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Being Handsome Is Kinda Like Being Well Hung

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by fournineteenfiftynine, May 14, 2019.

  1. fournineteenfiftynine

    fournineteenfiftynine Legendary Member

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    I was thinking about how odd it feels when I get complimented for being handsome. I get that a lot. I did get good facial genes I guess. But I really didn't do anything to get that handsome face. And it probably is more of an asset than a huge cock. But again, it was just a genetic gift. I wonder if guys with big cocks also feel kind of weird about being complimented about something that is genetically caused rather than something you accomplished?

    I mean I like it but it seems like the world would be better if we all focused on complimenting people on character traits.

    Does that make sense?
     
  2. halcyondays

    halcyondays Superior Member

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    Depends on who's doing the complimenting and the context.

    For myself it's much less awkward to be complimented on my looks in public than it is to be complimented on being hung. In private it matters less. Generally.

    The problem with someone's character traits is that it takes time--sometimes a long time--to learn what they are. It's also easy to be deceived by people who say all the right things but fail when the rubber hits the road.
     
  3. drainedmt

    drainedmt Legendary Member

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    Well, as someone who is neither handsome nor well hung, I say this.

    You are blessed genetically and will benefit it for much of your life. Just say thank you.

    You feel unease about being complimented? Imagine how it feels never getting complimented. Or worse, being told you're ugly, right to your face.

    You wonder what you did to deserve handsome face? Imagine wondering whay you did to deserve an ugly face. Or worse, realizing you can't change it for your entire life, unless you want to undergo expensive and potentially dangerous cosmetic surgery.

    You feel weird about being complimented about your genetics rather than your accomplishments? Imagine being accomplished but never getting compliments because of your looks. Or even worse, getting completely ignored because there is a pretty shiny thing in the same room that others will be drawn towards.

    Yes, it would be nice if we were complimented on our traits. I have longed my entire life to be described as the "handsome one" instead of the "smart one" or the "thoughtful one." In a society that prioritizes and embraces good looks (especially if you're gay), you become conditioned to thinking that "you're so smart" or "you're so thoughtful" equates to ''you're ugly."

    You wonder why many good-looking people treat others so poorly. Yet people still flock to them. You wonder why you are kind and humble but repel.

    I would love for a day -- just one day -- to walk in your shoes. To turn heads in a room. To get smiles and looks. To not have to think about something "smart' or "thoughtful" to say because that's the only entry point into interaction. And I wouldn't want to wish you walk in my shoes for a day -- just one day.
     
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  4. Stratavos

    Stratavos Legendary Member

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    Yes.
     
  5. fournineteenfiftynine

    fournineteenfiftynine Legendary Member

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    Wow I'm amazed by your thoughtful, if yet hard, message. I think I understand what you are saying. But I will ponder more.
     
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  6. 1626381

    1626381 Guest

    Handsome is way more subjective than hung, even on a website like this.
     
  7. AlteredEgo

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    I'm like, girl-next-door cute. I'm never the hot one. I like looking at myself; definitely not upset with my appearance. Others seem to appreciate my appearance too. But I'm always cute or pretty. Never hot. When I'm told I'm sexy, it usually has more to do with my personality than anything else. It hasn't bothered me. I really didn't even notice until I was reading another woman's posts here years ago, in which she was complaining. I like being the smart one. The hilarious one. The honest one. The bold one. The confident one. I like being the one who gets shot done. I don't have to be the hot one.

    Have you really never been complimented on your appearance? Never ever? Never a "You look nice today," nor a "Wow! Don't you clean up well,"? I always think everyone looks nice at a celebration. So. Not even on special occasions?

