battered husbands

D_yabbadabbadont

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A year, a whole fucking year.

I was locked in a house, more often than not a single room within that house. I wasn't left alone for a second. I was beaten, abused and raped repeatedly. The phone line was cut.

If there had been a way out, I'd have bloody well taken it.

There wasn't.

That's fucked up girl. Not a lot I can say on that. There are some real scumbags in this world.
Did the cunt get what he deserved?
 

helgaleena

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I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a girlfriend.

Funny thing is, I didn't realize how crazy it was until I met my wife.


Exactly. This happened to me. My sister confronted me and said something, and of course I didn't even realize anything was being done to me without trying to see it her way... when you are in it it's the new 'normal.'
 

Infernal

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I saw a few episodes of physical abuse between my mother and step father and I've made it clean to anyone I get involved with that it isn't not acceptable EVER. My partner raised his hand to me in anger once during an argument. My reaction was such that he knows it will NEVER happen again and should he feel that level of anger again, he needs to leave the house, not just the room.... and call before he comes home to find out if he still has a place to live.

A friend of mine was emotionally and occasionally physically abused by his wife. She was a deeply unhappy woman with a slew of mental problems. He was too good, for his own good. He said he made a commitment to her for better or worse and he was going to stick with it. He suffered in silence a lot and would call me when he needed someone to talk him down from the ledge so to speak. She took her own life a few weeks before he was scheduled to retire. The poor man called me crying... both upset that his spouse was gone, and relieved for the same reason.
 

shaved7

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I too have first hand experience with this, not something I'd like to discuss right now, especially publicly, just making aware that it does happen, and in most cases as stated by others no one would take it seriously anyway, unless it was life threatening maybe, but all a woman like this has to do is injure herself and claim self defense.
 

Drifterwood

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I work as a lawyer in the UK i can say the police take it seriously but the voluntary agencies who are meant to help the vicitms do nt. Some refuse even to help male victims.

These people will Index. There is also an organisation called Broken Rainbow for the GLBT community. I am not sure whether they get any State funding. It doesn't give politicians the same glow as repeating the tired mantras that upset Quiet Man so much.

When Dolfie started a thread about male rape victims, I checked out Rape Crisis. They had nothing that I could see about male victims.
 

Drifterwood

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Mankind now estimate that one in six men in the UK will suffer partner violence.

This does not include the other forms of abuse such as sexual, emotional, financial etc.. I am afraid that I would say that the stats for any type of abuse would be more than half.

What worries me is that this will become or has become culturally acceptable.
 

omgiswatdeysay

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I'm going to sound like a complete asshole in this. So just hear it out and keep a positive mindset....

Point blank, spousal abuse is wrong. There is no reason for it. If you are feeling like you want to sew your significant other up in the bed sheets and bash their brains in with a cast iron skillet and drop them off in the river, YOU ARE WRONG AND YOU NEED TO LEAVE THE SITUATION. Should your thoughts like that surface, they are enough these days to convict you of conspiracy to commit murder.

Now if you as a woman or as a man, decide that it is better to just slap around your significant other, that is wrong as well. But using is using a hand as wrong as using a weapon? Sure, but its not as bad in the minds eye actually.....Slap around an innocent woman with your bare hands, as a man, and you're black balled as a brutalizer....Do it as a woman and you're just a crazy bitch....Doing it with a weapon however.....That's assault and with a deadly weapon 101. You could even go as far as inciting Mayhem. You'll end up in the Pokey for that. Now you're on to bigger fish in this nuttiness...

God gave us the right, man and woman, to defend ourselves to the fullest extent of life and liberty. If you, man or woman, come at me in a threatening manner, we're going to have serious issues, but I won't hit a woman, no no that would be bad juju....HOWEVER. If you come at me WITH A WEAPON....I will defend myself and my families well being, TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW POSSIBLE....If you come at me with a knife or a hammer or a lamp or whatever....I can't help if you find the bottom of the stair case, the hard way.

