Naughty's thread reminded me of this. I have long had a theory that bad break-ups cause more depression, violence, and stalkers than anything else. When people grieve a dead person, at some point they grasp the concept that the other person is gone forever. They learn to hold onto the good memories, they let go and move on. Some of you dump a person in the most circuitous and cowardly of fashions. There is no closure for the dumpee. They don't understand why after 6 months, 8 months, a year or even 5 years you just leave a perfectly good and happy relationship. This is directed only at the men, (because women already know better): NEVER, EVER Break up with a woman via e-mail, IM, or text message! What I want to know from everyone is this: When you break up with a person, how do you do it? Do you have a standard technique? Does the technique vary depending on certain variables, such as duration of relationship, cheating (by either of you), or something else. Do you plan the break up or do you just blurt it out over the dinner one night at home? Bad Breakups Cause DepressionLosses that involve lower self-esteem are more likely to lead to depression than a loss such as a death of a loved one. By:Willow Lawson Stressful events that involve both grief and humiliation, such as messy romantic breakups, are linked to a higher risk of major depression than "merely" painful events, such as the death of a loved one, according to a study. Researchers at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, Virginia, interviewed some 7,000 male and female twins as part of the university's Mid-Atlantic Twin Registry. The subjects ranged in age from 20 to 60 years old. Scientists analyzed subjects' stressful life events to determine which were linked to episodes of depression and anxiety. Researchers found losses that involved lower self-esteem were twice as likely to trigger depression as ones that involved loss alone. This was particularly true of breakups that were initiated by the other partner or that involved infidelity or violence. "The most toxic combination was loss and humiliation that in some way directly devalued the individual," says Kenneth S. Kendler, professor of psychiatry and lead author of the study. The study was published in the Archives of General Psychiatry. This content is Copyright Sussex Publishers, LLC. 2006. This content is intended for personal use and may not be distributed or reproduced without the consent of Sussex Publishers, LLC. Please contact firstname.lastname@example.org for more information. Publication: Psychology Today MagazineLast Reviewed: 10 Apr 2007 (Document ID: 3199). The opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference. When you hate you still have some feeling left; but when you reach indifference, that's when it is really over.