being in love with the relationship

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by ring27, Oct 23, 2011.

  1. ring27

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    I feel my girl friend (of more than 2 years) is more in love with our relationship than with me. I mean, she weighs the security that our relationship offers her, more than me. She agrees to everything I say to "keep up" the relationship - which I find very difficult to believe. I feel I dont know person and I just know this person who agrees to whatever I say. I contradict myself several times just to test her but she agrees to everything. She negates her friends and my friends in many conversations but not me!!

    I understand she sees me as someone she wants to marry...but in my shoes, I'd like to know the real 'her' before I think about marriage.

    I am a little confused and wondering if anyone else has felt this way.
     
  2. monel

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    If your GF is in love with you as a marriage prospect and not necessarily with you as a person, it is a recipe for disaster. What happens if things don't go so well and being Mrs. ring27 doesn't have the "shine" it once did? The person you commit your life to must love you as a peson regardless of the trappings.
     
  3. Bbucko

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    I've always maintained that a relationship is made up of three, co-equal parts: the two individuals and the relationship itself. If something was requested by my partner but I disagreed, I'd consider it from the POV of maintaining a healthy and balanced relationship. If, seen from that perspective, it seemed more reasonable than it did before (from a strictly self-serving perspective), then I'd compromise.

    I've also always maintained that, in every relationship, there's one partner who's loved just a bit more than the other. This asymmetry is not always healthy, but I've never personally seen a relationship (let alone be in one) that didn't have it.

    You really need to confront her about the way she acts. Certainly don't make any step toward a deeper commitment unless you're satisfied with her answer.
     
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