Bareback love

[B_DorianGray]

Guys....if you found that you were really in love with a girl/guy you have been seeing would you prefer youre first sexual intercourse experience to be with a condom or without? Personally if I was sure it was real love I would want to wait to get tested for everything together and promise monogamy and go without a condom....does anyone think that this is a bad idea? I realize in this day and age it seems like you have to be able to trust that person with your life...but I guess that is what true love is all about...any thoughts on this? :smile:

 

[RideRocket]

I would prefer to not use a condom because I enjoy the feelings of going without much better. However, you have to be so careful nowadays that using protection is a must. As you stated, getting tested and promising monogamy is a good step before going without protection.

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

If you both get tested, make sure you're in the room when your amor to be gets the results. Otherwise, no glove, no love. It's not worth it. The other thing is that unless you really, really know someone, do you really know they're being monogamous?

 

[D_alex8]

I think the idea of both getting tested and then remaining monogamous forevermore is a nice romantic utopia, but in reality, I value my life way too much to risk a game of Russian roulette without a rubber. I barebacked twice in the past during moments of drunken foolishness, and nothing would make me revisit the weeks and months of worry, self-doubt, self-loathing and general misery that followed.

 

[madame_zora]

I think the idea of both getting tested and then remaining monogamous forevermore is a nice romantic utopia, but in reality, I value my life way too much to risk a game of Russian roulette without a rubber. I barebacked twice in the past during moments of drunken foolishness, and nothing would make me revisit the weeks and months of worry, self-doubt, self-loathing and general misery that followed.

Thank you. Only have bareback sex with someone you'd voluntarily forfeit your life for. If sex with them is worth dying for, do it. If not, wear a condom.
No DorianGray, love is NOT about taking risks with your life, I hope you don't really believe that.

 

[B_Stronzo]

Amen sistah!

Tell 'em madame_zora. Are you people who'd advocate bareback sex fucking serious?????????????

 

[GottaBigOne]

I don't think anyone was advocating going raw, they were just honest about the fact that it feels better, which it does, and if you feel liek you can trust the person, go ahead, but don't cry to momma when your gf gives you herpes because she cheated on you. Thats the risk you take.

 

[Chuck64]

Herpes is minor compared to some of the other shit getting passed around out there...

 

[GottaBigOne]

Okay, don't cry to momma when your gf gives you herpes, gonnorhea(sp?), genital warts, syphillis, crabs, hepatitis a,b,and c, and the granddaddy of them all
HIV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[B_Stronzo]

I don't think anyone was advocating going raw, they were just honest about the fact that it feels better, which it does, and if you feel liek you can trust the person, go ahead, but don't cry to momma when your gf gives you herpes because she cheated on you. Thats the risk you take.

Yes thanks GBO. I got that part. I have an amazing grasp of the risks out there. Honestly, I do.

But I totally disagree with your "go ahead theory" if you 'feel like you can trust the person'. No amount of imagined 'trust' is worth your life. Full stop.

 

[GottaBigOne]

Don't you realize that quite often you trust others with your life?? Everytime you get on a bus you are trusting a complete stranger with your well-being. That seems more risky than with somone you know and care for.

 

[panthera]

I think the idea of both getting tested and then remaining monogamous forevermore is a nice romantic utopia, but in reality, I value my life way too much to risk a game of Russian roulette without a rubber. I barebacked twice in the past during moments of drunken foolishness, and nothing would make me revisit the weeks and months of worry, self-doubt, self-loathing and general misery that followed.

You have my vote 100%, Alex. I sure hope things turned out ok for you.
My last relationship was with a guy here in Bavaria who got tested with me (twice, 6 months still being the best way to be certain) and who insisted on monogamy. Well, he fucked half of Upper-, most of Lower Bavaria and all of Austria. Course he was barebacking me the whole time....still have not worked up the nerve to get tested. Am alone now, if I do start dating will have to decide. Just could so not deal with that, too after everything else. I admire your bravery. It is really a case of utopian beliefs. We so want to believe someone really wouldn't hurt us...

 

[B_Stronzo]

Don't you realize that quite often you trust others with your life?? Everytime you get on a bus you are trusting a complete stranger with your well-being. That seems more risky than with somone you know and care for.

Ah, finally, I get you. You simply enjoy being contrary.

You and I know full-well the difference between wrapping our cocks in good protection (without exception) and the obscure analogy you make.

Have your schoolboy fun at someone else's expense. It's become tedious now.

