year later, the phone calls have stopped, the email has tapered off, and he's rarely online to chat anymore. She's asked him about it repeatedly, and he always shrugs it off and says he's extremely busy with school, which is altogether possible. She, of course, has been really upset and has asked me if she should just take this recent behavior to mean it's over or take him at his word and wait for things to get better.
I have no idea what to say to her. I've never been in a long distance relationship, nor have I been in a situation where I've been left hanging like this.
So this is both a general and a specific question-- first, how have you known it was over in your relationships, and second, can any of you give me some sage wisdom about how to help my friend?
Oh, and by the way, this friend is not mercurialbliss or No_Strings, so calm down about that too. They are fine. :biggrin1: In fact, seeing them, a similar relationship in some way, work things out against many odds makes things even more confusing since I know the situations are similar in some ways, but not all.
