A joke my Dad would like... BEER, FISHING, GOLF, and SEX A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, pulls out ten dollars and asked, If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner? No, I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless man replied. Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food? the man asked. No, I don't waste time fishing, the homeless man said. I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive. Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food? the man asked. Are you NUTS! replied the homeless man. I haven't played golf in 20 years! Will you spend the money on a hooker instead of food? the man asked. What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks? exclaimed the homeless man. Well, said the man, I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner with me and my wife. The homeless man was astounded. Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting. The man replied, That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex.