Being Bullied

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by earllogjam, May 9, 2007.

  1. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    I think alot of men and women in their childhood were bullied for being "sissy", different or just being their true self which wasn't popular. It is a horrible experience, which has lasting emotional scars to be beaten up, teased and ridiculed because of who you truly are, just for being different. It is a denial of your self worth. I was bullied because I was bad at sports and little effeminate, and I still carry alot of resentment and remorse that I didn't beat the living snot out of those fucking bullies. I think a lot of this is just swept under the rug and never talked about because it is on some level very shameful. I never told my mom or dad about it. That being said I turned that anger inwards and became disciplined, excelled in academics and was very hard on myself to improve both physically and mentally feeling that success would be the sweetest revenge. I am successful but I still carry those scars contrary to what I thought.

    All the bullies out there know who you are. I would like to hear why you do it or did it. For the bullied I'd like to say I empathize and would like to hear your story and any advice you have to kids who are bullied today and what you would have done differently.
     
  2. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    10,742
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Female
    I was part of the popular group at my first school, the in crowd. I wasn't functioning well, and my parents moved me out the the open concept school. Where I was made fun of for having short hair, I got called a hermaphrodite, and a man, and elvis for years... Grade 4-8. I never really did anything about it... I guess it just made me repress, and turn to my computer.. which is why I find my laptop such a huge stress relief now.
     
  3. IntoxicatingToxin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    10,133
    Likes Received:
    152
    I got teased and made fun of for being overweight, mostly. Doesn't bother me now. I understand why people make fun, and I have forgiven those who made fun of me. I'm now older, and confident. Still overweight, but no one teases me anymore, and I think it's because of that confidence. They know that I love who I am and anything they say to me won't matter. People who tease have self esteem issues and pick on those with self esteem issues because they know they are easy targets. They just do it to make themselves feel bigger. So, I've learned that their issues aren't my issues, and I can't allow them to be my issues. :smile:
     
  4. ganja4me

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2007
    Messages:
    1,335
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    U.S.
    I was never really bullied but some of my brothers friends used to mess with me once in a while. I think they were trying to toughen me up. Once I started getting bigger I actually fought two of them. Even though I didn't win they respected me for sticking up for myself and started treating me like one of their friends. Anyway I have seen plenty of people getting bullied when I was in middle school. I wasn't in the popular crowd but I had a lot of friends. I remember a few times I stood up for the person getting picked on because it just seemed too fucked up to stand there and not do anything. I guess it just kinda struck a nerve. I remember one kid that lived in my neighborhood used to get picked on all the time by a few friends that I had and I even fought two of my friends for doing it after I told them to leave him alone. They still picked on him once in a while after that but not if I was around. I think it has something to do with the fact that when I was real young my brother used to have a bully. Once one of my brothers bigger friends found out what was happening he beat the shit out of that kid and got taken to court for it. I guess I kind of looked up to him for doing that. Ever since then it really pissed me off to see people picking on others like that.
     
  5. SpeedoGuy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2004
    Messages:
    4,229
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pacific Northwest, USA
    Much the same here.

    I endured ridicule and some ostracization for being more interested in books than basketball or social cliques. I persevered but at times I had to stand alone like a man made of stone. Others later told me they admired me for rejecting ready-made personality labels but they were silent while it was all happening. I suppose the experience made me a stronger person overall but I too still carry the emotional scars and wouldn't want to go through it again.
     
  6. madame_zora

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2004
    Messages:
    10,252
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ohio
    Honey, bullies are ego-shattered limp dicked cockbites. MANY times, they are battered kids, seeking some relief from the powerlessness they feel. It is NEVER about the victim, they just pick on whoever they perceive to be weak. FWIW, slightly femme guys make the best lovers, and tend to have to most successful relationships. You're doing well in your line of work? Great. Success IS the best revenge- you didn't become like them, you won. You didn't beat the living snot out of them- I play those fantasy tapes in my head too, but then I wake up. You're a decent person who has just determined to go forward and not stay stuck in high school. Kudos to you on every level.

