Bad News

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by mjack, Jan 26, 2005.

  1. mjack

    mjack New Member

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    The wife and I have been tyring to have kids for almost two years. Since we have been having problems, we went to see our family physician, who had me perform two sperm count tests. Although the count was ok, the number of normal vs abnormal sperm was not on both tests. After these results, we were referred to a fertility clinic. I had to have another sperm test done and was to find out the results at the clinic.

    We had our appointment about two weeks ago, and the news ended up not being good. My wife appears to be healthy as a horse, but what we discovered was that it may be next to impossible for us to be able to conceive. I discovered that my sperm test results were the reason. The doctor suggested that we consider other options, and well, we both have a lot to think about since all the options are really pricey.

    I am soo depressed and feel that I have really let down my wife even though there is nothing much I can do....


    Thanks for listening...

    mjack
     
  2. yaoifun

    yaoifun New Member

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    Im very sorry to hear that :( I know this may not be the option you are looking for, but consider adoption. My stepmother adopted a girl at birth (it was pre-arrranged as infants are hard to get a hold of for adoption) but they couldn't possibly be closer. She even says she forgets she is an adopted child (both say that) and are very happy. I hope this helps, even if it isnt your first choice.
     
  3. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Adoption is definitely the way to go.

    Two of my good friends, Frank and Linda, found that his little wigglers were deficient like yours and after years of trying they decided to adopt. They became the proud parents of an orphaned girl from Costa Rica.

    Then, bam!

    Linda got pregnant.

    Works every time! :lol:
     
  4. Nienna

    Nienna New Member

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    mjack, so sorry to hear of your distress.

    I would like to say that, if it is the problem of normal to abnormal ratio of spems you have. Perhaps you could look at invitro fetilization. They can pick out the normal ones and inject them into your wife, or directly into her eggs. This may cost more money than the good ol fasioned way, but if having "your" baby is that important to you, then it may be worth a try.

    But if all that seems to invasive/immperonal/unnatural for you, adoption is great. There are so many babies in other countires (and your own) who have no parents that would desperately want to be loved and cared for. And it takes a wonderful individual ( or couple) to take them in as thier own children and give them the the love and support they deserve.

    Whatever you and you wife do, I wish you the best of luck!
    Nienna
     
  5. mjack

    mjack New Member

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    Thanks all for the support it means a lot to me. I have not given up hope quite yet, as we still have a few more tests to go through. The fertility doctor mentioned Invitro, however the chance of success and the costs are not making this too practical. The success rate for the average male is 50%, for me its less than 30%. Also, we discovered that the cost is about $20,000 per try. Adoption sounds like a decent plan...its definately something we need to look at. I still have not given hope on natrual. The doctor put me on selenium, vit C, and Vit E. We will keep trying for a while, I just hope my wife does not lose hope yet.

    MJ

     
  6. Nienna

    Nienna New Member

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    Whatever happens mjack, I hope you end up with a happy healthy family.
     
  7. B_HungSpermBoy

    B_HungSpermBoy New Member

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  8. Imported

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    dickless: Many couples find that after they adopt (or after they stop trying) they are able to concieve ...maybe because all the stress and pressure is off. Have you thought about looking for ways to reduce stress in your life?
     
  9. Imported

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    Sashka: I'm sorry about your troubles... I got pregnant last year, by accident, it was extremely unlikely but happened anyway, and at the same time my aunt and her new husband were going through all sorts of tests and procedures and in vitro fertilization. We both ended up with a baby boy of our own, but looking at our pregnancies side by side it made me realize how very unfair the universe can be. Anyway, these days they can fertilize a wife's eggs even if they only find a couple of good sperm to work with, so don't give up hope, you'll get a baby one way or the other.

    ~Sashka
     
  10. Freddie53

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    If you can accept it, you might consider a sperm bank and use artificial insemination. Another choice is adopting a child from another country who is homeless. A child like that might bring much joy to your life.

    If you are willing to start with a three or four year old there are plenty of those around. Infants are hard to find. Sometimes, there is a pregnant girl who will let you adopt her child if you are willing to pay all the pregnancy costs. This last option is a bit tricky and you need a professional involved. But sometimes I have seen a childless couple be fortunate in knowing a girl who is considering abortion and is willing not to do it if there is someone ready to adopt the baby.


    Best of luck to you.

    I know it is a heart breaker

    Freddie
     
  11. bigtwin

    bigtwin Member

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    hey mjack, as the father of 3 I'm in a position to understand your desire for children. I sympathize with your plight; finding the right words to say is always tough. I will say this....work hard not to let your relationship suffer. This is a time when you and your wife should come together. Its the old "for better or worse" part of the vows. Don't think of it as "your failure" - you two have to be in this together. Few people know their reproductive status before marriage. Oh, and when you get around to investigating options, remember to check the Health Plan at yours and your wife's employer.

    Feel free to PM any time....
     
  12. Imported

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    jaime:
     
  13. RPM

    RPM New Member

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    Don't give up hope........and don't stress yourself.

    life style changes will be the key here...... and don't put yourself through any stress... take a break....go for a vacation or something.

    IVF and a lot of this unnatural ways of fertilisations tend to create multiple births, which can then be a bigger problem than its worth.
     
  14. txquis

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    Dont let the news allow you to give up hope.
    Stay relaxed, and positive about this situation, even though it is hard.
    My thoughts are with you and yours.
     
  15. Ineligible

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    That must have been a terrific shock, mjack. I'm very sorry - I know that adoption or using donor sperm won't seem the same - but when you have any child to look after, I'm sure you'll love him or her.
     
  16. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    It is pretty sad when people have problem conceiving...I have a couple of friends that are really trying and can not - I mean having several invetros done and several miscarriages...It is very sad and devestating...And then there are people like myself who really not ready or wanting to have kids that accidently gets a woman pregnant...I mean I remember dating this girl and I am really pretty careful about always using condoms but one time this particular girl was taking advantage of some morning wood while I was still asleep and before I could stop - bam - she was pregnant - damn pre-cum - I am a believer for those who don't think you can get someone pregnant w/pre-cum or thinking about the pull out method...Luckily we both realize that we were not going to be together - even though she wanted to - that we terminated the pregnancy...I see my friends and sometimes think about that...Good luck and I have known people who have been given a similar dianosis as yourself - adopted a child and then - bam - find out they are pregnant - what a wonderful surprise...
     
  17. D_Coyne Toss

    D_Coyne Toss New Member

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    Be strong, mate.

    Always remember that is not the sperm that makes a man, nor his fertility.

    It's what you have in your soul and in your heart: i'm sure that's what you wife loves in you, and thats' the reason she amrried you.

    Most important, never lose your hope, only God (or the fate, if you're not a believer) knows what expects us.

    Take care.
     
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