Bear Codes, Hanky Codes, Etc.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Lex, Dec 25, 2005.

  1. Lex

    Lex
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    I have gotten a number of very polite PMs about my bear codes and figured that I would answer here. I also have buds who ask how I know someone is a top, bottom or versatile, or if they are into water sports, etc. Ah, the hidden codes.

    For armbands (and hanky pocket positions)
    • Left = Top
    • Right = Bottom
    • Both = Versatile
    As for my bear code (I believe that half the fun is decyphering it). Here is a resource:

    The most obvious characteristic of a bear is understandibly his facial fur. So, that is the most logical place to begin. Using a capital "B" to denote "BEAR", we have added a sub-class characterizing "beard type" which combines a bear's beard's length, thickness, and overall "keptness", numbered from 0 to 9 and defined in the following way:
    • 0 - (Little/no beard, or incredibly sparse) Such a beard is the absolute minimum that could ever be classified as a beard. We're talking 5-o'clock shadow, here! And yes, we are of the opinon that the beardless can still find company among the ursines! 1 - (VERY slight beard) This is the kind of beard that people have who want to have a beard, but can't grow one. Or someone who is contantly at the 1-week phase.
      2 - (Slight beard) A beard kept VERY short at all times, or thinned out.
      3 - (Thin beard) A beard in all respects but kept thin and short.
      4 - (Mostly full) A beard that is full except for a few noticable bald spots, or kept trimmed.
      5 - (Full beard) A full beard not generally trimmed, though not generally bushy. May have a few bald spots on inspection. Usually full and roundish beards fall into this category.
      6 - (Very full) A full beard, not trimmed. May be slightly bushy but very full. Thick, full beards (moreso than B5's) are B6's. B6's beards also generally are higher up on the cheeks than B5's.
      7 - (Longish/bushy beards) A full beard or slightly thin beard with longish fur. This beard is not trimmed and does come away from the chin.
      8 - (Very Long Beards) These beards are usually very bushy and haven't seen clippers for a very long time.
      9 - (Belt-buckle-grazing long beards) The prototype is ZZ Top. Need we say more
    • f - "The FUR factor". :
      • f++ WAY above average fur
        f+ above average fur
        f furry in a bearish sense
        (none) "neutral", avg. fur from a sample population of
        both bears and non-bears f- below average fur
        f-- WAY below average fur--"Nair-smooth to the max!"
      t - "the TALLNESS factor".
      • t++ a virtual giant bear
        t+ taller than average
        t tall but not very tall
        (none) average height
        t- shorter than average
        t-- a bear of very small stature
      w - "the WEIGHT factor".
      • w++ a round bear/BIG TEDDY bear
        w+ a big boned bear
        w bear with a tummy
        (none) average weight for frame
        w- a thin bear (otters!)
        w-- a bony bear
      c - "the CUB factor". For the junior up and coming bears.
      • c++ complete daddy's boy
        c+ definite cub
        c cub tendencies
        (none) not "cubbish"
        c- looks like a cub but isn't
      d - "the DADDY factor". For the cubs, etc.
      • d++ DADDY with a vengenance (even his parents call him SIR!)
        d+ definite DADDY
        d daddyish tendencies
        (none) not a daddy
        d- looks like a daddy but isn't
      Note there are now also HYBRID classes "cd" and "dc":
      • cd A cub with "daddy tendencies"... Sort of like a "grown up cub".
        dc A daddy with cub-like tendencies/features.
        dc- More daddy than cub
        d+c REAL daddyish and also VERY cubbish
        (etc.)
      g - "the GROPE factor": This is the amount one likes to be touched or pawed etc.
      • g++ Love to grope/paw/touch etc. Will attack without
        warning. Gives hugs to hot otherwise unknown bears on the street in open daylight.
        g+ likes to be touched most of the time
        g Generally outgoing with ursine affection, a little more reserved about place/person...
        (none) Average amount of receptivity to being touched
        g- Generally doesn't like people to invade his personal aura/lair.
        g-- You touch my bod, I break your face!
      k - "the KINKY factor"... for those who dare.
      • k++ likes just about EVERYTHING... we mean *EVERYTHING*!!!
        k+ picks and choose according to likes; willing to consider new ideas
        k open minded. Might choose SOME things on the "menu"
        (none) kinky neutral
        k- has definite ABSOLUTE dislikes
        k-- totally vanilla
      s - "SEX (ok, SLUT) factor.
      In SOME people's bear codes, "s" might really mean "k"
      (since "k" WAS originally "s" in the earlier versions...).
      • s-- strictly monogamously/relationship oriented. No outside affairs, or in some cases, sex ONLY in relationships
        s- relationship oriented. Perfers a formal sort of relationship over playing around, however the scope of the word relationship is not defined here.
        (none) relationship neutral
        s neutral wrt to relationships/monogamy.
        s+ will form relationships which are generally open-ended
        s++ strictly polygamous, prefers very open relationships ONLY.
      m - "the MUSCLE factor"... for those who like meat on them bones.
      • (N.B. "semi-"official --- may be dropped w/ V2.0) m++ Arnold Schwartzineger is that you?
        m+ definitely works out or is a ranchhand
        m some definition/blue collar
        (none) muscle neutral
      e - "the ENDOWMENT factor"... sometimes a size queen's gotta do
      • what a size queen's gotta do.
        (N.B. "semi-"official --- may be dropped w/ V2.0) e++ gets complete respect even from straight men
        e+ gets attention
        e noteworthy
        (none) endowment neutral
      r - "the RUGGED/OUTDOOR factor".
      • r++ "Grizzly Adams"
        r+ Flannel/jeans/C&W really *are* second skin
        r Spends some time outdoors/camping
        (none) rugged neutral
        r- prefers indoor-type activities (techie or 3-piece)
        r-- never seen in the outdoors at all.
      p - "the PECULIAR factor"
      • p Some idiosyncracies --- no judgement made to whether these are "good" or "not so good"
      q - "the *Q* factor (ahem)"
      • q for bears who are out - WAY out - and love every minute of it. Stereotypes be damned, break out the chiffon and everything else, because girlfriend, as Auntie Mame says "Life is a banquet and most poor bastards are starving to death!" (For the stunned reading this - yes, Virginia, "q" is a GOOD thing just like "t-- and t++ are GOOD things", "w-- and w++ are GOOD things"; nothing negative should be associated with the *labels* pertaining to classification!)
     