    I'm glad you're here.
     
  7. Onslow

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    2,496
    Likes Received:
    3
    I went through a time where I was bullied but mine had a really tragic twist to it. No, the other boys didn't bully me, I was bullied by girls. I guess even then they knew I would be more successful with making men happy than they could ever hope to be. Nothing is more shameful than being bullied by girls.

    The most notable was the tag team grouping in grade 4--Bernadette, Marcella and some other green eyed wench (no, not jealousy, she really had green eyes). Well I learned then and there how to sneak out of places early and unnoticed--this served me well in later years.


    Other things I learned was that I would have to retalliate for the vicious actions of those bitches and so I made it a lifelong mission to go about seducing Irish men. (yeah, I probably would have done that anyway but now I have a handy dandy excuse)

    Looking back on it, I know it was those girls which made me go gay--(we will at this point in time ignore the fact that I wanted to see every man in town naked but none of the women and wanted to live in a big house with men--only men. Only beefy, hairy, sexy men. Fat men, skinny men--all men and as meny as possibly and I would be with a different one each night--apparently I was quite disturbed as a child., which undoubtedly led to later difficulties.)

    Female bullying, Clearly I was victimized by sexual harrassment.

    Now, I know I wasn't bullied for the usual sissy behaviors. I played in sports activities--baseball, kickball, bowling, and I went fishing and played with toy trucks and cars, I bathed as rarely as the law (parents) allowed. Nothing said that I was a queer. What probably got bullied for was being an over the top eccentric--yes, even a child can be eccentric. Ohter boys didn't pay mind to that as long as I would toss a baseball, go swimming in the local lake/pond/pool/creek and play with slimey frogs and put worms on a hook for fishing. Girls--a few of them--were uncomfortable.

    I need a lawyer fpr filing my lawsuit against those girls--in the meanwhile get me a paunchy stomached hairy Irishman. Better yet, get me a dozen.


    Better make that a baker's dozen.
     
  8. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    Thanks MZ, the feeling is mutual. Thanks for making this a special place.
     
  9. ClaireTalon

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2005
    Messages:
    1,947
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Puget Sound
    I got bullied for years by my brothers and my dad. I had started working out and doing rough physical work as soon as my age allowed it, to keep them off. The day I graduated from HS, I took a powder and didn't return until the very day, I'm not overly interested in letting them know anything about my success. They can all go and knee-fuck themselves as far as it concerns me.
     
  10. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
     
  11. madame_zora

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2004
    Messages:
    10,252
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ohio

    Girl, you make me smile so often, but I never heard anyone say "knee-fuck" before!:biggrin1:

    I really must be the biggest asshole alive, but I scraped off my family for far less. I don't give a shit, I don't even want to find out when my step-dad dies- he's never been there for me and he was a controlling bastard. Haha@ him, control ends promtly at 18, short-sighted fucker. I really hope it was fun for him.:rolleyes:
     
  12. ClaireTalon

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2005
    Messages:
    1,947
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Puget Sound
    "Knee-fucking", a graphic term, isn't it? A little acrobatic if you understand it the one way, but OUCH if you understand it the other way. Quite good to have a foreign-language boyfriend :wink:

    Jana, you know that control can end earlier than 18, if you find someone to make it possible.
     
  13. madame_zora

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2004
    Messages:
    10,252
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ohio

    Well, I found a way to make an enemy earlier than that. That sick bastard asked me at 12 years old if I wanted to watch him and my mother have sex. I told him to never touch me in any way again, never speak of it again, and that I knew he kept a loaded gun in his top underwear drawer. I never told my mother, but after she died, I simply have no use whatsoever for that sick fuck. Yeah, he can go knee-fuck himself to death- sadly only the good die young.

    Fortunately, he took my threat seriously, so he was just a bastard to me because he knew I held a secret over his head.
     
  14. titan1968

    titan1968 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2004
    Messages:
    782
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    152
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Montréal, Canada
    Believe it or not, I was also bullied as a child and in my early teenage years because I was brainy, lanky, effeminate, clumsy and bad at sports. My different cultural background didn't help either.