But I'll never hit anyone who didn't have it coming to them.
 

ManlyBanisters

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Spousal abuse is not about being angry with the other half - it is far more complicated than that. It's control, conditioning, frustration, sometimes mental illness is involved. Psychological and verbal abuse are different manifestations of essentially the same thing.
 

Drifterwood

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It upsets me greatly that men sit and take it. My friend has suffered just about every type of abuse for the last ten years. Yet he won't report her. He will now be taken to the cleaners in the divorce court and she will certainly fuck him over with their kids.

If the roles were reversed he would have been out on his ass, maybe even prosecuted, have restraining orders etc etc. At the end of the day though, if he won't report it, nothing will happen to her. However the feeling remains that women abusers are treated less severely under the law than men. i may be wrong and am happy to stand corrected, but you almost never hear of women having restraining orders to anything like the degree that male abusers have, nor suffering the loss of marriage property rights, even though we now know that perpetrators are pretty much 50/50.

The misconception is that it is all about physical force and therefore it has been easy to consider the issue a gender thing, but it is not a physical thing, it may be manifested physically, but it is not about gender, it is about character.
 

ColonialBoy

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There are violent women who attack other than their husbands. I briefly wrote about my sister here http://www.lpsg.org/3883983-post38.html

She
- steals pension money from her mother and later father
- forced her mother to reverse mortgage her house, thus sterling her life savings
- bashed her mother, father and myself; I have been able to get video of this because she will say it never happened
- the police do nothing because she is female


I very a strongly suggest reading Amazon.com: People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil (9780684848594): M. Scott Peck: Books
 

D_Sal_Manilla

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have you been the victim of female on male domestic abuse?
yes

have you witnessed this happening?
yes

what are your thoughts?
my older sister always used to hit me when i was younger. she even told me to kill myself once. i remember that when ever i hit here back, my dad would hit me till i was black and blue and my sister would just get a lecture.
I grew to hate my sister and to this day i feel some type of resentment.

it true that there is a fine line.

I think that a man should never hit a woman
but a women should only be allowed to slap a man if he insulted her.
 
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omgiswatdeysay

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I think that a man should never hit a woman
but a women should only be allowed to slap a man if he insulted her.

Wow....Well then..You can get the crap slapped out of you if you want. But I'd rather diffuse the situation or just leave. I ain't taking the hit because she didn't like what I had to say. FUCK THAT!
 

Gecko4lif

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I had a abusive girlfriend at one point. I was fine with it because it reminded me of my abusive mother.


Eventually it got old though and I left.
 

dolfette

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but a women should only be allowed to slap a man if he insulted her.
no... i'll tell you what i tell my kids.
you can be physical when you need to defend yourself but you can't go around turning verbal disagreements into physical ones. if you start the violence then you will get little sympathy from me if they hurt you back.
 

helgaleena

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Congratulations to Vladimir and Gecko for surviving and getting away. Now Gecko has got the right solution.

That was how it was for me too, with the caveat that-- I first had to realize I didn't need to feel bad. THEN it got old.
 

hud01

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The fact that your wife was a black belt is not the norm. Don't posit your particular situation as though it is the standard against wbich all such situations should be measured. It isn't. I wasn't offended by the idiocy of a post such as yours. But I won't be chastised in such an ignorant fashion without responding back. If you want to disagree with me, fine. But do it with some decorum.
Actually you deserved to be chastised even more because you failed to understand how many women abuse men. Decorum...this is the internet. I would have been worse with you if you had been in my home.
 

monel

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Actually you deserved to be chastised even more because you failed to understand how many women abuse men.

No I didn't fail in that regard and if you had've read my posts properly you would have seen that I said nothing about the extent of female on male abuse.

Decorum...this is the internet. I would have been worse with you if you had been in my home.

I'm not surprised you conduct yourself as poorly in real life as you do here. I dare say my fortunes could never be so dismal as to place me in your home.
 
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