Bad sex - breakup?

Twistbarbie

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Sigh, dating nice enough guy, sex is not good (size DOES matter).
How do you end things on good terms when everything else seems to be going well except that. Feel shallow but shit, a good sex life is important to me.:frown1:
 

LaFemme

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Size doesn't really matter to me, but good sex does. I might end it if the sex was bad, especially in the beginning. Depends on how invested I am in the guy. Saying he's nice enough? For me, that would mean I'm not that invested and he'd have to go! :biggrin:
 

Twistbarbie

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Size doesn't really matter to me, but good sex does. I might end it if the sex was bad, especially in the beginning. Depends on how invested I am in the guy. Saying he's nice enough? For me, that would mean I'm not that invested and he'd have to go! :biggrin:

It's early days but I've evolved my ideas in dating. I know someone who took 3months to sleep with the guy she was seeing - making him wait - sorry not for me anymore, the longer/more you see someone the more attached you're likely to become, imagine waiting that long and it was bad.

Thing is Femme how to do the cull?
I'd be more interested if he was rocking my world :redface:
 

LaFemme

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Sex or no sex, if he's just "nice enough" he's not going to last 3 months with me. I bore easily. If he really wants to be with me, he has to be very sexual, very erotic and very willing to talk about it. I know sex can get better in a relationship if both want it, but if he thinks it's fine the way it is? Then it won't.

I guess in some ways, that might be the benefit of waiting. You can have that conversation before you have sex. You say, "what if the sex is bad for one of us? What do we do?" At least you both know each other well enough to have that conversation. Hmm. This is actually the first time I thought of it this way. Usually it's having an awkward conversation AFTER finding out the sex isn't great.....

You've really given me something to think about.
 

Snarky_succubus

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Can't it just be as simple as "I don't feel we're a good match"? If he asks why... be honest. Tell him that you don't feel like you two hit the mark (so to speak) sexually. Don't make it a "him" issue per se. Just tell him you don't think you guys are as compatible as you need to be.
 

MsThang

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I broke up with someone because the sex was bad and it wasn't going to get better. I liked going out with him and dreaded having sex. I remember thinking "when is this going to be over" while we were having sex and got annoyed with him. You just are not supposed to feel that way when you are dating someone.
 

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I broke up with someone because the sex was bad and it wasn't going to get better. I liked going out with him and dreaded having sex. I remember thinking "when is this going to be over" while we were having sex and got annoyed with him. You just are not supposed to feel that way when you are dating someone.

yep, he's good to be around and is up for going out/trying new places and we can have a giggle during sex but as for passion? It's not there.
 

MsThang

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yep, he's good to be around and is up for going out/trying new places and we can have a giggle during sex but as for passion? It's not there.

I know, I really tried too but it was horrible. He didn't have a big dick which didn't help but that wasn't the real issue. I just felt nothing and every moment was excruciating. I want to want the man I am with. I want to think about him and get wet and can't wait to see him so we can fuck. That is how it should be.
 

Betty_Cocker

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yep, he's good to be around and is up for going out/trying new places and we can have a giggle during sex but as for passion? It's not there.


what's wrong with just saying this .... and "passion" is a two way street. It takes two to make fireworks so I agree about not trying to make it about him. Passion is very important in the very early stages of sex. It is even important later on, too. But if it isn't there in the beginning it sure won't be there later on.

The "chemistry" isn't there.
 

LaFemme

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Oh, we'll passion is different. Bad sex can get better - passion? It's either there or it isn't. I've had bad sex with someone I had incredible chemistry and passion with. Without the passion, there really wouldn't have been any point in working on the sex.
 

EllieP

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I've broken off a relationship with two men because of bad sex. I simply explained that the chemistry wasn't working between us. "You're a great guy, but I just don't see our relationship going in a direction that I'm aiming for. Sorry." Then do your mouth like "eee" and suck in your breath. Kind of smile when you do that to lessen the blow. I found it works.

Wear a turtleneck so he doesn't stare at your cleavage. The second guy kept staring at my breasts and finally said "man, I'm going to miss those." And all I could do was say "yeah, sorry."

Passion is important to me as well, but if execution and technique are absent then it's not the whole deal.

I would definitely not call you shallow! Physical is a huge part of it.