 

[BuddyBoy]

This probably puts me outside of the politically correct circle, but I think there are some circumstances where you weight the risks and make a choice. Frankly, I do that evertime I eat a hamburger nowadays, and I'm one of the few people in my circle of friends who will even eat beef in this post mad cow world.

My ex and I were together for 10 years. When we met he was a 23 year old virgin. Though we started out using condoms, by the second year we'd made them an optional accessory.

Was I trusting him with my life? Yes, I guess so.

Was my trust misplaced? No, but that doesn't mean it couldn't have been.

But, you know, I think it comes down to the right to choose. I would never enforce my choice on another, in bed or out of it, but do support the right to make a choice without attack. I guess that makes me ProChoice, n'est pas?

 

[D_alex8]

This probably puts me outside of the politically correct circle, ...

I don't think what I said before has anything to do with a desire to be politically correct, it has to do with an overriding wish to get plenty more accomplished this lifetime. You wouldn't catch me anywhere near beef, either. Since little scares me more than the notion of a life on medication, there is no way I would sacrifice the rubbers.

Of course, ultimately, it is a personal-choice issue based on risk-assessment. But I really can't stress in strong enough terms that people have to weigh up just how great those risks might be ... depending on their circumstances, ... a lifetime on medication, social exclusion, death, etc....

 

[BuddyBoy]

Of course, ultimately, it is a personal-choice issue based on risk-assessment. But I really can't stress in strong enough terms that people have to weigh up just how great those risks might be ... depending on their circumstances, ... a lifetime on medication, social exclusion, death, etc....

Oh, I do agree, it's not a trivial choice, and not to be made lightly or in haste, at least as far as I'm concerned.

 

[GottaBigOne]

Ah, finally, I get you. You simply enjoy being contrary.

And you just like to dismiss that which you can't argue against.

 

[panthera]

Sex is such an intimate way to express your love for someone, it is hard to accept that most people will lie and cheat on you.
No way around it; as long as the dangers are as great as they are, it only makes sense to protect yourself.
I also have trouble understanding the "you take a chance with your life everytime you get on a bus" logic. I know lots of folks who jsut love to say "their is no safety in life" (es gibt keine Sicherheit im Leben) as if that really means anything. Risk is a question of probabilities. If I am lying in bed (3rd floor) the odds of being hit by a drunk driver are not the same as if I am on a country road in the middle of the night, dressed in black - and the disco just got out.
To get back to the original question of this thread: I would rather have sex with a condom than not have any at all. And if my partner really loves me, then he will accept my fear, even if he may not understand it.

 

[madame_zora]

This probably puts me outside of the politically correct circle, but I think there are some circumstances where you weight the risks and make a choice. Frankly, I do that evertime I eat a hamburger nowadays, and I'm one of the few people in my circle of friends who will even eat beef in this post mad cow world.

My ex and I were together for 10 years. When we met he was a 23 year old virgin. Though we started out using condoms, by the second year we'd made them an optional accessory.

Was I trusting him with my life? Yes, I guess so.

Was my trust misplaced? No, but that doesn't mean it couldn't have been.

But, you know, I think it comes down to the right to choose. I would never enforce my choice on another, in bed or out of it, but do support the right to make a choice without attack.* I guess that makes me ProChoice, n'est pas?

Yes, it does, and I can completely respect that decision, as long as IF you happen to get some horrid disease, you keep that attitude. In the years that a person with HIV is slowly dying, I don't think there are many who say to themselves, "It was all worth it. I TRUSTED him/her". It also shouldn't be my social obligation to pay for your bad choice if you need medical care you can't afford because of your bad decision. See the things we do really do affect one another.

I smoke lightly, so I know I may very well get cancer and have to suck it up. If I got HIV from condom failure, I would certainly feel bad about dying, but I would feel better than if I got if from just being too stupid to use them in the first place. I like to tell myself that at least I take reasonable precautions to protect my own life, but that's just me. Oh, and I DON'T drive with bad
drivers. I have no problem correcting someone's bad driving judgement while I'm in the car, or just asking to be let out if I think there's no hope. See, I DO want to live to be old.


*No, you never have the right to do or believe anything without expecting verbal conflict- NOTHING! This is the fatal flaw in everyone's thinking who doesn't understand what free speech means. It means EVERYONE'S speech is free- those who agree with you and those who dissent. It is a logical fallacy to think your posts should go unchallenged, because you are presuming to limit what SOMEONE ELSE says, which isn't under your control.

 

[panthera]

And you just like to dismiss that which you can't argue against.

Don't we all? Seriously, I really am not sure what you wanted to say. Can you try again for silly little me? Write really slowly, so I can read it.