Bad girlfriend

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by pterodactyl, Mar 5, 2012.

  1. pterodactyl

    pterodactyl New Member

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    So last night I was texting my girlfriend. And she said I got good news and bad news. I said, ok tell me what is it.
    Well i'll kill two birds with one stone and use it in one text, You have the biggest dick out all of your friends.
     
  2. ShannonH

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  3. bobg4400

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    Lol funny. I prefer jokes that are subtle, like this one. I've never found that slapstick stuff funny at all.
     
    #3 bobg4400, Mar 5, 2012
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2012
  4. BUSTERHYMAN

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    4 bad things that happened to me today

    1) i caught my girlfriend cheating on me

    2) my girlfriend left me for a plumber

    3) my ex-girlfriend got hit by a bus on her way to her new boyfriends house

    4) i lost my bus driving license
     
  5. BUSTERHYMAN

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    My Blond girlfriend phoned me at work today.

    "Its so cold that my windows have frozen!" she shouted.

    "Calm down" I said "just spray some de-icer, that'll sort it."

    20 minutes later I called her back.

    "So has the de-icer worked?" I asked.

    "Not really" she said "when I used it there was a lot of smoke, a bang and now my computer won't turn on."
     
  6. pterodactyl

    pterodactyl New Member

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    I love those...haha..
     
  7. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    :biggrin:Heh. classic. Pretty good there, Bro.

    Well, now we know who'd take GF's adultery the best and worst......
     
  8. BUSTERHYMAN

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    Well my Fu#k!ng old lady just had a Child and the midwife asked me what it was to be called.

    "MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK," I said.

    "What?" she replied, "MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK?"

    "Yes," I returned.

    "Why?" she asked.

    "Well, because I'll have to go to bed every night, scared by the fact the little cunt could wake me up at any minute."
     
    #8 BUSTERHYMAN, Mar 9, 2012
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2012
  9. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

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    I like the one about the blonde gf and her windows....:rofl:

    (play nice Buster... play nice) :spank:
     
  10. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    Go ahead, you only posted a joke where you used a bus to hit your adulterous GF. all I did was point out how deranged it was.
     
    #10 MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK, Mar 9, 2012
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2012
  11. BUSTERHYMAN

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    M_CHUCK You do not have to point anything out to me....I am not hear to hurt you friend just to have a good time...Forgive if i did so my friend...Anything i say or do is just for fun....
     
  12. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    Going the route of the proofreader, I'm glad you're not here for that.
    And for the last time, there, BUSTERHYMAN, we-are-not-friends.

     
  13. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

    D_Kitten_Kaboodle Account Disabled

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    :popcorn:

    :argue: :twak: :smashfreakB:
    :slap: :aargh4: :rant: :cussing2:
    :kabong: :hitwithrock:

    You boys quit arguing and come over here and keep me happy :bukkake2:
     
  14. BUSTERHYMAN

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    He has not pushed me far enough yet -------But it may be coming soon
     
  15. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    Oh, I'll be there, momentarily, my darling FP.
    Better keep a defibrillator handy just in case one of us, uh, gets too appreciative.
     
  16. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

    D_Kitten_Kaboodle Account Disabled

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    Talk about a BAD GIRLFRIEND..... I have a full stock of defibrillators... "just in case" :tongue:
     
  17. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    Now, with your latest tank top gallery pics, i can believe that.
     
  18. BUSTERHYMAN

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    My new girlfriend FancyPants whipped out my prick for the first time today!

    FancyPants said "Where's the best place to rub?"

    I said "Probably not on this bus!"
     
  19. BUSTERHYMAN

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    Ladies, if you really in love with man, set him free.
    If the guy comes back he will be yours forever.

    If he doesn't, the new chick probably does anal.
     
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