Bare backed for 1st time!

[7"24]

First of all I have never been fucked by a guy. Secondly the only guy I have fucked is him. I have slept with a few girls all with condoms except once and she was my fiancé and clean. Get your facts before you start attacking people. I know he's telling the truth because hes my boyfriend we have had the discussions about what we have done sexually he has no reason to lie to me.

 

[wappingite]

First of all I have never been fucked by a guy. Secondly the only guy I have fucked is him. I have slept with a few girls all with condoms except once and she was my fiancé and clean. Get your facts before you start attacking people. I know he's telling the truth because hes my boyfriend we have had the discussions about what we have done sexually he has no reason to lie to me.

I don't think people are condemning you as much as they are worried about you due to your level of life experience. We were all young once and made mistakes, and don't want others to make the similar ones, especially because love sometimes blinds good decision making.

As long as you know the potential risks you are taking, then it's entirely your informed choice and decision. You are correct, none of us know you or your bf. I met my bf at 20, so who am I to judge. ;-)

I'm glad that you've found someone special.

 

[aninnymouse]

NO.

What really sucks is that the OP posted this because he wanted to share how special the experience felt, and he gets blasted for it.

I think he understands that using protection and being safe is better, but got wrapped up in the moment; and the moment was beautiful. It sounds like if he'd had a condom with him, he most certainly would have used it.

Also, No one else on here knows what's really going on in the OP's relationship. Yeah, they had some hiccups, and had some things to work out. Looks like they've done that to their satisfaction.

All the pearl clutching is a bit disturbing to me. I think some people need to lighten up. I understand the Safer Sex message, especially with people who are so young, and obviously love struck. However, there's never a reason to get preachy. That just alienates people.

 

[wappingite]

All the pearl clutching is a bit disturbing to me. I think some people need to lighten up. I understand the Safer Sex message, especially with people who are so young, and obviously love struck. However, there's never a reason to get preachy. That just alienates people.

I agree to a degree, but not about the never being preachy part. Some people perceive anyone who doesn't agree with them as "preachy" while others perceive the same information as simply exchange of ideas or dialogue. When discussing preventable health issues, there will always be strong opinions. That's the nature of public online forums. It's very difficult for those of us who know people who have contracted HIV through similar situations to just lighten up.

 

[aninnymouse]

I agree to a degree, but not about the never being preachy part. Some people perceive anyone who doesn't agree with them as "preachy" while others perceive the same information as simply exchange of ideas or dialogue. When discussing preventable health issues, there will always be strong opinions. That's the nature of public online forums. It's very difficult for those of us who know people who have contracted HIV through similar situations to just lighten up.

True. It's only a couple of people who are getting really heavy handed and judgemental. Most of the people are offering solid advice. Strangely enough, the ones who seem to have the most experience with getting burned by HIV or other STD's (no pun intended) seem to be the most rational.

Honestly, My advice to the OP would be to be careful. I'd say, have an open and honest conversation with your guy, and talk about the idea of getting tested together. Not in the sense that you don't trust him, or that he shouldn't trust you, but in the sense that this is something that couples do, and a stepping stone to cementing the relationship. You've stated that both of you feel like you never want to break up, you want to be together forever. This is a step in that direction.

I do agree that two months is a bit early to ditch the condoms, especially being young. I think you have a bit of getting to know each other to do. If it's something that worthwhile, then it can wait, and the waiting will make it doubly better once you decide to take that leap.

I do wish the both of you luck with it. True love is grand, especially the first time.

 

[7"24]

Thanks aninnymouse that was exactly the point. I am just now coming to terms with liking guys and having a boyfriend, so I wanted to share about the experience. It was so new to me and I knew people here would be able to relate. I do appreciate the advice and cautiousness I have gotten here.

 

[3etr]

Are you kidding?
Since when does showing ones body parts and having sex with one or more people constitute you not being allowed to talk about safe sex? I see no correlation. But I have to ask, how's that working out for ya?

How is it any safer to show your naked self having sex, with your face and plenty of information on your private life all over the fucking place for whoever wants to see? It does not change anything, people should probably use a condom at all times anyway, but it's deeply hypocrite and judgmental.

 

[aninnymouse]

Thanks aninnymouse that was exactly the point. I am just now coming to terms with liking guys and having a boyfriend, so I wanted to share about the experience. It was so new to me and I knew people here would be able to relate. I do appreciate the advice and cautiousness I have gotten here.

No problem, my friend. I could tell you were excited about that, and I also know from your other posts that you really don't have too many "safe" outlets IRL to share with. That's why I felt bad that you'd gotten nuked so bad.

