Be gentle please

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Imported, Oct 15, 2003.

  1. Imported

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    fourdeg420: First of all, this is my first post; I'm usually not one for doing things like this, (I'm kinda shy) but I'm in a bind. I love my boyfriend very much but he is just too big to fit inside me. Before him, I had never been with anybody whose penis went past their belly button when erect. Well, his beats that when it's soft. He's very sensitive about it (I guess his dad used to tease him) so he won't let me measure it, but trust me, it's HUGE. He's the only guy that has actually talked to me like a person and the stuff he thinks about just blows my mind. I feel petty that I put so much importance sex, but he has such a negative attitude towards it; I just think that he would enjoy it if I gave him a positive experience to work with. Please help, any advice would be welcome.
     
  2. Imported

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    rainfletcher: fourdeg,

    Hello, my name is Rain, and I've posted pretty extensively on the problems your boyfriend is having. Click on my name and then read through my posts.

    I tried to measure to my belly button and see how long that was to try and get a gauge for your boyfriends size. I'm 5'8"ish and I think it's about 7" to my belly button, which maybe makes him about the same size as me, maybe a little bigger. So let me reassure you that you should be able to take him.

    The problem, I'm sure, is more in his attitude towards sex. God, can I relate to this! As I said, read through my posts and you'll get a better sense for that.

    So first, you sound like an incredible woman for posting this question and wanting to help your boyfriend, and in that respect, you sound very much like my girlfriend. What she did for me, was to tell me ALL THE TIME that my cock was beautiful, the most beautiful cock in the world. ANd the way she said it, I reallybelieved her. She'd talk about the pronounced ridge around my head and how much she loved it, how she loves the feel, the texture, the smell, the taste, the shape....you get the idea. The point was to get me to the opitn where I was comfortable with my dick, and that there was nothing wrong with it.

    Then, you have to let him know that sex is not a bad thing...initially, this will mean alot of attention on your part - give him head for long periods, stroke and play with him (all the whilel telling him how beautiful it all is). For my girlflriend, this stuff is also arousing for her, so it helped get her ready too. Slowly, he should come around to seeing what a beautiful thing sex really is.

    I could probably go on for pages, but I hope you get the gist of my perspective. If you need additional adivice or help, please feel free to PM me.

    Good luck!

    Rain
     
  3. Imported

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    ORCABOMBER: Hi Fourdeg, thanks for posting. Rain's a good man. I'd take his advice, and well, please drop in if you ever need to talk about subjcets in general.
     
  4. Imported

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    fourdeg420: Thank you very very much Rain, I was so scared that no one would respond, I have just been staring at my screen and neglecting my homework (I don't have school or work on wednesday, just worked out that way). It's just so nice to get some positive feedback from someone.
    On another note: I guess I should go into more detail. My guy is 6'4", 215 but he is the most gentle person, being that he is self-concious about all aspects of his size. As far as his penis, I had meant that when it is soft it lays a few inches past his belly button; hard is a whole 'nother matter. The only thing I could really compare it to is my forearm (but it's a little longer than that I think), but the length isn't the problem. When he holds it, his hand goes a little more than halfway around; my hand however doesn't reach the halfway point. Giving him a hand job is a problem for my dainty hands, let alone a B/J. When I first saw it I was definitely suprised, he hid it very well.
    He will be so sweet when I ask him to make love to me: he makes sure to pleasure me first, we take it really slow, we've learned thatwe like silicone based lube best (I am after all a resourceful girl), but after two or three hours of trying he gets discouraged. He's never been the "I told you so," type, and I know that he wants to make me happy. I don't know, but I don't think he understands that part of making me happy is, being able to make him happy. Again, thank you for the support, though I continue to talk your ear off.
     
  5. Imported

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    rainfletcher: Alright, Fourdeg. It appears that I underestimated his size, and therefore your problem. I'm +/- 9", and he's a WHOLE lot bigger than me, heh-heh. Sounds as though there's a tad more real estate to his belly button than mine (being 6'4") ;)

    So, am I to understand you CANNOT achieve any penetration at all? I'm not sure what specific advice to give you, other than to read through some of the other posts other women have raised on this issue. I know there's someone named beckyinfl (something like that), who had a similar problem...read through that thread, maybe. I think her boyfriend was 17x10 or somethign like that....take heart, she managed to make it work.

    This members on this board are awesome, fourdeg. It may take a day or so, but there are some incredible women on this board who will no doubt be chiming in shortly. :)
     
  6. Imported

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    awellhungboi: welcome, fourdeg!

    Rest assured, you've come to the right place. :)

    I think Rain gave some good advice--and also I once some of the ladies auxiliary here start logging on they'll be able to give you some wise thoughts as well. For my two cents I'd just like to say a lot of times really really big guys do feel self-conscious, or have issues about their endowments. Has your boyfriend logged onto this site with you? Maybe you should read some of the posts together. Talk about it, let him know how much you care about him. Then just relax, take it slow, have fun with each other sexually. Rome wasn't built in a day, it may take time for your body to be able to begin to accomodate him.

    No matter what, though, he sounds like a good guy, and you seem like a cool person, so there shouldn't be anything you can't get through together. :)

    If you haven't already, you may want to look through some of the threads in the sex with a large penis board. Lots of good information there!
     
  7. Imported

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    longtimelurker: As for your oral comment earlier, I'd imagine that he completely realises that oral in the sense that 99% of people mean oral is just not happening. You're just going to have to treat it with licks, passionate kisses and the like instead. If you treat it like the most important thing in your world at that point I'm sure he'll appreciate it more than you'd think! :)
     
  8. Imported

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    sammygirly: Welcome fellow sister!

