Being into "older men"

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deleted24385681

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I am 23 years old and I've noticed that I am strongly sexually attracted to "older men" (I am talking about 40-59 year old men). Sometimes it feels weird that I'm into much older men and I feel like I'm being judged by some people for that (at least their response wasn't really positive or even downright negative). I could imagine myself in a relationship with a 40+ year old man but of course that is sort of difficult to become reality.

Anyone can maybe relate?
 

winesthel945

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I've been in two relationships with almost 20 year age gaps. And I know a lot of couples, both gay and straight, with similar gaps. The challenge is always about the maturity -- not in age, but in ability to navigate relationship issues, and communicate. In any relationship, you can have different interests, different experiences, come from different places and backgrounds... before age is even a factor. It's just one of those differences, something to be enjoyed, explored, and seen as an adventure, not as a hindrance.

There will always be some people who look at the age gap and have an issue with it... and they can fuck right off. Many of those same assholes will grow old, all the while leering at younger people and never realize that if they weren't such miserable judgmental assholes, they might find someone they're lusting after is into them.

I was once standing outside a bar in the Castro district in San Francisco. An older man (early 50s?) had just walked up and introduced himself to a much younger man (early 20s?). "You look younger than your profile picture." says the older man. The younger man responds, "You look older than yours... I guess we both win, daddy!" and off the marched into the bar.

Don't let the opinions of assholes determine what you seek. Go for it and you might both win.
 

Brodie888

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Something that a few friends of mine have said and my own past experience is that at the beginning everything is great with a relationship with an older man but as the older man goes further into his forties, fifties and sixties; the relationship can have more issues due to the fact that:

The older guy tends to become more set in their ways. Eg not as interested in doing new things. More routine behaviour.

Their lifestyle/career path is at the opposite end of the spectrum. Eg You are looking at building your career, he's looking to slow down and move somewhere to retire. You want to go to the club or festivals, he wants to stay home to watch The Bold and the Beautiful.

Their sex drive tends to wane. You are still wanting sex every day or every other day. He wants sex once a week or every other week.

These are generalizations. I know there will be a bunch of old guys who will be offended and will tag my post angrily denying the above. But what you as the younger person still have to consider is that these are highly possible and what you are willing to do to keep a relationship working despite these things or if it's worth getting into a relationship or just enjoy older guys without committing to anything long term.
 

enigmaticc04

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I can relate to how you feel. I am also romantically and sexually attracted to older men, especially around 30-50 years old. But, I've never really been in a relationship with an older man.
 

HungBtmVegas

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I am 23 years old and I've noticed that I am strongly sexually attracted to "older men" (I am talking about 40-59 year old men). Sometimes it feels weird that I'm into much older men and I feel like I'm being judged by some people for that (at least their response wasn't really positive or even downright negative). I could imagine myself in a relationship with a 40+ year old man but of course that is sort of difficult to become reality.

Anyone can maybe relate?
I've only ever been into older men
 

dreambridger

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i was in a decent relationship with a guy 27 years older than me for a good while. I do like older guys, but not specifically. I just don't really judge when it comes to age. However it does seem to be the case that older guys are more into *me* than guys my age and younger.
 

Topher the Gopher

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It's not as uncommon as one might think. I knew from an early age that I was into "daddy" types. From the time I was 18, I was hooking up with guys in their 30s-50s. At 19, I entered a relationship with a 59 year old; lasted about two years and we remain friends.

Presently, I'm 36 and my husband is 61. At the risk of sounding vain, people often think both of us are younger than we are.

