Bad Break Ups Often Lead to Depression and Stalkers

Ethyl

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You were with him 9 months and didn't know where he lived? I would have been worried about a person I had been seeing that long and tried to find out if something bad had happened to them. If you weren't able to because you didn't have any good contact information for him 9 months into the relationship, I'd say that's a good sign he was emotionally unavailable.

Is it really necessary to shame someone about how they handled the relationship after the fact? People make mistakes and oversights in relationships all the time - haven't you?
 

Principessa

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Is it really necessary to shame someone about how they handled the relationship after the fact? People make mistakes and oversights in relationships all the time - haven't you?
I was thinking that as well. I don't understand people who have never made a bad choice in a relationship. Sounds like they are being overly cautious.
 

goodwood

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By the time I break up with a woman, she has known it has been coming for awhile. This is not a surprise when I break up with them beacause I am very communicative with the women I am with about our relationship while IN the relationship.
However I never cease to be amazed and dumbfounded when women start schizing out and I tell them they need to knock it off and then the schizing out escalates!
So finally I tell them that after countless warnings and asking them to stop and they don't and so I say "goodbye then. We are done. It's over." I would prefer to do this in person but by the time the end comes, they KNOW the end is near and refuse to meet me in person so it always ends up being over the phone. Hey - their decision not mine.
I have been stalked by an ex. After I broke upwith her, she said she wanted to talk and would come over. But I was at a friend's house and my house was not locked and she got to my house before I did and was naked in my bed.
I thought I would have been a bad host if I told her to put her clothes on and leave, so I took mine off and got in bed. We had amazing sex and I told her to leave, it really was over and done and that if she kept bothering me, I would have a restraining order and enforce it. So that was that.
I find women who have behaved badly, cowardly or worse know they are going to broken up with and wish they would have behaved otherwise, but just couldn't bring themselves to behave well even with countless chances by an understanding guy and when it gets to that point, DONE. No more.
And Patsy - you can beat my ass if you want, but I did end a year long relationship by text from a woman who was very abusive to me, inconsiderate and out of control. After she refused to meet in person, refused to speak on the phone and kept sending acidic, nasty texts, I sent her a text and said "It's over.". So hey - if it gets to such a point, women (or men for that matter) may want to think about how they are behaving.
So that is my two cents.
 

Principessa

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And njqt466 -you can beat my ass if you want, Yeah, but if you enjoy it, then it's not a punishment! :rolleyes: :wink: but I did end a year long relationship by text from a woman who was very abusive to me, inconsiderate and out of control. After she refused to meet in person, refused to speak on the phone and kept sending acidic, nasty texts, I sent her a text and said "It's over.". So hey - if it gets to such a point, women (or men for that matter) may want to think about how they are behaving. So that is my two cents.
Okay, I can make exceptions, especially since you tried to break up in a more traditional fashion. You seem to have hooked up with a looney tune. Do you do that often?

Actually I was referring to my ex-bf who broke up with me via e-mail after 12 years. He didn't call me, he was just chicken shit.
 

goodwood

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WOW. TWELVE years and an e-mail? What a piece of shit.
Me hooking up with looney toons? Yup. Every time, every time.
The hot ones are always the craziest. Actually, did almost marry a not super hot one, but she was a nut case too. I will post that pic in my gallery.
 

joybunny

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  1. When you break up with a person, how do you do it?
    If it's a serious relationship, I tell them. If it's not, I might not.
  2. Do you have a standard technique?
    No. I usually just tell them the truth. I try not to get too emotional (crying, etc.) but it's hard.
  3. Does the technique vary depending on certain variables, such as duration of relationship, cheating (by either of you), or something else.
    Yes. If it's a casual relationship, then it most likely ends with no real explanation. If it's a deeper relationship, then I try to end it amicably if possible. I don't like making stalkers or enemies. Life's hard enough as it is!
  4. Do you plan the break up or do you just blurt it out over the dinner one night at home?
    Not really. I can pretty much tell when the relationship is tanking. I try to be fair but it's hard. Especially when I'm feeling hurt.
I recently ended a relationship with someone. We were friends for a couple of years before things escalated. He was divorced and very emotional about it. In addition, it was my first time to date someone outside of my race and both of us had friends that were less than supportive.

He started acting strange after we had sex. I guess I should have know something was up when he went to sleep in a fetal position. Afterwards, he ask me probing questions if I hadn't called in a couple of days. I just chalked it up to him feeling vulnerable. I did try asking how he wanted us to be and even told him that I wanted him but I never got a straight answer.

Even though we still talked on a regular basis he made excuses about getting together. In addition, he began to repeatedly ask about how I was doing even I hadn't given him any reason to. I really hate being given the hot and cold treatment so eventually, I got really frustrated and just stopped talking to him.

I still care for him but I could stay in a relationship that seemed to have no direction. I know I was wrong for not telling him why but I was really hurt by his behavior.
 

jnp

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I had this situation where my gf that I broke up with refused to break up lol. I know this sounds crazy, but she went on for weeks like we were still going out and stuff, only not arounbd me, but to others, etc. She did harass me on the phone, etc, until she finally layed off. I sorta felt bad after that...
 

B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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Is it really necessary to shame someone about how they handled the relationship after the fact? People make mistakes and oversights in relationships all the time - haven't you?

Who said anything about shame? I clearly stated that if I had been involved with someone that long I would have been concerned about their well-being if suddenly and without warning they "dropped off the face of the earth." I would have gone by their house or place of employment to try and confirm that they hadn't been murdered or killed in a car accident. Doesn't that seem perfectly reasonable for someone you've been seeing for nine months and had just gone out with the night before when there was no sign that something was wrong?
 

Principessa

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She got that from Seinfeld. Susan refused George's breakup and a year later they were engaged. :tongue::rolleyes:

I had this situation where my gf that I broke up with refused to break up lol. I know this sounds crazy, but she went on for weeks like we were still going out and stuff, only not arounbd me, but to others, etc. She did harass me on the phone, etc, until she finally layed off. I sorta felt bad after that...
 

Ethyl

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Who said anything about shame? I clearly stated that if I had been involved with someone that long I would have been concerned about their well-being if suddenly and without warning they "dropped off the face of the earth." I would have gone by their house or place of employment to try and confirm that they hadn't been murdered or killed in a car accident. Doesn't that seem perfectly reasonable for someone you've been seeing for nine months and had just gone out with the night before when there was no sign that something was wrong?

Yes, it is perfectly reasonable. Hindsight often shows us what we did not pay attention to earlier and when you make an example of someone's mistake(s) in a former relationship, it's pointless and makes the other person feel like foolish when all they did was make an honest mistake. We're all prone to it no matter how smart we think we are about relationships..
 

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She got that from Seinfeld. Susan refused George's breakup and a year later they were engaged. :tongue::rolleyes:


That is the limerant behavior one saw in Fatal Attraction and in Dream Girls. The only difference is that the woman in Dreams Girls took the hint because she had no choice.