    I met my husband online in a chat room. He always said he was ugly. He said women didn't even look at him. I always felt kind of sisterly toward him. Then, one day he showed me himself, from his ribs up, on cam. I was floored. I could never feel sisterly toward him again. My attraction was instant. It was so far from what I expected. The first few times I expressed attraction and tried to get him to agree to a date, my heart raced. I was so nervous. To me, he was HOT. My friends agreed he was handsome. I see people watch him when we are out. A woman at his job asked him out a few months ago. (We don't wear our rings.) Maybe nobody actually does come up to him, usually, and tell him he looks good. Maybe. But we've been to parties where other women complimented ME on his good looks. All these years later, I can see he's not the same, but he's still handsome. He still thinks he's ugly. He really thinks this.

    Are you really sure you're ugly? To my observation, really ugly looking people are about as rare as exceptionally good-looking people. Are you sure you just maybe don't see the signs that people are happy to check you out?

    I read this back to myself, and it doesn't sound quite how I intend it, but I don't know how else to ask. I assure you, and hope you will believe, there is no meanness in my intentions. I'm really interested in your experience.
     
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  8. Cum_is_Great

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    I also don't get compliments, obviously because I am morbidly obese. But people are nice sometimes and give compliments when I get a haircut and shave. That's about it really. Though I usually don't take that as a compliment but more of a "hey you finally did something to that mess on your head/face" as I usually DO let it grow wild and unkempt. But do those really count as a compliment? if someone you knew always looked horrible/dressed bad and suddenly for an occasion cleaned up, is it a compliment on their appearance or an appreciation that they fixed their problem?
     
  9. AlteredEgo

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    Must the two be mutually exclusive?
     
  10. Cum_is_Great

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    It doesn't have to be, but the "appreciation that they fixed their problem" comes across to me, in my negative pessimistic state of mind as more of a "finally, tired of seeing such a hideous face" more like I did them a favor than improved myself. I dunno. I know my state of mind and thinking is poisoned by depression/mental health issues
     
  11. sendera1

    sendera1 Sexy Member

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    My take on the whole handsome thing is a little different. I never really thought of myself as all that handsome. Only a small percentage of the women I dated would ever say that. It’s similar with being hung. The difference is that there is proof verifiable by a tape measure or ruler. Most of the time in the case of being hung the women would mention it, but I wouldn’t believe it and they also didn’t dwell on it.

    I have a theory on why the majority of the women I dated did not mention me being handsome was somewhat due to insecurity. Most of the women I dated were drop dead gorgeous. They are used to guys telling them how pretty and attractive they are and I did. The logic is that if I was not handsome, I doubt that I would have been able to date the majority of them. I consider myself more on the shy side. There are even more women that I could have dated who I knew who were interested. The women were flirting and giving me the eye etcetera. I am less shy, but still missed out on some women from time to time.

    Now the women, who did tell me I was handsome, were the ones that guys probably say were not as smoking hot, but I still found them attractive. These tended to be women who were more confident in themselves. Sometimes the data proves this out. The hot women quite often end up with a guy who is not as attractive as they are. Many times he can be a bad boy or have money or something else. I look at being handsome as an asset to help me have the potential to get with a particular woman.

    As far as being hung, I am not really “hung” up on that. Pardon the pun. I agree with the women, we men place far too much emphasis on our dicks, but that’s what we do. I never thought of myself as hung for the longest time. The women would say it, but I would never believe it. It was not until sites like this and the internet that I said based on my measurements, I guess it is true. I think most of the women I have been with have not been size queens either. So maybe that is a reason they don’t dwell on it.

    The funny thing is that if I think about the first time I would sleep with a woman, she generally would not bring up dick size, so I said maybe I’m average. What would happen is that after several times of sleeping with her she would bring it up and finally I thought ok maybe it was true. Part of me used think, that saying a guy has a big dick is something women say to be nice to guys.

    In fact, every woman I’ve been with never stared at my dick before we were about to sleep together. She would be staring at my eyes. The same thing if we were taking a shower the next morning. Me and mini-me would both be at attention in the morning and the women would always still be staring at my eyes. So I believe women are not caught up in dick size as much as we are.
     
