The foreign legion are wandering lost in the desert (their navigator ran off and joined the circus) and are getting pretty delirious. They need water, food and shelter Suddenly Henri spots an oasis and the lads rush to it thinking their luck's in...unfortunately it's a mirage and they carry on trying to find their base. Jacques spots an oasis a day later and this turns out to be a mirage, then an hour later Phillippe spots an oasis and this turns out to be a mirage. On the verge of giving up, Henri spots a bacon tree in the distance. 'Zut alors mes amis, i ave spotted a bacon tree!' shouts Henri 'Surely not, zat must be a miraaage' replies Jacques They get closer and closer and it's still a bacon tree. 50 foot, 40 foot, 30 foot and still a bacon tree. They get to 10 foot away and all of a sudden shots ring out from everywhere. Phillippe's head gets blown apart, Hneri gets hit in the leg and a dying Jacques shouts 'I told you, zat is not a bacon tree zat is an ham bush!'