Barebacked against your wishes

dolfette

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Even though you may post in a certain area, it doesn't dictate who can respond.
i would not have seen the other thread, so i am glad it was posted as a women's issue topic.
It's the same effect as telling a woman you don't have an STD when you know you do, or emotionally blackmailing them into sex...It's lying and manipulation and "strong-arming" for sex and it is, therefore: rape

Not that i'm a woman or my opinion really matters in this section of LPSG but I have a few friends who told me this happened to them and personally it disgusts me.
with straight sex there's also often the risk of pregnancy.
 

Bob Ross

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with straight sex there's also often the risk of pregnancy.

Indeed, which makes it all the more worse...I was just trying to think of a hypothetical situation which was analogous to the OP's presented issue/situation
 

dolfette

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There are a lot of things here that disgust me as well. I don't believe any of the OP's topics come from a place of actual concern and that's how I treat them. You don't like, tough noogies. Put me on block.
and you imagine the OP is the only woman who will read this thread?

i have had it happen to me twice.

i do not like to talk about it because the second time a man did this i became pregnant and later miscarried. it's an extremely traumatic thing for me to talk about.

i'm sure you think that my until that moment perfect man was an arsehole i should have been able to predict. that it's entirely my own fault.

yes, the whole guilt over an unwanted baby dying inside me and bleeding out of my body is 'tough noogies'. the tears i still shed when i think about it are 'tough noogies'. the years of blaming myself because i did not want that baby so maybe i caused it are 'tough noogies'.

what a wonderfully compassionate person you are, taking sexual assault so seriously.
 

B_subgirrl

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i'm disgusted to read this sort of victim blaming attitude here.

it's not ok.

Point taken dolf. You're right, it was unfair of me. Even the most perceptive of us can pick the wrong guys sometimes.

I shouldn't have said it, and I apologise.


Not that i'm a woman or my opinion really matters in this section of LPSG but I have a few friends who told me this happened to them and personally it disgusts me.

Male input is just as welcome as female input, as long as that input is relevant. Yours was. Don't be scared to post here or think that your opinions count for less :smile:.
 

B_chinagirl4u2

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I must admit I never thought of it as rape as I had consented to sex. With the ones I discovered during the act, I simply put another on one them.
The concerning ones were the after the act discovery, filled me with anger, fear, loathing and distgust at the betrayal, made worse by some when their reaction was too smile.
 

dolfette

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Point taken dolf. You're right, it was unfair of me. Even the most perceptive of us can pick the wrong guys sometimes.

I shouldn't have said it, and I apologise.
thank you, sub.
it's easy to make a crass comment without thinking it through properly. i'm sure i've done it on occassion.
i'm just glad it doesn't reflect how you really feel.
 

dolfette

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I must admit I never thought of it as rape as I had consented to sex. With the ones I discovered during the act, I simply put another on one them.
The concerning ones were the after the act discovery, filled me with anger, fear, loathing and distgust at the betrayal, made worse by some when their reaction was too smile.
at the very least is a sexual assault.
your reactions are perfectly natural in those situations.
 

Tattooed Goddess

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thank you, sub.
it's easy to make a crass comment without thinking it through properly. i'm sure i've done it on occassion.
i'm just glad it doesn't reflect how you really feel.

I'll admit I almost wrote a couple of things that could have offended you but I'm now glad I didn't as I was not aware of your story or putting it in a perspective of how many other women could share your story. I think saying some of these things we've thought of in this thread was a normal reaction to what we had read. But if we maintained those emotions after hearing in detail what one woman has had to endure, such as yourself, we would truly be crass.
 

dolfette

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I'll admit I almost wrote a couple of things that could have offended you but I'm now glad I didn't as I was not aware of your story or putting it in a perspective of how many other women could share your story. I think saying some of these things we've thought of in this thread was a normal reaction to what we had read. But if we maintained those emotions after hearing in detail what one woman has had to endure, such as yourself, we would truly be crass.
thank you, red.

this is why i keep coming back to this site. there are some remarkably good people here. there will always be arseholes out there but i know that there will always be people i can rely on to be understanding.

it means a lot to me.
 

B_chinagirl4u2

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I'm very sorry it has happened to you too Dolfette and the consequences you suffered make me feel so sad for you.

Its a horrible thing, in a way I'm regretting posting this thread
 

dolfette

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I'm very sorry it has happened to you too Dolfette and the consequences you suffered make me feel so sad for you.

Its a horrible thing, in a way I'm regretting posting this thread
i'm actually very glad you posted this thread.
this is something i've never really talked about before. it was a long time ago and i've been bottling it up for 15 years. it feels good to let it out. something of a release. i don't cry often enough.

thank you for starting such a thought provoking thread and thank you for your kind words.
 

matt121matt121

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I saw that and thought she had made both of them at first. I hope it doesn't take away from it.
to

No I don't think it will.. as they are aimed at different audiences.. as one is aimed at primarily Male to Male behavior and the the other is aimed at more the female perspective..

yes and it got me thinking about my experiences and maybe others

That thread was for men, this ones about girls.