    Peter that was some great advice - suggesting he log in here with her. We often forget that being well-endowed can be burdensome, perhaps embarassing - but then we remember where we are and realize that obviously it's an affliction requiring support.

    So bring him here! I post with my spouse - He brought me here actually. It's very helpful for us both.

    This has been discussed a few times over the many zillions of posts and I encourage you to seek them out. One thread called "bobyfriend too big" (and yes that typo is on purpose) should help you out a great deal. As was mentioned, she had a very well endowed partner - and we gave the best advice we could.

    Basically - the best advice I can give is patience and love. There's nothing that says you have to take it all - and there's nothing that says things have to happen instantly. You'll find your pace.

    Feel free to IM me whenever you'd like. I'm always around.

    ~leans over and pins a "Ladie's Auxillary Member" pin to fourdeg's lapel~
     
  9. Imported

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    fourdeg420: First of all, to quote Bjork "I am a greatful grape fruit!" My boyfriend has always gone out of his way to make me feel special, beautiful and unique. Before, it made me feel bad because I wanted to be able to do the same for him. Unfortunately I'm used to guys that just want to hear that they are good in bed or have big penises, I guess I just didn't know that there were better ways of making my guy feel special. I really realized what a special person he really is, and that I have been acting kind'a superficial. Sex is important, but not all sex is intercorse(I must sound so young saying this, but I'm only 20 so it's okay). We have a lot of fun doing other things, but when I start stressing on the penetration it stops being fun.

    Last night, all I had in my mind was that I wanted to make him feel the same way he makes me feel. At first, he felt uncomfortable that I was lavishing so much attention on him, but he didn't protest once he saw how much it turned me on. After an amazing night of just being close and affectionate, I felt better than I have- well... in a long time. He asked me the next morning, "How did you make me feel so wonderful? I didn't even know I could feel that good." Well, when I told him that I had some help, his face turned beet red. I explained to him, "You are beautiful, every part of you. Even if you don't think so, I do and I have found a whole community of understanding people that agree with me." He smiled, he hugged me, and told me that he felt better about himself than he ever had before. I can't even quantify how that made me feel.

    I don't know if I'll be able to convince him to post (I can barely get him to participate in conversation), but he has read what your replies and he feels that you are the friends he didn't know he had. Thank you for bringing some sunshine to two people that have been living in the rain most of their lives.

    Brittainy & Justin
    (not Spears or Timberlake)

    P. S. sammygirly, I am honored to join the ranks of women who love their well endowed men.
     
  10. Imported

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    rainfletcher:
    You know, living in the Rain isn't so bad...I've been Rain for 15 years, now...LOL.

    Thanks for your response! People come and post and get some advice or other, but it's always great to hear how things turn out. I agree with you and your boyfriend, LPSG has been such a positive in my life. I especially like the way you put it, "the friends I never knew I had"....

    I'll drink to that. Raises tall glass of Jameson to the cieling
     
  11. Imported

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    7x6andchg: *clink*

    (I love Jameson)

    fourdeg-

    I can't say anything that hasn't already been said, but I would like to post just to commend you for having the courage to post here...and hopefully Justin will join us, too! I know sometimes it can be overwhelming dealing with a ....board...of this size.

    I, too, am honored by your boyfriend's comment. It's nice to know that this little corner of the internet can bring happiness to what sounds like a very nice couple.

    7x6&C
     
  12. Imported

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    janec2000uk: Hi fourdeg420,

    I understand your plight. I have a girlfriend who's husband is, by her acconts, enormous. She said that it's so big that for the first few months of their relatinship, she 'spotted' a bit of blood every time they made love. The good, and hopefully encouraging news for you is, she evntually adjusted to his size, and the two of them made some adjustments in their lovemaking -- more time, more lubrication, etc.

    So a happy resolution to their difficulties. She says she still grimaces once in awhile because of his size, but that for the most part, an initially unworkable situation now yields pleasure on both of their parts, and their sexual relationship is a healthy one.

    -- J
     
  13. Imported

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    nacard01: I am a little out of my element since main the female perspective is in play here but I will give you a perspective that my last girlfriend and I shared.

    I am 5'9 and 13"x7"
    She is 5'2 and 130lbs or so.

    The first time we ever had sex it was a romantic evening where we spent the whole day together, went to dinner, watched a movie on the couch. When we ended up going to the bedroom she got undressed down to her bra and underwear. I went into the bathroom, after I was done I took my pants off but left my t-shirt on. The room was dark so she didnt realize my size until I laid down. When things started to progress and I got erect she came across my penis with her arm. She proceeded to realize its size with her hand. She sighed and said outloud as I distinctly remember, "There is no way". I said that is fine, I can't change who I am. 15-20 minutes went by and she decided that she wanted to try. I looked at the clock at 12:30am when this started......at 1:20 I finally managed to penetrate her. Over the next 30 minutes I got slightly farther in but not much. She was in pain and I decided that before we tried again I would need to pleasure her first with my fingers as well as get some serious lubrication going. That night we didnt have any. The next day when we woke up we were both lying their naked still. She said she was sorry for ruining the evening. I told her that sometimes things take more work for them to happen. The next time it was still difficult but I managed after 45 minutes to get 3/4 of my size inside. She said she enjoyed it immensely and it was great however I know she wasn't being completely honest. I could see her facial expressions and I know it hurt her also.

    I dont know if this post will help or not but I felt like giving my perspective.
     
  14. Imported

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    holly38g: How big is your gfs husband? I have never met a man who was too big...though a few I had to work at at first to accomodate them. But after the first time or two, I handled even the biggest ones I have seen pretty easily.
     
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