BTW, I like hearing about your relationship with your guy. It sounds like it's moving forward beautifully.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

How is it any safer to show your naked self having sex, with your face and plenty of information on your private life all over the fucking place for whoever wants to see? It does not change anything, people should probably use a condom at all times anyway, but it's deeply hypocrite and judgmental.

Your comparing the term "safe sex" in regards to infectious diseases to the term "safe" as in from people who commit crimes against other people (such as stalking/rape/murder) and that showed just how LITTLE you belong in this conversation giving advice to the OP.

BTW, go back and read his other threads he's created. Those minors he is interested in posting about sure aren't safe from him in both aspects of what you are trying to use the term SAFE here today.

Seriously pick up a dictionary and compare the two.

There are people who make the most raunchy porn videos and still practice more safe sex than this guy. So how is that a correlation?

Oh and anyone here such as ThadJock and Bbucko who also have their face and any identifiable sexual history here to be read....disregard what they have to say on this subject also. It's hypocritical right?

 

[TurkeyWithaSunburn]

First of all I have never been fucked by a guy. Secondly the only guy I have fucked is him. I have slept with a few girls all with condoms except once and she was my fiancé and clean. Get your facts before you start attacking people. I know he's telling the truth because hes my boyfriend we have had the discussions about what we have done sexually he has no reason to lie to me.

And I'll restate

And when was the OP tested last?

Saying you're clean doesn't mean squat w/o a test result, recent test result.

And there is more than just HIV out there... have you both actually been tested for HIV, Hepatitis, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia and everything else in an STD panel?

Heterosexual infections of HIV from females to males does occur. Look at Africa. Condoms reduce the risk but the risk isn't zero. Going bare significantly increases the risk. And not having sex reduces the risk to zero, but who wants to be a nun?!

If you haven't taken a recent STD panel now would be the time for BOTH you and him to go get one, and discuss MONOGAMY. That's no cheating at all. No slipups, no OH this dude was just so hot I had to blow him.

FWIW I'm glad you had an enjoyable sexual experience.

 

[aninnymouse]

Your comparing the term "safe sex" in regards to infectious diseases to the term "safe" as in from people who commit crimes against other people (such as stalking/rape/murder) and that showed just how LITTLE you belong in this conversation giving advice to the OP.

BTW, go back and read his other threads he's created. Those minors he is interested in posting about sure aren't safe from him in both aspects of what you are trying to use the term SAFE here today.

Seriously pick up a dictionary and compare the two.

There are people who make the most raunchy porn videos and still practice more safe sex than this guy. So how is that a correlation?

Oh and anyone here such as ThadJock and Bbucko who also have their face and any identifiable sexual history here to be read....disregard what they have to say on this subject also. It's hypocritical right?

What the fuck are you babbling on about?

IIRC, 7" did NOT buy his guy or his friends alcohol. As a matter of fact, it was his refusal that caused a fight.

And if you're talking about the sexual angle of it....Well, YMMV. He had unprotected sex with his boyfriend ONE TIME, and you're making it out like he did something horrible.

You seriously need to unclutch your pearls. Your face is turning purple.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

What the fuck are you babbling on about?

IIRC, 7" did NOT buy his guy or his friends alcohol. As a matter of fact, it was his refusal that caused a fight.

And if you're talking about the sexual angle of it....Well, YMMV. He had unprotected sex with his boyfriend ONE TIME, and you're making it out like he did something horrible.

You seriously need to unclutch your pearls. Your face is turning purple.

What are you even talking about? You are making zero sense at this point. It's well obvious that you know 7'' personally outside of his threads here on LPSG publicly. But why don't you do him a favor and stop telling more of his convoluted stories and do yourself a favor and look at his threads he's created in the past that had to do with his sexual interest in a minor. That is what I was referring to.

His entire persona is not fairing well based on his own threads, particularly the one 2 weeks ago where he fears his partner is not exclusive to him, to the point where he is really questionable as a person who can make a good decision for himself (let alone other people).

This has nothing to do with me. It has to do with the haphazard mindset and immaturity that is being promoted by only a few people who have something to gain in his friendship or by this sort of risky behavior.

It's your bodies, not mine. I could give a fuck less. I just worry about the people who are reading this and think it's a glorious idea thanks to your supportive posts about how sweet and cute it all is.

I'm shocked he didn't get banned for his amorous feelings towards a 16 year old when he created that thread. But hey, I'll hold out for you to post some more details that don't even pertain to this conversation. Or better yet, maybe they do and I'm out of the loop?

