nicenycdick
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bad boy vs nice guy.
- Thread starter iwishiwasbigger
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Women that are into the bad boy mystique love nice guys. Nice guys provide emotional support, personal validation, and provide a bridge until the next bad boy shows up and uses them as a door mat. Then the death spiral begins anew.
I cut these personality types loose pretty quick. One or two times constitute a mistake/poor judgment. Anything greater than that is a pattern and I refuse to become their emotional tampon.
I cut these personality types loose pretty quick. One or two times constitute a mistake/poor judgment. Anything greater than that is a pattern and I refuse to become their emotional tampon.
largeornot
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bottom line is because most people are dumb.... these types of people are mostly influenced by their animal instinct side rather than their logical and conscious side....
this changes though when these people mature... so you can call it immaturity in other words...
this changes though when these people mature... so you can call it immaturity in other words...
rob_just_rob
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Most men who call themselves "nice guys" are mischaracterizing themselves. Often, the guy who sees himself as a "nice guy" is boring, lacking in self-confidence, bitter (usually about what he perceives as women not giving him a chance) and/or needy.
It's much easier to bemoan the fact that women mysteriously avoid "nice" men, than it is to face up to the things about yourself that turn women off.
The first step to being successful with women is finding a different way to characterize yourself. Anything short of "the date rapist guy" is better.
It's much easier to bemoan the fact that women mysteriously avoid "nice" men, than it is to face up to the things about yourself that turn women off.
The first step to being successful with women is finding a different way to characterize yourself. Anything short of "the date rapist guy" is better.
some women, not all, are attracted to whole rebellious asshole thing. i speak from experience cause went through a "bad boy" thing and it was the worst experience of my life. NEVER AGAIN!!!
the women who are attracted to bad boys see them as tough, rugged, and carefree. bad boys have this sought-after fantasy life that women go nuts for and they feel like they can just let go with him. but it's really just an illusion cause when you're head over heels for someone you're blinded by what's happening. sooner or later the cheating comes along, then the lying, then the heart break, and in the end it's only the emotional scars that remain.
so i don't ever doubt that there's no hope for the nice guys. i know they are out there because i found myself a nice guy. and not only is he nice, but he's the greatest guy i have ever met and the best thing to happen to me. he's the boyfriend that every woman dreams about... romantic, thoughtful, doesn't care about my flaws, gets along with my family and friends, doesn't treat me like crap, accepts my quirks, is extremely sexual, and he loves me for me.
and it's true when people say nice guys finish last. it's because he makes ME cum first :tongue: THAT'S WHY!
the women who are attracted to bad boys see them as tough, rugged, and carefree. bad boys have this sought-after fantasy life that women go nuts for and they feel like they can just let go with him. but it's really just an illusion cause when you're head over heels for someone you're blinded by what's happening. sooner or later the cheating comes along, then the lying, then the heart break, and in the end it's only the emotional scars that remain.
so i don't ever doubt that there's no hope for the nice guys. i know they are out there because i found myself a nice guy. and not only is he nice, but he's the greatest guy i have ever met and the best thing to happen to me. he's the boyfriend that every woman dreams about... romantic, thoughtful, doesn't care about my flaws, gets along with my family and friends, doesn't treat me like crap, accepts my quirks, is extremely sexual, and he loves me for me.
and it's true when people say nice guys finish last. it's because he makes ME cum first :tongue: THAT'S WHY!
This is fair, I can see where you get this. I am not that way. (I hope.) I did enjoy bad girls at one time but that was in my teens. I have been with six woman in the past eight years and none of them, sadly, treated me very well. They did drugs, had no desire for anything more than sex, lied, one turned out to me engaged, They all turned out to be "bad' but not in the fun leather pants rock your world way. Sorry, you got me thinking about relationships of the past, got off the subject a bit. The ones that show no intrests are the ones that do not give me the chance, or get to know me. Then I hear how they are dateing Joe losser and how mistreated they are. What the F!:boggled:
wonderland
Experimental Member
I have gone for the bad boy a few times. But I go for the good guy the vast majority of the time. But I am older and wiser now.
