Bare backed for 1st time!

[Tattooed Goddess]

How can a forum full of people showing their dick and blabbering sluttily about their sex life can be so judgmental... go figure!

grats op etc

Are you kidding?
Since when does showing ones body parts and having sex with one or more people constitute you not being allowed to talk about safe sex? I see no correlation. But I have to ask, how's that working out for ya?

To the OP, take TJ's and Bbucko's advice. After reading the post he found about you 2 weeks ago, it sounds like you are on a quick road to heartache amongst other things if you aren't more cautious.

 

[joyboytoy79]

Really? Emotions are bound by latex? Never noticed since we would use them for valid reasons, those reasons were important enough to not negatively effect the value of the relationship we had or the sex we were having as a result of it.

My husband and I have been together for nearly 5 years now (wow, time flies!). For us, using condoms with each other would be emotionally less fulfilling. Mind you, we USED condoms for the first year of our relationship. The emotional aspect of it comes not from the latex, but from the trust we were able to build up with each other.

All of this said - I think the OP needs to be a little less excited, and a little more cautious. 2 months does not a solid relationship make. Relationships take time, and yours has only just begun. Slow down and enjoy it a little. Savor it. Don't rush it.

 

[thadjock]

My first reaction to the OP was to get preachy, but i know guys ahead of my age group had a certain fear factor seared into their brains (when the evolving crisis was fresh on the front page) that i didnt' get, and i think that has receded even more with kids today. I also do'nt want to come off as a bloody hypocrite, God knows i've taken my share of poorly calculated risks and somehow managed to come through them unscathed ( luck, devine intervention, or maybe I'm one of those with the theoretical immunity gene, who knows?).

I won't claim that with age comes wisdom, but maybe with age comes a sense of mortality I didnt' have when i was 18 or 24 like the OP, and a cautious pragmatism informs that side of me now. I wish the OP and his partner the best and I hope they're still together and as much in love with each other 50 yrs from now, as they are today.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

JBT, I can see how trust can be represented by the lack of condom use and the trust you have makes you closer. I just wonder how many people are dropping the condoms because it makes them "feel" like things are so trusting and exclusive? Based on the post that Bbucko linked to a couple of posts up from the OP just a mere 2 weeks ago, I have a feeling this guy is having a sense of exclusivity with his partner because taking this huge step, rather than the other way around.

 

[The Dragon]

"I know the importance of protection" - Doesn't sound like you do.

"I always use condoms" - Evidently, you don't.

"we are very close straight acting guys" - Even straight acting guys can get HIV. It's not just a disease that favors the really femme acting guys.

"We're both clean" - So both of you have had RECENT HIV tests and have backed the negative results up with another negative test six months later?

I'm sorry to sound judgmental but being together only two months is only just in the ball park of "flavor of the month". You don't know what he was up to before he met you and he don't know what you were up to before you met him. You're playing with fire. I wonder if, in your next "relationship" you will admit to your new BFF that you have barebacked in the past?

Quoted for Truth.

 

[joyboytoy79]

JBT, I can see how trust can be represented by the lack of condom use and the trust you have makes you closer.

OK, i just wanted to make sure we were clear on this. It seems like we are.

I just wonder how many people are dropping the condoms because it makes them "feel" like things are so trusting and exclusive? Based on the post that Bbucko linked to a couple of posts up from the OP just a mere 2 weeks ago, I have a feeling this guy is having a sense of exclusivity with his partner because taking this huge step, rather than the other way around.

On this you and I are in 100% agreement. You don't do bareback to gain trust, or to gain a sense of trust (which is just dangerous). IF a couple decides to stop using protection, it should be because the level of trust has already been forged. And that comes with time. 2 months is not enough time. Of course, this is just my own feeling on the subject. I'm not the ultimate authority.

 

[Bbucko]

JBT, I can see how trust can be represented by the lack of condom use and the trust you have makes you closer. I just wonder how many people are dropping the condoms because it makes them "feel" like things are so trusting and exclusive? Based on the post that Bbucko linked to a couple of posts up from the OP just a mere 2 weeks ago, I have a feeling this guy is having a sense of exclusivity with his partner because taking this huge step, rather than the other way around.

Thank you, and unsurprisingly, I agree.