 

[aninnymouse]

OK, first of all, I do not know anything about 7"24. I don't know him personally, the only threads of his that I've read are the ones he's posted recently.

I wasn't aware of the thread about having feelings for a 16 year old. Besides, that's pretty long gone. He does seem as though he does have a few issues, but it's not your place to judge him, and call him names for making his own choices.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

OK, first of all, I do not know anything about 7"24. I don't know him personally, the only threads of his that I've read are the ones he's posted recently.

I wasn't aware of the thread about having feelings for a 16 year old. Besides, that's pretty long gone. He does seem as though he does have a few issues, but it's not your place to judge him, and call him names for making his own choices.

When you post anything here or elsewhere publicly, you are going to get responses you like or don't like. It's not something he wasn't aware of in the first place. Let me also add that I'm not calling him any names if memory serves. And judging someone based on their poor decisions is not something any of us set out to do, it's human nature.

Me judging him wrongly would be calling him names or insults that were related to his sexual orientation, penis size, etc. Judging him based on the information that HE has in fact provided for the rest of us is not judging him in a poor way.

I don't care if it was a couple of years ago. I have a feeling he is immature and sees himself more on the level of underage people rather than as the mid-20's man that he is. That combined with feeling a false sense of security by dating people who are young enough to likely be virgins so he doesn't feel as if he is putting himself at risk is probably what the true issue is.

Judging someone on behavior is not something that one can just "turn off" for the sake of sparing someone's feelings. Where are you taking up for the judgement of me having sexual content and showing my face here as a means to say that I can not have an opinion on safe sex? I don't see you being bothered by that judgement of my character. So judgement in general towards others is not what is bothering you here today. It sounds like you pity the guy or relate to him. Either way, I truly to don't care.

My main concern is the influence elders have here on the community (regardless of their age) by whatever we say. That includes me, you and the OP. We have responsibilities when we are giving others advice. We are giving advice to the collective community. Consider that.

 

[7"24]

Yeah for some reason a lot of people on here seem to think my boyfriend and I have all these problems, which is my fault because it's the perception my posts create I guess. I really do just post here when I need advice, or to share for the same reason you said, I have no other outlet. Only one of my friends can I talk to about this stuff he is gay and just broke up with some one so I don't want to talk about all the great things in experiencing when he is lonely.

In reality things are great, any argument we have had has been miscommunication and we worked it out quickly. I know 2 months is not an adequate amount of time for such trust in someone. But we are both so new to this I knew He was a virgin before meeting me, and he initiated after knowing I didn't have a condom, I did get a little caught up in the moment but In reality it is what it is.

We are closer then ever before. It has only been two months but to us it feels like a lifetime. We are both in such similar situations and like each other so much we dont want anyone else. We both want to be together forever. So I'm not going to dwell on whether it will last or not. And Im determined to make it last

 

[aninnymouse]

When you post anything here or elsewhere publicly, you are going to get responses you like or don't like. It's not something he wasn't aware of in the first place. Let me also add that I'm not calling him any names if memory serves. And judging someone based on their poor decisions is not something any of us set out to do, it's human nature.

Me judging him wrongly would be calling him names or insults that were related to his sexual orientation, penis size, etc. Judging him based on the information that HE has in fact provided for the rest of us is not judging him in a poor way.

I don't care if it was a couple of years ago. I have a feeling he is immature and sees himself more on the level of underage people rather than as the mid-20's man that he is. That combined with feeling a false sense of security by dating people who are young enough to likely be virgins so he doesn't feel as if he is putting himself at risk is probably what the true issue is.

You've called him immature several times. You've done everything but call him a sexual predator and a pedophile. The following statement that you made:

There are people who make the most raunchy porn videos and still practice more safe sex than this guy. So how is that a correlation?

is bizzare to me. Implying that OP is completely and 100% reckless in all he does, and never practices safe sex was IMO out of bounds, and nasty.

To me, honestly, it's about content and process. Not what you say, but how you say it. I can tell that you're not one who minces words, and tends to call things as you see them. Can definitely rub some people the wrong way.

BTW, I never said someone cannot have an opinion on Safe or safer sex. That was another poster. I've just noticed that there's a lot of posters who get jumped on for having a contrary opinion, or if someone does not agree with you, they are all over you like red on neck.

In some respects, yeah, I do feel for the OP. It's clear from some of his posts that he's had some issues going on, and does not have many people to share his true self with. I just hate to see people get jumped on like that.

One of the things that I noticed, is that you brought up thadjock and bbucko. IMO, their responses were probably the most measured and well thought out in the thread. I do agree that in many respects, everyone who posts here does give advice to the community at large, whether they intend to, or not. However, IMO, there is a proper way to give advice, and one that can be detrimental. You can state your opinion without being judgmental and over the top about it, even if it is something that rubs you the wrong way.