Says some hot guy with all that women want who would not understand!
This girl I'm talking to, she sort of drifts away from me. She likes me alot because I'm really sweet. But I find that if I do something mean or asshole-ish to her, she comes back full force wanting me and calling me and all that stuff. Just because I told her I didn't feel like talking to her or something like that.
She likes me for being sweet but if im mean to her she likes me even more. Stupid huh? I was mean by accident once, and i saw the results. Now I can be mean for whatever reason and it sparks her up. I can't get her to give up some time to see me, but when i ignore her and tell her I don't feel like talkin, she comes and has sex with me. If i was nice about everything I would absolutely never see this chick. I don't like to do that shit but I really think I am going to end the whole thing with her anyways.
why should i have to be an ass to get a good response? Its not because I'm "bitter" at what women want or whatever. I just think its stupid, and that women should be able to think for themselves by now.
Enid
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Kasso you may feel bad for treating that girl like trash, but who's fault is it, you for treating her like trash or her accepting this behaviour as attractive. Personally I think a lot of women out there need years of therapy because this behavior is totally bizarro. Like the expression - "All is fair in love and war" and the first rule of war is getting into your enemy's head. I think nice guys need stop bitching and maybe play to female psychology to even the playing field in their favor. If that means treating a woman like trash because she associates that behaviour with being attractive and masculine so be it. The truth of the matter is until women change this stupid behaviour and decide this is unattractive in men, it will never go away.
Enid
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To the OP:
Some have mentioned that confidence is attractive, and I do believe this to be true. There is a difference though in the type of confidence exuded by a bad boy and a nice boy. The difference reminds me of Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics which actually influenced the Goldilocks story. It suggests that with any situation or decision in life there are 2 extreme choices and one moderate one. Hot, cold or lukewarm. Aggressive, passive or assertive. The nice boy will take the assertive route and the bad boy will take the aggressive route.
I have never been attracted to out-and-out aggression.
Some have mentioned that confidence is attractive, and I do believe this to be true. There is a difference though in the type of confidence exuded by a bad boy and a nice boy. The difference reminds me of Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics which actually influenced the Goldilocks story. It suggests that with any situation or decision in life there are 2 extreme choices and one moderate one. Hot, cold or lukewarm. Aggressive, passive or assertive. The nice boy will take the assertive route and the bad boy will take the aggressive route.
I have never been attracted to out-and-out aggression.
I noticed that many girls, especially younger ones, are conditioned to want to please men. I mean it is like their goal to make sure their boyfriend is happy. They just learned that to keep a guy they have to keep him happy. And they feel like a failure and it's their fault if the guy leaves them.
So in your situation, when you are nice she has nothing to do. But when you are mean and upset, then she springs to life and that inner drive to make you happy comes out. I guess it's kind of analogous to a customer being upset and the store putting more effort into making that customer happy to keep them.
So the "bad boy" gives women a goal and a challenge. It also has to do with their ego. They don't want to believe that they can't keep the man. A nice guy is easy to keep so he's not a challenge.
i read the first 2 posts from women and i have an idea to prove this theory..
read all the womens posts(i didnt)but they all prob say the same thing.......they are saying in other ways they dont like dickheads/assholes. this is true no human being should deal with assholes.
but when girls say they dont like a bad boy, they are fooling themselfs. a badboy and asshole are 2 compelte diff things. girls just wont admit likeing the badboy.
read all the womens posts(i didnt)but they all prob say the same thing.......they are saying in other ways they dont like dickheads/assholes. this is true no human being should deal with assholes.
but when girls say they dont like a bad boy, they are fooling themselfs. a badboy and asshole are 2 compelte diff things. girls just wont admit likeing the badboy.