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  12. 1222288

    1222288 Guest

    I read your post, and really empathize with what you said. My mother sometimes says similar things as she has gotten older, and when I hear that I feel little heart strings snapping. I can't wave a magic wand and shift her self perception, but I can still try to dispel some of the negativity she burdens herself with. It is easier for me to talk with her as I know her history, so I know where some things are rooted.

    As I briefly mentioned, self perception is a challenge for a lot of people. I'm too short. I'm too tall. Too heavy, too skinny, or not muscular enough. I'm not wearing what he's wearing, or driving that car, or living in that neighborhood, or have that income bracket. We are the absolute worst judge of ourselves, and that can result in some seriously damaging self esteem issues.

    Negative self talk is like acid. Once you get used to it, that little voice is hard to shake off. You are never good enough, and everyone knows it. Stop trying. You will never fit in. You. Are. Ugly.

    It is a nasty little thing, that becomes pervasive and can really change your life if you let it. Being aware of it is the first step.

    There are a lot better things than being the person who turns heads in a crowd. Intelligence, being a sincere and genuine human being, kind, sharing, a listener and a communicator, creative, artistic.. There are a lot of "beautiful" people who carry a deep ugliness inside, or crippling insecurity, or whatever else. It is a veneer that is only a couple of cells thick.

    Own your inner qualities. Let that confidence and personality be the light that fills the room. I personally know a lot of "average" looking people who outshine everyone around them.
     
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  13. AlteredEgo

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    As the frequent complimenter of some men who I think could benefit from more careful attention to style and grooming, let me say this. When I tell a friend his haircut looks good, I really do mean that. It may also be true that I wish he would stay on top of his grooming, and think he'd attract more opportunities, both professional and social. However, I really mean he looks great. I might also mean he looks as good as I always knew he could. Why would I be tired of seeing him hairy and unkempt? What difference does it make? He's neither my man nor my son, so what business is it of mine?
     
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  14. NCbear

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    In terms of men who are handsome, there’s guy-next-door, good-looking guy, macho guy, buff guy, babyfaced guy, lean hard lanky guy, and so many others, all attractive in their own ways.

    But a few times in my life I’ve seen sex-on-a-stick guy (so hot that all you can think of is him naked and you licking him all over).

    That level of sexiness everyone responds to, and I mean everyone.

    Ahhhh . . . . :yum

    NCbear (who’s returning you to your regularly scheduled thread :p)
     
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  15. CalifornianSTUD

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    I think it can be similar. For example, one of my brothers is very small, but is very good looking. Once he got passed his insecurities about his little dick he started actually getting laid a lot. Girls are very attracted to him, so it works out for him. My oldest bro is handsome and hung. my little bit is hung, but very average looking. But they all get laid whenever they want.
     
  16. gmannen

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    I guess the thing here is that being handsome or being hung is not something you've earned. It's just there, and you can't take credit for it.
    Being hung, I feel this more among men than women, since men are more hung up on size. It can create some kind of hierarchy that is based solely in the lottery of a few inches, and I can find that strange and a bit uncomfortable.
     
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  17. Saint Raphael

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    I'm still new but this thread pretty much sums up why I love LPSG. Great discussion topic, and thoughtful points of view.
     
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  18. fournineteenfiftynine

    fournineteenfiftynine Legendary Member

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    I so agree. What a great discussion thus far.
     
  19. fournineteenfiftynine

    fournineteenfiftynine Legendary Member

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    and OMG you are hot!
     
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  20. marriedasian

    marriedasian Legendary Member

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    i believe both is subjective from a certain point because handsome is different to everyone as the same for being hung. handsome is harder to quantify than a big dick since we all could empirically say that anything bigger than 8 inches is well-hung while how do we even begin with being handsome (as i'm assuming handsome equates to a physical trait).

    it's the same from the point of view that you are just born with it and it's not the same at all from the fact that we all have our own preferences.
     
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