I'd also like to add that HIV- guys cannot serosort, because the truth only reveals itself in a test taken 13 weeks (CDC: most seroconvert in ~6-8 weeks) following one's last sexual encounter. Only poz guys can serosort, and many (most, actually) of us do.

I'll also add that I'm one of the very least sex-negative members at LPSG; my message has always been overwhelmingly sex-positive, even regarding such outré acts as fisting and WS. I'm hardly a prude.

Anyone interested in exploring the OP's history at starting threads need only visit here. Read and learn (16? Really?).

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Bbucko, you are the Thread Master, sorta like the Beast Master without the ferrets. After seeing that thread he created. I question his judgement well beyond just whether or not to ditch the rubbers.

 

[Bbucko]

Bbucko, you are the Thread Master, sorta like the Beast Master without the ferrets. After seeing that thread he created. I question his judgement well beyond just whether or not to ditch the rubbers.

It's endemic to his being, MR.

Color me sorta done and tired of arguing with a persona rather than a RL human.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I hear ya big guy, I'm a little "Persona'd" out myself!

 

[minimag]

Everyone is so focused on talking about HIV they neglect to mention all of the other nasties that can be found in the human digestive tract. :O

 

[mikeyinbrooklyn]

Hey, I am glad you had fun, but...

It's a bad habit. There is a reason HIV rates have gone up in recent years, especially among the young FYI. Maybe being young enough to not know people who died of AIDS is actually as much a curse as a blessing. Statistically, you will not be with your boyfriend forever. Wear a condom, get tested regularly, and live to tell te tale.

 

[flawdatiger]

Buddy, glad you got the chance to do it raw with a virgin! I'll take your word that he isn't a liar. I don't know if you have a tendency to get UTI's, but I do almost every time i've had unprotected sex, thus I condom up.

Have you ever sat in the CDC waiting for the results of your HIV/AIDS test, which thinking about every person you slept with since you were last tested?

Trust me, it's not a pleasant experience. Avoid it by wrapping up when you can, and taking swift measures when you don't (z pack).

 

[B_lightsup]

two words genital warts. one word sphyllis . one abreviasion hiv. only takes one time having unprotected sex.
the end.

 

[crushted]

Im 27 he 21, he is so handsome and busy with lots of jobs and campus stuff.
I want to have bareback with him asap

 

[TurkeyWithaSunburn]

And when was the OP tested last?

Saying you're clean doesn't mean squat w/o a test result, recent test result.

 

[Fredro]

Seriously I knew there would be some backlash but damn. We're both clean, and very much in love. It was a spur of the moment and wouldn't have happened if I knew he had been with another guy. How am I supposed to tell him no when I know I'm clean, he's clean, and we want to be intimate. The decision has been made and I will be sure to continue being careful in the future.

HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S CLEAN??? HOW DOES HE KNOW YOU ARE CLEAN???

You say it wouldn't have happened if you knew he had been with another guy. You've been with other guys haven't you? Why didn't that stop you from barebacking him? Well, evidently that wasn't a deal breaker for him was it? You didn't have to be a virgin for him to let you fuck him, did you? This whole situation really stinks.

You say you know he is a virgin because he has never been with another guy. How do you know he's told you the truth about that??? You don't. You only have his word to go on like he only has your word to go on. As for him letting you bareback him, knowing you aren't a virgin, that speaks volumes about his ignorance about his own safety.

 

[DrCalvin]

jesus christ you guys. there's preaching safe sex, then there's jumping right down his throat about it. some of you guys need to take a biiig step back and calm down a little.

 

[Fredro]

Personally, I don't care if he barebacks or not. MY only concern is that he get informed and stop making suppositions that he thinks is going to protect him and/or his partner in the long run - ie - "I know he's clean" or "I know he was a virgin" when he has no solid evidence to back it up.

To bareback or not bareback is a personal choice but some of the comments of the OP make it look like it's ok to others that it's fine to just suppose or take for granted some of these issues and everything will be just fine.

Oh, and BTW -I agree with a previous poster here - Stop using the term "clean" in regards to HIV status. I do think infected or uninfected in a better choice of words.

 

[aninnymouse]

jesus christ you guys. there's preaching safe sex, then there's jumping right down his throat about it. some of you guys need to take a biiig step back and calm down a little.

^
This.