It was never a hard and fast rule for me, and I've been with younger guys, but I appreciate maturity and intelligence, and guys my own age were usually shallow and stupid.
 

just_bust45

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I dated a 50 yr old man when I was 32 and from the jump he was like this relationship has a shelf life bcuz I’m so much older and you deserve to be w someone you can grow old w not watch grow old. It pissed me off so much that he wouldn’t give us a real chance bcuz of the age gap. He was the first guy I really liked after experiencing true heartbreak. Ironically, by a guy who was also older (I was like 29-30 and he was early 40s) and he cheated on me and ended up leaving me for guy who was 25 . But got damn that 50 yr old was insanely hot and wise and talented as well. The daddy that got away for sure. However, I have seen some gay couples where I most certainly find the huge age gaps a bit disturbing, esp when they look more like father and son as opposed to life partners/lovers.
 

dreambridger

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I dated a 50 yr old man when I was 32 and from the jump he was like this relationship has a shelf life bcuz I’m so much older and you deserve to be w someone you can grow old w not watch grow old. It pissed me off so much that he wouldn’t give us a real chance bcuz of the age gap. He was the first guy I really liked after experiencing true heartbreak. Ironically, by a guy who was also older (I was like 29-30 and he was early 40s) and he cheated on me and ended up leaving me for guy who was 25 . But got damn that 50 yr old was insanely hot and wise and talented as well. The daddy that got away for sure. However, I have seen some gay couples where I most certainly find the huge age gaps a bit disturbing, esp when they look more like father and son as opposed to life partners/lovers.
I'm sorry to hear that, sounds like his own insecurity entirely and not at all considerate of how you'd feel about it.

The older guy I dated, he did tell me not to tell anyone his age, which felt weird, because I'm a really open person. But I actually think he did want me around while he was aging to look after him. It's gotta be scary to be an aging gay guy without kids and not know who's gonna look after you when you need it. He'd always say I could be there for him, then after he goes I could find a younger guy to look after me.
 

thebiggulp

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I've always been into older guys, and now I am one. I'm still into older guys, but I have also cast my net back to guys that are approximately 35 and older. Like whomever you want to. At the end of the day, the only one's opinion that matters is your own. I was in a relationship with a man who was 20+ years older than me, and we were together for 23 years, planned on getting married. We never got there because he died. This could happen to anyone at any age, so don't let that put you off. I almost carked it myself late last year. Death is a part of life and should not keep you from living your life to the fullest. Ignore advice from people who want to generalize what life with an older man is like. They are just being ageist, and like to put people into neat little boxes. All of the things mentioned could also happen with a younger partner.
 
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Robert Dole

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I think it is healthy for a young guy to be sexually attracted to someone older especially where inexperience or curiosity is a factor, so if the vibes are right go for it. My personal experience is that an older man was incredibly helpful in helping me with my curiousity about guys and I know several others who have found the same- experience, gentle guidance, patience and a cool head.
Within the last few years (40+) I have noticed an increasing number of young guys flirting and showing sexual interest as I become older, a young guy from work (18+) has been curious for a while now so i've invited him to join me over the weekend so we can discuss his questions at leisure, but given his previous flirting I know where this is going and may be watching a porno when he turns up...
 

chrisrobin

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I am also very much into older men. There is a lot of sigma with regards to age gaps in relationships
Nothing wrong with being into older guys as long as you enjoy what you do with each other. The age gap can be very rewarding for both sides - when I was but a cherub I hung out with guys 3 times my age and learned so much about life and sex and world values
 

Jay__NL

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I am also looking for older married fit men from 29 to 60. I am a 19 year old twink from the Netherlands
 
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Topher the Gopher

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I'm curious how many of you in here into older men didn't have a dad growing up?
My actual father wasn't around, but I had father figures - my grandfather, an uncle, and a stepfather. We played sports, went fishing, flew model airplanes, all that kind of thing. Hell, I remember admiring my uncle's good looks when I was young. He was the only one who gave me any kind of "birds and the bees" talk.
 
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dreambridger

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I'm curious how many of you in here into older men didn't have a dad growing up?
I have a great dad, but I'm definitely from a long lineage of matriarchal families where the women are in charge and have the stronger energy. so that may have influenced me seeking stronger men.