1. Dr. Algonquin

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    Is there a key to success when making a personal ad?

    I've tried a sexually themed ad. I've tried a G-rated ad. I've tried a mix of the two. Tried being funny, honest, brief, detailed. I've tried everything I could think of. I message guys whose ad or pics interests me and encourage guys to message me. I at least respond even if I'm get a message from a guy who's not my type.

    No matter what kind of ad I make or what pictures I include or what I do I get very few responses. And maybe one that actually leads to even a single IM conversation.

    Am I doing somethign wrong or is it just hopeless?
     
  2. D_Jerry_Atric

    D_Jerry_Atric Account Disabled

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    Where are you placing your ads?

    I've put them on Craigslist just looking for men to date and IME there's WAAAAY too much sketchiness, whores/prostitutes, anonymity, pic collectors, liars, hardcore drug addicts, bug chasers/barebackers/people into PNP (people into having sex with random partners unprotected while on meth), and other such crap I'd rather not put up with.

    I'm on other sites and some of those are OK but I meet guys who I'm compatible with but they live halfway across the country or a few states away, and the local guys are mainly flakey or just looking to hook up and do the hump and dump. Or else guys will just want to constantly chat/IM/email you but then never want to meet even if you do live close by to each other. Then there are men who I'm totally not interested in at all and I tell them no thanks and they don't take no for an answer and I just wind up blocking them and deleting their messages without even reading or replying to them.

    I've met other men online who act like they want to be friends but then some of them wind up going crazy and lie about stuff that it is obvious that they are lying about and wouldn't even make good friends since they're just so sketchy and flakey.

    Then there are men online who just want attention from you to the point where it's nauseating, and it gets tiresome and annoying and it's like being in a bar and being hit on by the agressive guy who can't take no for an answer.

    While I have dated and had relationships with men who I met online there have been very few and we were either introduced by friends or we met on a site that was not totally all about just sex.

    I've found a lot of liars, flakes, and just nutjobs online like this crazy whackjob I took out for coffee who wanted to tie me up and then when I said no way and just left he got offended and pissed off that I did not want to have sex with him.

    There was this other guy I took out for coffee and I was thinking about doing SM to him but I said how I wanted to meet first and he wanted to do W/S in the bathroom of a small starbucks. No thanks. There's a time and a place for that and it's not there and it's not with you.

    Back when I thought that I could be attracted to femme/nelly men I dated a femmey guy and he wound up being crazy and after sex when he got whiney and sounded like Truman Capote and talked about interior design and his house I just wanted to leave since it was a major turn off. Also he was in his early 40s and wanted me to apply to/work at the same job that he did and I said how even if we had not slept together I would not do that at all and he didn't understand at all just why this is a bad idea. I'm glad he's a learning experience now and no longer in my life. She was a total flake and I can see how even now why she's still single and just a doormat that people walk all over and why her friends and ex partners just fizzle out. Yeah he's a camp queen and I have friends who are femme but they do not do it for attention like this guy does.

    I prefer meeting people in real life but I realize that not every place has a gay/GLBT bar and that gay/GLBT bars do get boring after awhile. I've even men men in public who I wound up dating but I have excellent gaydar/bidar and I can tell when a guy is interested in me.

    Right now I'm single and not dating any men/women and I've been celibate for awhile too and I'm OK with it.
     
  3. D_Jerry_Atric

    D_Jerry_Atric Account Disabled

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    Another BIG pet peeve of mine with sites are guys who will ask you questions about yourself and I've either already answered them for them the last time we chatted or else the answers are in my profile that they did not bother to read.

    A friend of mine met a few of the men he dated and his eventual husband while being in sports leauges for bisexual/gay men and sex/dating was not the main agenda for getting together but friendship was, and I'm sure there was some flirting going on but it's not like it is in a bar/club with all of the cruising and all that as I've been involved with all queer male social groups like this when I lived in a rural area in the middle of nowhere.
     
  4. Dr. Algonquin

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    I've tried quite a few sites. Manhunt and Adam4Adam seem to be the ones with the best selection of guys in my area. But no matter what I write or what pictures I show I get almost no responses and the few I get don't really show any interest. I just can't figure out if I'm doing something wrong or it's just me.
     
  5. B_CoffeeWithCream

    B_CoffeeWithCream New Member

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    dr-Are u looking for a relationship and dating? Manhunt and Adam4Adam are all about sex and hook ups. The worst are the guys who say that they are HIV neg but then they bareback with everyone or post 'HIV neg LQQKING 4 bareback only ddf u b2!' The really stupid ones will say that they do not bareback at all on one site and then you go on another site and they are on it with the same name and they are looking for bareback sex.
     
  6. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Let's see the ad. Maybe it does suck or maybe it's great. We can't know otherwise.

     
  7. Dr. Algonquin

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    Like I said I've redone it a bunch of times so unless I could remember exactly what I've written before I can't show them. I was hoping for some general advice on what makes a good personal ad. The only one I have online currently is on manhunt which basically just says I'm looking friends and has a few face pics.

    I know manhunt and adam4adam are mostly sex centered but even when I post ads focused on sex and nude pics I get the same lack of response. And I have tried ads on other sites like match.com, yahoo personals, etc with the same results.
     
  8. B_CoffeeWithCream

    B_CoffeeWithCream New Member

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    Dr-Since ur bisexual do u date women at all or sleep with them? A good ad is one that tells people what you like and do not like and tells people about yourself and what you are looking for and not looking for.
     
  9. Dr. Algonquin

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    I've haven't been with a woman in a long while or attempted to be. The one relationship I've had so far was with a girl but that was years ago. I'd like to have at least one relationship with a guy before considering dating a girl again but I haven't really had an opportunity for either anyway.
     
  10. auto90403

    auto90403 Member

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    Start by collecting ads that you think also describe you and what you're seeking and then tweak them to meet your personal specifications/circumstances.
     
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