D_Fiona_Farvel
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I do not like bad boys, I just do not want a pussy, there's a difference.
I like a masculine man that is confident, respectful, loving, shows me how much I mean to him, can make me feel protected, will defend me (in a fight if necessary), knows how to be open with his emotions, mature, and knows when to be aggressive.
It is a combination of traits, none are exclusive to bad boy or nice guy--they're just what the right guy for me should have.
I like a masculine man that is confident, respectful, loving, shows me how much I mean to him, can make me feel protected, will defend me (in a fight if necessary), knows how to be open with his emotions, mature, and knows when to be aggressive.
It is a combination of traits, none are exclusive to bad boy or nice guy--they're just what the right guy for me should have.
Enid
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AskMen.com - Bad boy image
Seems like a bad boy is generally considered a jerk. The article above attributes it to confidence (regarding the question of why women are attracted to bad boys), but I do think there's a definite difference between positive and negative expressions of confidence.
I've never been attracted to a jerk.
Seems like a bad boy is generally considered a jerk. The article above attributes it to confidence (regarding the question of why women are attracted to bad boys), but I do think there's a definite difference between positive and negative expressions of confidence.
I've never been attracted to a jerk.
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quote "and it's true when people say nice guys finish last. it's because he makes ME cum first :tongue: THAT'S WHY!"
Nicely said, Stacy. First and last :biggrin1:
P
Nicely said, Stacy. First and last :biggrin1:
P
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Welcome to the blame game ladies and gentlmen! My advice is to quit looking for the key and just pick the fucking lock. :tongue:
I presonally have never really thought of "bad boy" as being a jerk. I always think of it like James Bond. He has no problem fucking your shit up, but he never does it for no reason. Like world domination for example. That's very fantasy though. I really don't associate any real person with the term bad boy. Actually I can't say I even really use the term all that much. Since it is very womany. :tongue: Bad ass is close enough. Which is why I don't think of them being a jerk. James Bond doesn't go around beating women and children, he saves the world, and that is awesome. I can think of a lot of other characters I consider bad ass in one way or the another, Big Boss comes to mind. None of which are real!
Also: http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d65/ChurchIRC/Motivate/1193700798726.jpg
I presonally have never really thought of "bad boy" as being a jerk. I always think of it like James Bond. He has no problem fucking your shit up, but he never does it for no reason. Like world domination for example. That's very fantasy though. I really don't associate any real person with the term bad boy. Actually I can't say I even really use the term all that much. Since it is very womany. :tongue: Bad ass is close enough. Which is why I don't think of them being a jerk. James Bond doesn't go around beating women and children, he saves the world, and that is awesome. I can think of a lot of other characters I consider bad ass in one way or the another, Big Boss comes to mind. None of which are real!
Also: http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d65/ChurchIRC/Motivate/1193700798726.jpg
I can tell you as a former nice guy, most of us start out nice, but you can only be dicked around for so long by women until you realize the ones they go for are the jerks. Then once you become a jerk, and actually see how much better off you are with the opposite sex, well it's all downhill from there.
Sure, there are natural born assholes, but most asshole are made. Men react to what women want. More women should start dating nice guys to reverse that trend, or just buck up and deal with the situation.
Also, now that the sexes are equal (or at least should be seen as equal), chivalry has gone out the window for most. If we are supposedly equal, why in the hell should I go out of my way to give preferential treatment to women?
The age of the gentleman and nice guy are long over. It's time women got with the 21st century.
Sure, there are natural born assholes, but most asshole are made. Men react to what women want. More women should start dating nice guys to reverse that trend, or just buck up and deal with the situation.
Also, now that the sexes are equal (or at least should be seen as equal), chivalry has gone out the window for most. If we are supposedly equal, why in the hell should I go out of my way to give preferential treatment to women?
The age of the gentleman and nice guy are long over. It's time women got with the 21st century.
