BAD JOKES

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Imported, Feb 2, 2003.

  1. Imported

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    Finedessert: OK...I'll start

    What's the best thing about having sex with a homeless person......

    When your done.....

    You can drop them off anyplace.

    ;D ;D ;D ;D

    Grandpa
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Where can you find a whore with no arms and no legs?

    Right where you left her.

    Pecker
     
  3. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?

    Full.
     
  4. jay_too

    jay_too New Member

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    Pickup line...

    Ya know, my dick does the thinking.....How'd you like to blow my mind?

    jay
     
  5. Imported

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    aussiechick63: WOOHOO. I can do bad jokes, mine's even clean.

    2 cows standing in a paddock looking at each other.
    One cow says to the other cow" mooooo"
    The other cows says "shit I was going to say that"
     
  6. Imported

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    BiteSize: Here's an even worse one -- and it's just for you, Aussiechick.

    What do you call a snowstorm in Australia?




    The blizzard of Oz.
     
  7. johnstone1985

    johnstone1985 New Member

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    [quote author=bilbobagginsx link=board=99;num=1044214025;start=0#1 date=02/02/03 at 13:12:12]Where can you find a whore with no arms and no legs?

    Right where you left her.

    Pecker[/quote]

    What do you call a whore with no arms and no legs?

    Cash and Carry!
     
  8. Imported

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    sammygirly: Polar bear walks into a bar and sits on a barstool. Bartender asks..Can I help you?
    Polar Bear says, I'll have ............................ a beer.
    Bartender says, ok, but why the big pause?
     
  9. Imported

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    ORCABOMBER: That joke should be banned! :D
     
  10. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    A horse walks into a bar.

    The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

    Pecker
     
  11. jay_too

    jay_too New Member

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    So what's the difference between northern and southern zoos?

    Northern zoos list the common and scientific names of animals.......Southern zoos list the common names and give instructions on how to cook 'em.


    jay
     
  12. Imported

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    Finedessert: The old He said...She said.

    He said... Hmmm! If I were 2 inches longer I'd be a King.

    She said... OMG, If you were 2 inches shorter you'd be a Queen.

    Grandpa
     
  13. jonb

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    A seismologist announced that there would soon be an earthquake expected to be an 8 on the Richter scale. His wife didn't do anything. He asked her "Didn't you hear what I said?" She said "The last time you said something was an 8 it was really a 4."
     
  14. Imported

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    drrionelli: A termite walked into a pub and asked:

    "Is the bar tender here?"
     
  15. Imported

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    7x6andchg: Of course, the old jokes:

    A frog walks into a bank. He hops up to the nearest desk and puts a small trinket on the desk, which belongs to a woman named Patricia Wacke.

    "Can I help you?" Patricia asks.

    "Yes," says the frog, "I'd like a loan."

    "Well," says Patricia, "do you have any collateral?"

    "I have this," says the frog, pointing to the trinket.

    "Do you have any other collateral, any references?" asks Ms. Wacke.

    "Well," says the frog, "look at these lips...my family tree says that Mick Jagger and I are descended from the same genes wayyyy back from the beginning of time"

    Ms. Wacke is decidedly skeptical about giving the loan to this amphibian. She says, "Wait here, I'm going to have to get the manager."

    She walks behind the manager's office door and asks him to come to her desk. There she shows him the frog, the trinket, and explains that frog lists Mick Jagger as not only a reference, but as a family member.

    "I don't even know what this thing," she says, pointing to the trinket, "is..."

    The bank manager says, "It's a knick knack, Patty Wacke, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"

    Ok - I never said it was good.....

    7x6&c
     
  16. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    I asked for a pitcher full of beer.

    They sent me a drunk baseball player.

    Pecker
     
  17. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    I went to a seafood disco last night and pulled a mussel.

    Pecker
     
  18. jay_too

    jay_too New Member

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    How does a guy know his life is pathetic?

    When a nympho tells him, "Let's just be friends."

    jay
     
  19. Imported

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    chicago_girl: What do a coffin and a condom have in common?
    Both have stiffs in them but one is coming and one is going.
     
  20. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    That's the 'spirit'!

    Pecker
     
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