Even though you may post in a certain area, it doesn't dictate who can respond.

the more discussion on certain topics the better

i would not have seen the other thread, so i am glad it was posted as a women's issue topic.

with straight sex there's also often the risk of pregnancy.

yea pregnancy is a whole different topic.. but there are health concerns for all parties when this happens..


As someone mentioned in the similar thread.. this can happen in reverse too.. I mean the woman can remove the condom from the man without his consent (though this is more noticable to the man I'd think..

Just as a guy mentioned that his bottom took the condom off of him when he was riding him.. so this can happen in all types of different ways.. though its the easiest for the guy to get away with in a more dominate sexual position when their partner is the most relaxed just enjoying what is happening and allows their mind to zone out..

i know this is one reason why I'm extra careful who I'm with since I enjoy sex the most when I can just zone out and relax and enjoy..
 

Bob Ross

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i'm actually very glad you posted this thread.
this is something i've never really talked about before. it was a long time ago and i've been bottling it up for 15 years. it feels good to let it out. something of a release. i don't cry often enough.

thank you for starting such a thought provoking thread and thank you for your kind words.

Not that i ever talked to you personally but I can say with confidence as someone who has been on this site (off and on) for over 2 years that every real member here loves you and appreciates your posts and your wit...Once you pick out the assholes/trolls its easy to see who the honest members here are and you look forward to their posts...There are alot of people who have great respect for you here and you probably don't realize it.

Honesty is tough to come by on an internet site but you know it when you see it. And, in turn, you appreciate it.
 

Enid

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I'm very sorry it has happened to you too Dolfette and the consequences you suffered make me feel so sad for you.

Its a horrible thing, in a way I'm regretting posting this thread

please don't regret it, this is a good topic. i do understand, or can at least conceive, the horrible nature of this topic. and i get your misgivings about it. but it can be good to talk it out, so kudos (accolades) to you for starting a discourse!

:smile:
 
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TheBestYouCan

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I know in my experience I have had a condom break on me and wasn't aware of it until it was too late. I was just as scared as my gf at the time (not because of disease but because of the possibility of pregnancy). Plan B the next day.

But I can imagine on the guy side what it would be like if a woman I was involved with told me she was on BC and then sprang on me later that she wasn't. That would definitely be a violation of consensual sex, at least to me.

I can't imagine removing a condom on purpose, however. That is just so sleazy and gross. I hope anyone who encounters that behavior, at the very least, abandons that relationship entirely.
 

dolfette

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Not that i ever talked to you personally but I can say with confidence as someone who has been on this site (off and on) for over 2 years that every real member here loves you and appreciates your posts and your wit...Once you pick out the assholes/trolls its easy to see who the honest members here are and you look forward to their posts...There are alot of people who have great respect for you here and you probably don't realize it.

Honesty is tough to come by on an internet site but you know it when you see it. And, in turn, you appreciate it.

i don't know what to say...
thank you xx
 

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Nope, never has happened to me. This one dude did TRY to be slick and NOT put it on, but I MADE sure that sucker was ON him the entire time.

There was NO WAY IN HELL, I was getting pregnant or getting any STD's or AIDS from him.
 

Bob Ross

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i don't know what to say...
thank you xx

Oh, c'mon. All the real members on here love you and you know it...That's why you came back. It takes guts to reveal intimate things about your past and everyone here appreciates it. That's why your an LPSG legend...

To the OP's point: when I was in college I remember a friend bragging about slipping his condom off...2 of my friends played along ("haha, awesome man") but me and my roomate just looked at eachother and felt repulsed. I also had 2 female friends who told me they were nervous about being pregnant because they realized afterward that (mysteriously) the condom they put on their partner was gone aftwer the deed was done...Date rape, in all of its forms, is very, very common.
 

B_chinagirl4u2

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Oh, c'mon. All the real members on here love you and you know it...That's why you came back. It takes guts to reveal intimate things about your past and everyone here appreciates it. That's why your an LPSG legend...

To the OP's point: when I was in college I remember a friend bragging about slipping his condom off...2 of my friends played along ("haha, awesome man") but me and my roomate just looked at eachother and felt repulsed. I also had 2 female friends who told me they were nervous about being pregnant because they realized afterward that (mysteriously) the condom they put on their partner was gone aftwer the deed was done...Date rape, in all of its forms, is very, very common.


Bob, your imput from the male perspective and honesty about behaviour/ thinking in this thread has been of great value, thank you for posting