I'm going to sound like a complete asshole in this. So just hear it out and keep a positive mindset....
Point blank, spousal abuse is wrong. There is no reason for it. If you are feeling like you want to sew your significant other up in the bed sheets and bash their brains in with a cast iron skillet and drop them off in the river, YOU ARE WRONG AND YOU NEED TO LEAVE THE SITUATION. Should your thoughts like that surface, they are enough these days to convict you of conspiracy to commit murder.
Now if you as a woman or as a man, decide that it is better to just slap around your significant other, that is wrong as well. But using is using a hand as wrong as using a weapon? Sure, but its not as bad in the minds eye actually.....Slap around an innocent woman with your bare hands, as a man, and you're black balled as a brutalizer....Do it as a woman and you're just a crazy bitch....Doing it with a weapon however.....That's assault and with a deadly weapon 101. You could even go as far as inciting Mayhem. You'll end up in the Pokey for that. Now you're on to bigger fish in this nuttiness...
God gave us the right, man and woman, to defend ourselves to the fullest extent of life and liberty. If you, man or woman, come at me in a threatening manner, we're going to have serious issues, but I won't hit a woman, no no that would be bad juju....HOWEVER. If you come at me WITH A WEAPON....I will defend myself and my families well being, TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW POSSIBLE....If you come at me with a knife or a hammer or a lamp or whatever....I can't help if you find the bottom of the stair case, the hard way.
But I'll never hit anyone who didn't have it coming to them.