Beer vs Vagina

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by RideRocket, Feb 9, 2006.

  1. RideRocket

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    Beer vs. Vagina

    1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
    One point to BEER

    2.Warm beer tastes awful.
    One point to VAGINA

    3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
    One point to BEER

    4.If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.
    One point to VAGINA

    5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances.
    I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.

    6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.
    One point to VAGINA

    7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend.
    One point to VAGINA

    8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.
    One point to VAGINA

    9. You normally don't find old beer.
    One point to BEER

    10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God.
    One point to VAGINA

    11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun.
    One point to VAGINA

    12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
    One point to VAGINA

    13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off.
    One point to BEER

    14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can.
    One point to BEER

    15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down.
    One point to BEER

    16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner,ale,lager,etc
    One point to BEER

    17. You always know how much beer is going to cost
    One point to BEER

    18. Beer doesn't have a mother
    One point to BEER

    19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink it
    One point to BEER

    FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8

    That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER

    PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or
    discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them, an extra point for BEER
     
  2. royston

    royston New Member

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    awesome....i always select beer over flange...!

    xx royston
     
  3. Chuck64

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    I think I'll pass on both... Thanks!
     
  4. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    LMAO!

    THank you ,Riderocket. We needed a little levity today. By the way, I am 100% female and I was not insulted at all. Human interaction can be a bit much at times.

    Naughty
     
  5. Shelby

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    Pick me! Pick me! I'll take yours.
     
  6. Chuck64

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    My beer or my vag? Either way, I'll have to go to the store and pick some up... :tongue:
     
  7. Lex

    Lex
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    Beer tastes better than pussy, too.

    Actually, beer also tastes better than cock.

    Cock tastes like chicken.

    Pussy tastes like a salty forearm.

    But I digress....
     
  8. GoneA

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    what about pouring beer one's vagina? how would that taste?
     
  9. Lex

    Lex
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    And ruin my BEER? You're KIDDING, right?!?!
     
  10. GoneA

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    think of it as an asset to you sex life.:tongue:
     
  11. Chuck64

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    OK. I was curious. Now I'm not. Thanks for clearing that up for me Lex!
     
  12. SurferGirlCA

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    Ok, RideRocket...

    You can drink a beer - you can drink a vagina (well, if you're good you can).

    You can f*ck a vagina... let me know how it feels to f*ck a beer.

    :wink:
     
  13. rob_just_rob

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    I just finished laughing... thanks!!:biggrin1:

    On this note, a true story: A couple of summers ago I was driving home from my then-girlfriend's place at about 2:00 AM. She had spent most of the evening in bed, and during the drive, I could tell I smelled of pussy. Naturally, I got pulled over for speeding... when I rolled down the window the cop wrinkled his nose, then grinned. He asked me where I had been, and I answered honestly. And got off with a warning. I'll take that in lieu of beer. :smile:
     
  14. ClaireTalon

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    But RideRocket, honey, how about this combination? *laying back on my bed, spreading my legs slightly, revealing that sweating, cold bottle of beer nestled between my thighs, just below my vagina*
     
  15. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    I quit drinking and I'm married to a man so I guess I'm fucked.
     
  16. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    No, there's still a whole world of possibilities open to you :rolleyes:

    [​IMG][​IMG]
     
  17. fratpack

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    and when at a bar asking for a "Nice cold one"....hmmmm...point goes to beer.
     
  18. DC_DEEP

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    Um, you left out one obvious one.... you can have a beer any day of the week, any time of the month.... let's count a year's worth on that one and give the beer about 60 points.....
     
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