Being Gay at College

[Stringer]

How did you go through college? Were you closeted or completely out, or somewhere in between?

I am starting my sophomore in a few days and I'll be living with three new people (one of whom I'm pretty sure is gay since I've checked out his Facebook) in a new apartment . I have anxiety again about my sexuality. I live in NYC and I'm completely out to almost everyone close to me at home, friends and family, and it feels almost completely free and liberating. But I go to school in PA which is nowhere near as liberal and chill as NY. I experienced real life homophobia from several people last year at school for the first time in my life and it sucked. For example, I was called faggot twice, I had two guys who wanted to stay away from me after finding out my sexuality.

My whole freshman year I stayed closeted for the most part aside from telling a few people and it felt awkward even then. My roommate last year told me I just need to be more open about it. I think he's right, but that was very tough for me last year. I remember a girl strongly coming onto me over me inviting me to jump into bed with her and I freaked out and blocked her on Facebook like a little bitch! Are you kidding me?! Man up, Stringer!!!! :tongue:

This year I feel a lot more comfortable after having a year under my belt. I really want to be open about being gay but I hope I don't revert to my closeted mindset once I'm there.

What do you think. Any experiences to share? How to deal with homophobic and ignorant people? Since I'll be sure to encounter it again, chances are...

 

[Mooky]

Dude man the fuck up and just go fuck it i'm gay! Fuck what all these homophobes think! I'm 100% straight used to be a homophobe back when I was like 12 and now I couldn't give a fuck! good on ya and hope you have the time of your life! People who are scared of you/don't want to know, you don't deserve to know you. Good on you and do what makes you happy!

 

[gulliver16]

it feels almost completely free and liberating.

My roommate last year told me I just need to be more open about it. I think he's right

I really want to be open about being gay.

Just picking apart pieces of your quoted post. I think you've answered your own questions already.

There will always be some hatred wherever you go in life. Be yourself and it will be easier to choose your friends from the people who don't judge you because of your sexuality. Good luck.

 

[D_Andy_Whorewall]

I've had 3 sons go through college, the last being a Jr this year. Tough transitions for you all of you. Like I told them: be yourself, grow a thick skin and treat people with an open mind. So far so good....they are not gay BTW, but it wouldn't matter.

You'll be fine...live your life the way you want to...enjoy !

 

[223790]

Unless you're attending a right wing religious university, I don't see the problem. My old university was so gay friendly that there were 3 gay rights groups on campus. Fraternities were banned on campus, but gay rights groups were embraced.

 

[CUBE]

I am a little older of course and some things have changed but in theatre it is coomon to have gay people everywhere. I was quietly diecrimintaed against by one teacher who managed to keep me out of a certain graduate school. I am saying this because why you should have the right to be open, it does not mean you will be treated fair by all. If you at all feel it will put you in danger or be held against you, I would exercise caution in just telling everyone. You do not owe anyone the truth that can hurt you with it. Just a thought of caution. Enjoy college. It shapes everything.

 

[S_V_J]

Are you sure about you being gay? It says 70/30 in your profile, I'm just asking if you're closeted toward others, or yourself?

I'm asking mainly because I can relate to the feeling of freaking out when invited to bed with a girl I always thought it was due to my penis complex issues, but I have begun to think it could be because I'm gay, but in denial.

 

[Willifred]

Regardless of sexuality maybe you're feeling a little anxious for the new academic year?

It's perfecty normal to be feeling that way, and your sexuality won't be adding to it as everyone else will generally be feeling the same.

Tell people you feel comfortable telling, and in your own time. If anyone has a bad reaction to it then they're not worth your time anyway.

 

[D_Larson_E_Whipsnade]

I too am in my sophmore year and i really don't care what people think who wouldn't want to sit close to you? Gay or straight.

 

[Novaboy]

You are already used to being out in your life. I would think (hope) that people who are attending college would be more open minded. In Canada I really don't think it is much of an issue. I kept in the closet in university and missed out on a lot of the fun aspect of going away to school. I stayed at home and told myself that I wasn't social but now realize I was hiding from straight situations and myself. I regret that I didn't allow myself to be me. I was not fully out to myself at the time and as it appears that you are, you need to just be yourself and to hell with anyone that doens't like it. Don't loose out on these years because you are hiding from your own reality. Good luck.

 

[DTD]

I don't think that it matters if you are getting ready to go to college of if you are just out in the work force. You will encounter people that don't like the fact that you are gay every where. I have learned that it best to just be myself and let others around me deal with their own feelings. Life is toooo short to not be the best person that you can be and to be happy and not hide anything. It doesn't mean you have to march in the gay pride parade, but you don't have to hide it either. People will like you or not like you, no matter who you sleep with.

 

[Stephenmass]

Stringer, simply put, just be you.

 

[rayray]

Yes. Just be yourself.It is not neccesary to make an announcment to your friends about your sexual preference..My friends figured it out, some would ask and some I would tell..The more educated your friends are the less it will be a issue for anybody...Have fun and good luck...

 

[S_V_J]

@Novaboy
Well, that rang very true to me too, keeping to oneself in college and feeling asocial. You are planting questions in my head, man!

 

[mke75]

F those homophobes. They are just a bunch of closet cases themselves. Trust me. I sucked many macho "str8ys in college.

 

[NYUkid2015]

Well college's on the whole tend to be liberal institution. I mean you don't need to go running down the hallways of your dorm with rainbow streamers decorating people's to all the men you see but I think that you should let some people you trust. Trying to hide who you are from others just makes the clusterfuck that college is even worse.

 

[Dorian_Gray]

Going through the same thing.

Plus I have aspergers and almost no social skills.

This is going to be an interesting year.

 

[LPSGeezer]

I'm surprised that in Uni you are finding discrimination, my nephew who is in the same boat said that people of his age consider being gay a non issue these days. Maybe it's because he's at a school in Europe, after all the U.S. is one of the most backward places when it comes to nakedness and bodies etc.
Sorry to hear that you've been through that mess, but you'll be stronger this time around, and it's no one's business anyway unless you make it theirs. Hang in there and love who you are no matter what anyone else thinks or has to say negatively about it.

 

[SR_P_Ness-Envie]

I actually had one roommate switch rooms once he found out I was gay. Didn't bother me, though, so I don't want to be rooming with anyone like that ever. You run into all kinds of people, but since its college you can avoid most of the unpleasant ones and keep the pleasant. College doesn't have to be so restraining, you just have to find the right ways to do things.

 

[430129]

As a young man thats bi-sexual in college, im actually going threw the same thing as well. stringer is definitely speaking for a lot of us. my situation is a little more dangerous, I recently just got accepted into one of the most prominent Fraternities on my campus. I survived 8 weeks hell of pledging. I knew the risk i was getting into before hand (hiding my sexuality) but i didn't know it was going to be this hard and draining hiding the fact that i prefer man but still like girls.... aye Idk what i got my self into. i'm also approaching my sophomore year.