    I woke up one day and began to fight back-- I beat the crap out of my tormentors. Years later I started doing bodybuilding, which helped me on many levels (i.e. physical and emotional). Few guys would dare start a fight with me now. :biggrin1:

    Earllogjam, the bullying left many emotional scars which took years to heal. I have forgiven my tormentors, but, more importantly, I have forgiven myself.

    The bullying has changed me, though. Firstly, when I see someone who has a problem, I almost always come to his/her rescue. Secondly, I can't watch movies with scenes of torture (emotional or physical).


     
  15. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    Think Kink, Mama Meg, Ganga, SpeedoGuy, Zora, Onslow, ClaireTalon, Titan -it's comforting to know that I'm not alone, Thanks for sharing. I know it's something no one likes to revisit.

    M Zora, sorry I had no idea about your childhood. It seems that you were a tough little kid too. What amazes me that some people with abusive childhoods come out to be such great people contrary to all the psycobabble out there. Some succumb to the pain and abuse but many more rise above it and become stronger better people like you and all who have posted here. People change out of desperation or inspiration. As I grow older I think of all the bad things that have happened to me which in the end were not as bad as I thought they were - some have been blessings.
     
  16. madame_zora

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2004
    Messages:
    10,252
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ohio
    For me, that was the extent of anything I would consider abuse. My step-dad was a nit-picker, he'd find fault with everything I did so he could ground me, but he never laid a hand on me after that day, even to spank me, which was already infrequent enough. I was grounded for a year and a half between 14 and 15!

    Most people would say I had it easy. I had a bedroom the size of an apartment, my own tv, a dog and a pretty good childhood, I just wasn't allowed to go out without sneaking out, and my dad was an asshole. I told ALL my friends- no need having him molest anyone else, if that was his intention. No one was ever left alone with him, and he knew I'd slit his balls. Haha, what was funny was that he was the one who taught me to use weapons. He's also the reason I don't use them today.
     
  17. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    You know Titan, I can relate to a lot of what you said esp. the bodybuilding to improve yourself part. But I still harbor resentment and I always feel like the outsider in social situations even though I can fake it extremely well. I also need a long time warming up to people as I am not naturally trusting so as a consequence I don't develop friends very quickly or easily. But I'd take my 5 close life-long friends any day over a slew of quick friends. But the adage is true - you can never have enough friends- just takes me more time to make them.

    Just curious though- Why did you need to forgive yourself?
     
  18. 50%more

    50%more New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2006
    Messages:
    363
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    So Fla
    When my cock is soft it can be anywhere from 4.5 to 6.5 inches, depending on how cold it is. One day after baseball practice in HS I was let out earlier because of an injury. I was in the shower letting the warm water run over my elbow and my cock reached its 6.5 inch flaccid state. When the rest of the team was let out the first guy who came into the shower thought I had a hard on (I still had two more inches to grow). He started telling everyone that I had a hard on in the shower. They had lots of nick names and teased me for the next year and a half about it.

    At first it bothered me, but I found out there was a silver lining. The rumours also made the girls curious.
     
  19. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    M Zora, seems you haven't changed much from the person you were as a kid. You probably were a precocious child. Strong, self-confident, rebellious. :wink: I can just see the headlines - "12 yr Old Girl Slits Dad's Balls"
     
  20. ClaireTalon

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2005
    Messages:
    1,947
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Puget Sound
    Earllogjam, I can back you up on that. I wasn't so bad at sports, that means as good as you can be with being a little top-heavy, but I knew that I had only one way out of my troubled home. I was lucky to be "discovered" by my science teacher, who was a Vietnam Vet, and when I was closer to graduating, gave me the tip to apply for the ROTC. I hadn't told anyone about my plans, but the day after graduation I left home. I have never looked back, and I guess I never will, I never questioned my decision of breaking off contact completely. But the feeling of being more successful was extremely good, talk about some good motivation here. I knew what was expecting me if I failed, and that made me keeping my discipline in whatever I was doing, and not risking anything to be dropped out.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted