Batteries not included

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Novaboy, Apr 29, 2007.

  1. Novaboy

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    I've alway found that disclaimers and product labels like "Batteries not included" to be somewhat funny.

    Does any one else have a favourite such phrase?

    One of my current favourites is seen on food packages such as cereal. It usually says something under the photo like....

    "Flakes enlarged to show texture."

    God knows why I find these humourous.

    Novaboy:rolleyes:
     
  2. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I always used to get so pissed off when I heard Batteries not included on commercials. I remember actually yelling at the tv, saying " NO BATTERIES INCLUDED" I didn't know what it meant, but I just got so tired of people telling me I couldn't have something.:smile:
     
  3. Novaboy

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    Better than batteries with "toy not included"!
     
  4. precumstrings

    precumstrings New Member

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    the next time your in line at the conveniance store... pick up a slim-jim and read the "Contents", pay particulare attention to the 2nd ingrediant. :)
     
  5. Novaboy

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    I don't know what a "slim-jim" is. Perhaps we don't have them in Canada.

    Speaking of ingredients.............

    "May contain" is another phrase I like. I always ask my self...."Why don't they know what their product contains?"

    Novaboy
     
  6. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Slim Jim= those "beef" sticks that are at gas stations by the counters. They are called SlimJims.
     
  7. Novaboy

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    I hate to even imagine what the second ingredient could be!

    Novaboy
     
  8. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    May contain small parts...
     
  9. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Beef intestine, or salt.
     
  10. ManlyBanisters

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    SlimJims - hmmm. We have Pepperami in this part of the world - with the very honest slogan "Pepperami - it's a bit of an animal"
    Sorry.., bit ot there
     
  11. Rikter8

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    Slim Jim's are also what are used to Unlock cars from the outside.
    Yes, you have them in Canada
     
  12. agnslz

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    You caught me about two weeks too late, but I remember a store advertisement in my Sunday paper which had one of the most retardedly obvious "does not come with" disclaimers. I can't remember exactly what the things were, but it was about as obvious as saying that underwear doesn't come with the models included.
     
  13. Belly_Dancer

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    I work in a medical laboratory, and one of my all-time favorites is the labeling of dessicants.

    In just about every type of chemical or lab reagent we open, there's some form of packet, cylinder, etc. containing granules that absorb moisture so the chemical won't be affected.

    Every single one of these dessicants is labeled "DO NOT EAT."

    Hmmm....let's see...I'm wearing a lab coat and gloves, I'm in a biohazardous environment, I just opened a box containing chemicals...oh, what's this? Looks tasty! I think I'll have a snack! :rolleyes:

    :wtf:
     
  14. Chuck64

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    My "bestest" hag has a saying: "Let's take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem fix itself."
     
  15. IntoxicatingToxin

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    I used to own one of those big long lighters... like a foot long. My uncle called it a grill lighter, I called it a crack lighter. I don't really know what it's for. But anyway, the warning label said "Flammable"... no shit, Sherlock?
     
  16. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Do Vibrators come with batteries?
     
  17. Novaboy

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    I'm glad you brought this one up. If no one had mentioned this, I was going to add it. It's those little packages of cilica (sp?) sand that absorb moisture. "Do Not Eat" I've always loved that one too.
     
  18. IntoxicatingToxin

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    Mine did, but not all do. Mine requires funky batteries tho.
     
  19. Novaboy

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    I've notice in catalogues, that the fine print states things like "the objects on the bookcase pictured are not included. I know what you mean about those oh so obvious statements. This is why I love these disclaimers.

    Novaboy
     
  20. Novaboy

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    I once read, on a bottle of aspirin, that "Total contents can harm health" As if no one could figure that out!

    Novaboy
     
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