Bad Form

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by goodwood, Jun 9, 2008.

  1. goodwood

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    SO - in Michigan this past weekend there were very bad storms - windbursts, tornadoes (?), heavy rains and flooding. 8 people were killed locally from the storms.
    My last serious ex who is out of state kept texting, calling the house and cell, having our mutual friends call me to see if I was all right. Of course I was all right.
    Perfectly fine. I felt no need to report back to a woman who knew I would not contact her. I was able to catch up with a couple of friends of ours who duly reported back that I was unscated from the severe weather, but was socially very active, fine and dating up a storm as usual. Then my ex texted me to say that it was very bad form on my part to ignore her concern for me.
    I think "WTF-ever". Thoughts if you care to proffer them would be welcome. Thanks.
     
  2. cajun boy 8x6

    cajun boy 8x6 Member

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    if shes an EX well then she should leave you the hell alone , and move on, theres ways of showing human concern without looking like an ASS , surely you know the same people she could have asked without contacting you, that could put her mind at ease,so she can move on to the next victim, i mean relationship
     
  3. goodwood

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    Cajun - LOL. Thanks. Its been nine months sine I called off the wedding, six months since she had to comply with the restraining order. There was no doubt that when it was over, it was over and I was serious. Its disappointing to have someone claim that they care about me yet behave so badly time and time again. Thanks for letting me know I was not out of line by maintaining my silence towards her.
     
  4. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    the pain behind your eyes
    Well, not to harp on you, but you could've just said to her real fast"Yeah, I'm fine". Be done with it. Even if you two are exes, she still had some concern about your well being, that's all. wasn't like you were still going out, right? I've had exes call my rooms when I was in the hospital just to make sure I didn't croak.

    All it really takes next time is just is to tell her you're fine and/or ok.
     
  5. Principessa

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    I'm with you, that's exactly what I thought.

    GoodWood on a slightly different note, if you had to get a restraining order against her; you should have changed your cell and home phone numbers; and instructed all mutual friends and acquaintances not to divulge your new info. From what you've mentioned in the past this is not someone you need in your life, even through a text message. :cool:
     
  6. goodwood

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    Thanks Chuck. Your approach did occur to me. If I knew I was able to simply say "I'm fine" and have that be that, I would have done so. She has been trying to get back with me ever since I ended it. The couple of times I did reply to her in the most brief and perfuntory responses simply encouraged her to continue to try to get back into my life and that is not acceptable. So that is why I have stuck with the absolute 'no contact' route, which i even told her would be the m.o. Sad, but true.
     
  7. goodwood

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    Thanks njq -
    Honestly (i am not exaggerating) hundreds of people have my numbers and are respectful of them. I haven't kept good records with international friends and business clients. To change my numbers would not be to my benefit. To have an occassionial headache from yet another crazy, stalker ex. Well, I should be used to this by now. Sigh. lol.
     
  8. cajun boy 8x6

    cajun boy 8x6 Member

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    try call block..
     
  9. yhtang

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    If you need a restraining order against her, it would be in bad form to appear to encourage contact by replying to her messages or responding to her in any manner or shape.
     
  10. sexplease

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    perhaps she's projecting her own "bad form."

    Isn't that term a quaint and little English bourgeois?
     
  11. B_Demention

    B_Demention New Member

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    From what I've read of your posts, this ex of yours is a real bother, goodwood. I know what that's like - you feel kind of stupid because you're the guy and you're supposed to know how to handle it or be able to brush it off, but it's nowhere near that easy. My ex was a nightmare and would get drunk with her friends, then camp out on my front steps late at night, trying to bash my door in, and leaving me slurred, abusive messages all the time. My biggest mistake was having illusions of my own grandeur afterwards though. Like I thought I was this really desirable guy when in actual fact, she'd just developed this bizarre and unhealthy attachment and needed some help. In any case, she seems like a bonafide pain in the ass and I'd say you don't owe her much of anything at all. You're well within your rights to have ignored the concern - if that's what it was.
     
  12. B_New End

    B_New End New Member

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    not bad form. Its bad form to contact someone who doesn't want to talk to you anymore or wants to get over you. Some people want everyone in the world to love them, no matter how badly they have treated them.
     
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