Now that I've dragged this whole thread into an entirely different realm, I think I'm gonna put this away now. However, I do have a more clear understanding of where you're coming from, and I hope you have a clearer understanding of where I'm coming from.

 

[B_chinagirl4u2]

Some very opinionated and judgemental posting in this thread.

OP- wear a condom at all times, apparently it = long life, it will protect you against tsunamies, eathquakes, getting run over, food poisining, cancer or the sky falling on your head.

and dont forget folks to put one on your tongue for oral sex and over your mouth for kissing .

The only safe sex is no sex, anything beyond that has risk.

Now if you want my advice, for unprotected sex with strangers, testing before is the key, only takes a day, if they wont agree stay away from them .

If they have anything by test including HPV, think long and hard about any sex with them.

If anyone insists on either no condom and/or no test, all they get from me is a wave bye bye.

This works for me, maybe not for others, all accept different risks. Do want you feels best, enjoy your life.

 

[queomo]

It is what it is, You can't undo what has already been done. If you are absolutely, positively without a doubdt that both of you are neg and 1000% monomous and neither will step outside the relationship sexually -you have nothing to worry about enjoy the moment. But when one of you turn up positive don't point the finger at your spouse because there's no one else to blame but yourself for letting your guard down. HIV is NOT difficult to catch but can be difficult to detect. Every (body) is different. It's equally as important to know it's NOT a death sentence you can live a full health life with treatment. But there are other dieases out there that make you life a living hell. All the better reason to continue practicing safer sex. Look for the AVANTI condom, feels like bare backing.

Learn to live your life to the fullest, dance like no one is watching and when your done take a bow.
Chances are you'll be out walking your dog one day and you'll be one that get run over by a bus.

 

[bimetaldude]

NO.

What really sucks is that the OP posted this because he wanted to share how special the experience felt, and he gets blasted for it.

I think he understands that using protection and being safe is better, but got wrapped up in the moment; and the moment was beautiful. It sounds like if he'd had a condom with him, he most certainly would have used it.

Also, No one else on here knows what's really going on in the OP's relationship. Yeah, they had some hiccups, and had some things to work out. Looks like they've done that to their satisfaction.

All the pearl clutching is a bit disturbing to me. I think some people need to lighten up. I understand the Safer Sex message, especially with people who are so young, and obviously love struck. However, there's never a reason to get preachy. That just alienates people.

I agree. In two weeks, I will be bottoming for the first time, my BF and I are in a long distance relationship and going on 18 months. We have taken it very slow. Both of us are disease free, tested many times. But he has only topped a couple of times in the past (years ago). So we plan to fuck bareback. Let the firing squad begin...:biggrin1:

 

[Bbucko]

HIV is NOT difficult to catch but can be difficult to detect. Every (body) is different.

Actually quite the opposite is true.

HIV is a very fragile virus and can only be spread internally; using condoms when fucking is an extremely effective way to prevent transmission. In fact, using condoms correctly (check the expiration date and only use silicone or water-based lubes) virtually eliminates one's risk of transmission. I am highly dubious regarding all claims of an "immaculate infection" (ie: other than unprotected anal or vaginal sex): IRL the are highly implausible.

Well over 95% of all transmissions are detectable through antibody testing 6-8 weeks post-infection. The very conservative CDC insists that a test at 13 weeks post-exposure is definitive. This whole six-month thing is a commonly held myth: the only possibility of a false-negative test after 13 weeks is if someone's immune system has already been severely compromised due to chemotherapy or extremely rare immune-defeicient disorders.

I do, however, agree with most of the rest of your post. HIV infection requires the participation of two parties; when people discuss "the guy who infected me" (a common practice among the newly-infected) I just shudder with dismay. If you want to see the guy who infected you, look in a mirror and he'll be staring back.

I'm also bullish on the concept of accepting an educated risk, but I'm most definitely a high-risk, high-reward sorta guy: educate yourself of the possible unwanted consequences of any given action, weight the pros and cons, and make an adult decision accordingly. Virtually everything in life comes with some sort of risk, but the trick is to not be terrorized into inaction. Otherwise you'll never get out of bed.

My motivation for participating in this thread is that I don't believe that neither the OP, nor especially the latest object of his affections had clearly and rationally thought through all of their risks. That's just my opinion, and when someone posts a thread here I'm going to comment my viewpoints based on knowledge, interest and whatever relevant experience I've had pertaining to the subject: that's what this place is all about.