Being Flamboyant

[deleted4499]

closetbi im with you 100%

 

[closetbi]

I very well may be the most flamboyant guy on this site.... I wear makeup, I own a few pairs of high heels, and I even have the fucking courage to post my own photo with makeup and feathers as my avatar.

Also, I went to an all male Catholic school, where any flamboyance got you shoved down the hall. I can tone down the flamboyance if I want to, but that's not who I am. The way I speak is with a lisp and if someone can't accept that, so be it. But I'm not going to act straigher or more masculine just because people don't like it. I really dislike threads like this because it makes me feel like less of a human for having a lisp. I'm gay and the way I move and speak is characteristic of my gayness. It's more accepted for a female to act masculine, yet I get slayed for being feminine. I saw this thread and had to put in my 2 cents as someone who truly lives and represents the gay lifestyle in its truest form... and I will defend myself to the fullest, because I'm not embarrassed any longer.

I was saying people that act like this are guilty of anything. More power to you, I don't have the balls to act gay in front of my friends, I'd be ridiculed to hell, I think. When I say I'm new to the 'community' I mean that I don't know a lot of gay people, and the ones I do know don't know that I'm gay. I guess I just want to know why it happens. As I get more comfortable with my sexuality, am I going to start acting like that too? I just think it's an odd side-effect of being gay.

 

[jjsjr]

I was saying people that act like this are guilty of anything. More power to you, I don't have the balls to act gay in front of my friends, I'd be ridiculed to hell, I think. When I say I'm new to the 'community' I mean that I don't know a lot of gay people, and the ones I do know don't know that I'm gay. I guess I just want to know why it happens. As I get more comfortable with my sexuality, am I going to start acting like that too? I just think it's an odd side-effect of being gay.

First of all, a side effect of being gay? Gay isn't a disease or prescription drug. I got ridiculed for my voice all through high school. Therefore, I trained myself to not speak so much... literally, I stayed silent. Now I don't care what people think, because their opinions are just thoughts and words. I act flamboyant because that's what feels right for me. My partner doesn't, he looks out of character if he act/walks/talks like I do!!!

You can act however you want around your friends!!! You can be 100% gay and act straight. There's nothing stopping you from that. The notion that you know who you are and know what you want is crucial. I'm sorry you still feel uncomfortable around your friends based on how you'd think they'd treat you once you told them, but that's the litmus test of who your real friends are. You might not know yet of what's on the other side, but that's the "light at the end of the tunnel" we know as 'Coming Out.' The questions you're asking and the thoughts you're having are experienced by every gay man on this site... and that's ok.

It's a scary step, some people never get there and others find it by accident. To be shunned by your peers is one of the ultimate phobias, but once you find the courage to open your mouth and re-introduce yourself to the world, you'll understand what 'gay pride' is all about. This website is a support group: it's safe, its anonymous, consider it practice for the real world. Good luck.

 

[B_ballablang]

amen brotha

 

[B_Castello]

Some of the Strongest men I know are drag Queens.

:015: hummmmmmmm I dont know about that, it is somehow hard to beleive...

I dont like effiminate and flamboyant not at all. I would say that it is kinda hard to have a model when you want to come out... somehow I dont like the idea of been gay and the image of gay (effiminate).

Anyway, I respect everybody the way the are, but I glader be with a girl then a flamboyant man.

For my part, I dont act gay at all, even if some there is some of my picture wich I look freaking gay lol I just like to kid about that.

Can a mature men who is effeminate change and be menly?

This is part of the first La cage aux folles, wich Albin try to act straight

YouTube - La Cage aux Folles - Albin plays it str8

 

[splitface]

I was saying people that act like this are guilty of anything. More power to you, I don't have the balls to act gay in front of my friends, I'd be ridiculed to hell, I think.

Then you need new friends. Or at least some that can accept what ever you are.

When I say I'm new to the 'community' I mean that I don't know a lot of gay people, and the ones I do know don't know that I'm gay. I guess I just want to know why it happens. As I get more comfortable with my sexuality, am I going to start acting like that too? I just think it's an odd side-effect of being gay.

I am out to a few of my closest friends, and I have found that yes, I made a small jump to a greater level of flamboyancy. Within about a month of coming out to my first friend (and having her be 100% supportive of me) I am showing signs of being 'gayer'. Paying way more attention to my appearance, as well as becoming a visual perfectionist in almost everything, my manner of speaking has changed slightly, and I am absorbing a bit of the lisp, though I try to keep the last two down for professionalism.

My opinion: Being flamboyant is a-okay by me; which is normal, as there is nothing anyone can do about it. But to me, it is a major sexual turn off. If I want to have sex with an emotional, feminine creature, I'd go straight, or bi. Men are supposed to be masculine.

 

[D_Portelay Porquesword]

Then you need new friends. Or at least some that can accept what ever you are.

I am out to a few of my closest friends, and I have found that yes, I made a small jump to a greater level of flamboyancy. Within about a month of coming out to my first friend (and having her be 100% supportive of me) I am showing signs of being 'gayer'. Paying way more attention to my appearance, as well as becoming a visual perfectionist in almost everything, my manner of speaking has changed slightly, and I am absorbing a bit of the lisp, though I try to keep the last two down for professionalism.

I don't understand how any of this makes you gay? So you pay attention to detail, so did Einstein as did Tesla for that matter. Paying attention to your appearance is not an act of faggotry. There is a distinction between what appears to be "gay" than what actually is gay. As for your lisp, speech therapy comes to mind unless you have a "big ol gurl" inside just bursting to come out?

My opinion: Being flamboyant is a-okay by me; which is normal, as there is nothing anyone can do about it. But to me, it is a major sexual turn off. If I want to have sex with an emotional, feminine creature, I'd go straight, or bi. Men are supposed to be masculine.

Normal is as normal does. There is NO normal, only a socially accepted idea of "normal". To make such a statement that slams anyone who is feminine in any way, specifically members I might add, of YOUR OWN COMMUNITY gives further proof to the idea: Silly, limited notions such as these expressed here in your opinion are responsible for the fractioning of the community itself. Who's side are you on? Common sense or just ridiculous ideas of what being who you really are means?

NO!! MEN are suppose to be who they are. Whether that be in heels or construction boots. Excuse me, but you just participated in a stereotype that I find both ignorant and offensive.
No one is asking you to have sex with effeminent men either. Get over yourself.

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

No one is asking you to have sex with effeminent men either. Get over yourself.

How do you know? Maybe they are latched onto his legs all day as he drags them about.

 

[MickeyLee]

Mr. Oh_Yeah.... best avatar ever!!

 

[sexplease]

Don't sweat the small stuff. And be thankful for the amazing diversity of life.

Just imagine, if ALL we in your, or your dad's, mold.

 

[D_Portelay Porquesword]

Mr. Oh_Yeah.... best avatar ever!!

Thank you m'lady.

 

[DadsAreUs]

I was saying people that act like this are guilty of anything. More power to you, I don't have the balls to act gay in front of my friends, I'd be ridiculed to hell, I think. When I say I'm new to the 'community' I mean that I don't know a lot of gay people, and the ones I do know don't know that I'm gay. I guess I just want to know why it happens. As I get more comfortable with my sexuality, am I going to start acting like that too? I just think it's an odd side-effect of being gay.

Just relax and don't worry about these things. The most important thing here is that you are able to write "I'm gay" and the whole world didn't collapse around you. Again, it's not as scary as you think.

 

[Brick7]

Acting flamboyant does not equal acting gay. When you eventually come out as gay to your friends and family, you will still be the same guy that you are now. You won't suddenly start acting flamboyant. That is obviously not who you are.
But that also doesn't mean that a guy who does act flamboyant is not a man. Of course he is a man. Do a Google search on the internet for the Stonewall Riots and you will find out that it was the gay drag queens who stood their ground against the harrassment of the police and started the Gay Rights movement in the US. They acted quite manly that night.
A man is a man because of his DNA but also because of his actions and the character of his heart and soul. Acting flamboyant has nothing to do with determining whether or not you're a man.