    loveblack69 likes this.
  2. sexycobra

    sexycobra New Member

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    Interesting. I was always wondering what those letters in your signature meant. Thanks Lex.

    Btw, would it be possible for straight guys to use a similar code just for fun, with some tweaking perhaps?

    If it's allowed for a straight guy to try it, I would describe myself as b0, f+, t-, w-, (no idea about the cub/daddy stuff...), s-, e+ , p-
     
  3. Lex

    Lex
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    Ah, I will no longer be a man of mystery I guess!

    A lot of gay subcultures have their own set of codes (Twinks, for example).

    I use the bear code becasue (1) bears are the men to whom I am attracted and (2) the bear codes lend themselves to describe ANY man with the pluses and minuses.

    As for Cub and Daddy:
    • Think of a Daddy as the aggressive, take charge half of the relationship. The Daddy is usually the older man and usually is the top in the realtionship (but not always--my Bear Daddy is a bottom)
    • Think of the Cub as the younger, more passive/submissive half. Cubs can grow into Daddies as they get older or remain cubs if they like being submissive (usually a bottom, but not always).
    • I think of myself as a hybrid--CD--Cub with daddy tendencies, mature cub). I am the younger man in my relationship and can be passive, even though I am a top. I also like to Daddy other cubs/bears who like to be daddied. My BF is probably a DC--Daddy with Cub tendencies--a softer Daddy. I am always a Daddy with a women--LOVE if when Mrs. Lex calls me Daddy--WOOF!!!
    • Daddying someone can mean things like ordering them around (in bed), calling them boy, cub or asking/expecting them to call you Sir (like the military). The role play can be VERY fun!
    Sir, Yes SIR!!!

    (KinkGuy and others--help if I forget something...)
     
  4. Mattness

    Mattness New Member

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    What purpose does all of this serve?
     
  5. prepstudinsc

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    It's all so confusing to me. I thought two guys just kinda hit it off and took it from there...I guess I was really wrong!
     
  6. Mattness

    Mattness New Member

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    No, you're not wrong...I think it's just some people wanting to label everything with an attempt to make communication easier.

    I SO don't get into that. To me, no two people with the same label act or think the same way. Period.

    I don't even like to call myself Vegetarian because I eat fish once and a while. :)
     
  7. GoneA

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    oh goodie ... now I'M gonna take a stab at this. i'm a:
    #3
    f-
    t
    w-

    not sure what "CUB" means.
    not sure what "DADDY" means but i would sure like to be a D++
    g-
    k
    s- (i fear change)
    m+ (some months i would qualify for "none")
    e++/e+ (somewhere in there)
    r
    p


     
  8. KinkGuy

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    Bear codes have a long history on the www. Bears were among the first sub-cultures to master the net as a form of communication. Back when it was dos based and very user unfriendly. The bear code was developed as a means of "shorthand" to keep all communication as brief and content light as possible, since us older players remember, it took forever to send and post messages. Remember dial up and an absence of high speed connections, drop downs and this was all before, can you imagine, windows?
     
  9. KinkGuy

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    Hankie codes came into play in the seventies. It was also an unspoken, underground means of communication, developed in the bar scene. It is most often referred to as "flagging" and is gaining in popularity again...everything old is new again. We were able to "read" each other by the color of our bandana (butt pocket ONLY), left or right, by color. It was a signal of our sexual interests. That way no one actually had to talk to each other.

    Armbands, keys on belts, fetish gear, floggers, it all means something depending on how it is worn. The horrible part to all of this? There IS NO HANDBOOK or GAY AGENDA. We all had to and have to, learn it the hard way. Wait, maybe that is the fun part?
     
  10. Pappy

    Pappy Member

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    What rock are you living under?? Guys all over the world have their right ear pierced.
     
  11. Lex

    Lex
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    For me, it's just fun. When I see someone using the codes--its fun to figure it out. I didn't post this here to say everyone should buy into it (or want to); I just put it here because I got more than a few questions about it in PM.

    We can discuss the whole label issue in another thread if you want--I'm game for that. Start it up--I have lots of thoughts in labels.
     
  12. steve319

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    Someone needs to work on building this into a full system of likes and dislikes. I mean, isn't E-Harmony just an elaborate version of the same thing? ;)

    Lex, I smell a moneymaker for someone...
     
  13. Lex

    Lex
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    Rather be smelling YOU big guy...

    (gotcha)
     
  14. KinkGuy

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    Excuse me (us) all to hell for being open and sharing a little gay history. A lot of our cultural development came out of necessity, not just because it is fun and sexy! Secret codes and signals were at one time (and still are in many places) necessary to help prevent a gay man from being bashed...or worse. Some people just have no idea what it is like to be hated, reviled and often murdered by people with impunity.
     
  15. dlcs

    dlcs New Member

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    Fascinating as can be for me. Guess it's my inner geek. History is history even if it isn't "yours."

    As for that last line, preach on, Kink. Shout it from the rooftops and maybe someone will listen... and get it, finally.
     
  16. prepstudinsc

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    I wasn't offended by Lex's answer because it was in depth and well, a little too complicated for my mind, but it gave me a little understanding into this whole subculture. I am offended by Kink's answer because it's not given with any type of education in mind, as Lex's was, but just given with anger. I know that people are mad about being repressed and hated, but don't go about trying to shove stuff down my throat by screaming about it, do it by trying to explain yourself in a way that tries to explain a little gentler. You never heard Ghandi or Martin Luther King, Jr. ever start off a conversation with "excuse me all to hell!" That immediately makes me tune out and not care about anything you have to say.
     
  17. DC_DEEP

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    b0 f+ t++ w cD g+ k+ s+(+) m e r+ p q---
     
  18. hung9mike

    hung9mike Well-Known Member

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    Bear codes are supposed to make communication easier? Wow.

    However, I can see the fun in creating your own code-- I guess it's a way of describing who you think you are and what interests you. So, in the spirit of having some fun (although I wouldn't describe myself as a bear...), here's mine:

    B0 F+ T+ k- s- e++ f-
     
  19. B_Danceswithlamps

    B_Danceswithlamps New Member

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    Hmm. I just find all of this interesting, because, well, I just do! :D I think he put it up here to clear things up, and for anyone wishing to try it, then they could! :D

    BTW, I'mb0 f-- t++ w-- c+ d- g- k-- s-- m e++ r p++ q
    (I'm not gay, but I'm rather feminine :)) :D
     
  20. GoneA

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    i didn't know it had anything to do with being gay ... oops ... guess like i'm gay now.
     
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