Banned from Wal Mart

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by BUSTERHYMAN, Mar 7, 2011.

  1. BUSTERHYMAN

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    Banned from Wal Mart
    After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips
    to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
    and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife
    is like most women - she loved to browse.

    Yesterday, my dear wife received the following letter from the local
    Wal-Mart:

    Dear Mrs. Samsel,



    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
    commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have
    been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against
    Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video
    surveillance cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
    people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
    minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
    women's restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
    voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away. '

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's
    on layaway.

    6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
    shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
    from the bedding department.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began
    crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as
    a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
    asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
    humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

    12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna
    look' by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
    through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
    assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
    AGAIN!'

    And last, but not least,


    15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
    awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
    here!'

    [​IMG]
     
  2. D_Seymour Skidmarx

    D_Seymour Skidmarx Account Disabled

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    is this even true? if so, how old are you again? 10
     
  3. koval

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    LOL. I must confess that I did item no.2 the last time I was in Walmart.
     
  4. koval

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    It's posted in the jokes section so what do you think?:biggrin1:
     
  5. Countryguy63

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    Verified:
    Photo
    :confused: :confused: :rolleyes:
     
  6. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    With jokes like these, they'll probably YELL to you when you leave, "Get lost, please don't come back!"
     
  7. crescendo69

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    I am so going to do some of these on April 1.
     
  8. Drifterwood

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    Is Hickboy allowed in any stores?
     
  9. ZOS23xy

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    Or Faceking?
     
  10. cocktaste

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    If you really want to tick them off, go in and put gay porn around. Their fundie heads will explode!
     
  11. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    I will not go in Walmart unless I need something that they and they alone sell. I will not do business with them, I will not join Sam's Club, and I wouldn't do business with any of the Walton family. Walmart has damaged this country in ways that may turn out to be irreparable.
     
  12. BUSTERHYMAN

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    I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate
    yourself in public.

    :smile:
     
  13. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    Nah, with ignorant pissants like you, it's always spur of the moment
    to straighten some asses out.
     
  14. 2damwild

    2damwild New Member

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    LOL!!!!!!!! love it!!
     
  15. BUSTERHYMAN

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    Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
     
  16. hockeyguy741

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    LOL....:smile:
     
  17. BUSTERHYMAN

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    [​IMG] Are your tit's real???
     
  18. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    No one- who forgot to get you your METAMUCIL today?
     
  19. BUSTERHYMAN

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    Hear i have your new supply
    [​IMG]
     
  20. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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