 

[sexplease]

I prefer flamboyance over Charles Manson, Hitler, Attila the Hun, Mao,
oh -here's a nice list of evil.

Top 10 Most Evil Men - Listverse

 

[earllogjam]

Flamboyancy is the antidote to social conformity and oppression. It is a rejection of everything dreary and morose. It is the outpouring of being faboulous and alive. It is the celebration of individuality over being a spec among the mediocre masses.

It is the reaffrimation that being true to yourself is more important than fitting in.

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

Flamboyancy is the antidote to social conformity and oppression. It is a rejection of everything dreary and morose. It is the outpouring of being faboulous and alive. It is the celebration of individuality over being a spec among the mediocre masses.

It is the reaffrimation that being true to yourself is more important than fitting in.

In the '60's, a party in Manhattan wasn't a real party unless Truman Capote or Tennessee Williams were there (preferably not both at the same time, however).

They brought flaming to a whole new level, and were wildly entertaining.

 

[jjsjr]

Acting flamboyant does not equal acting gay. When you eventually come out as gay to your friends and family, you will still be the same guy that you are now. You won't suddenly start acting flamboyant. That is obviously not who you are.
But that also doesn't mean that a guy who does act flamboyant is not a man. Of course he is a man. Do a Google search on the internet for the Stonewall Riots and you will find out that it was the gay drag queens who stood their ground against the harassment of the police and started the Gay Rights movement in the US. They acted quite manly that night.
A man is a man because of his DNA but also because of his actions and the character of his heart and soul. Acting flamboyant has nothing to do with determining whether or not you're a man.

I love the fact that this couldn't be any truer.

 

[D_Lococharchie]

I have always been flamboyant. And i have been persecuted for it. But the thing is, it's who i am. I seriously can't deepen my voice. And in my opinion, being a man isn't about how yore voice sounds or how you express yourself. America's whole "masculine" image is what got me picked on as a child and to this day. It's the reason why i have gotten death threats. It's the reason why in high school the other guys did things like setting my underwear on fire in the locker-room while i was still in them. It's the reason why i've lived my life struggle to struggle. But you know what it's also the reason why I am stronger than any of you "masculine" men.

And also just because I'm flamboyant doesn't mean I can't kick some ass.
:tongue:

 

[Countryguy63]

I was saying people that act like this are guilty of anything. More power to you, I don't have the balls to act gay in front of my friends, I'd be ridiculed to hell, I think. When I say I'm new to the 'community' I mean that I don't know a lot of gay people, and the ones I do know don't know that I'm gay. I guess I just want to know why it happens. As I get more comfortable with my sexuality, am I going to start acting like that too? I just think it's an odd side-effect of being gay.

First of all, I believe that you are getting undeservingly hammered on this, and I'm sorry to see it. Folks need to learn that just because they've addressed it a hundred times, doesn't mean somebody brand new is not concerned about an issue.
However, you do have a tendency to to put your foot in your mouth, lol.

Come on folks,,Have a little compassion and educate instead of attack

As some have mentioned, accepting your sexuality does not necessarily change you, unless you have been putting on a false front to hide the true you. I was where you are not too long ago having just recently accepted my same sex attractions. I don't act any different than I did before. I am naturally deep voiced and apparently according to others "masculine". That's just me. It doesn't change according to who I'm around. I find flambouyancy entertaining, but am not attracted to it, in the same manner that everyone has personality traits that they don't find attractive.

Gay" is not who you are, but genericly (is that a word,lol?) what you do. The only time I "act gay" is when I'm playing with another cock"

I wish you all of the best while you are going through this "figuring out" stage. It's not always fun. However, if you will honestly face who you are, embrace it, and be proud of it, you will come out a better person in the end.

(last part was a bit OT, but I know I needed to hear that during my acceptance journey, still do sometimes, many, many times)

 

[Robert53]

You said it country guy! Our student needs to live his life, embrace who he is and not get overly concerned with what others think, say or do. In today's politically correct world, folks will tell you one thing "straight" to your face and then think and say other things when you are not around. In a country of "free speech" we can no longer say what we think: we have been conditioned to be "politcally correct." Horse shit!

Lets all stop labeling and get along together.