D_Ollyvalle Treegirth
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I'd imagine it's more fraught with opposite-sex couples --- but between 2 guys, it's definitely possible. In fact, not unusual at all, in my experience.
Haha, ThinKink, I can't wait for Lex to chime in on this one. I know what he will say!
It is, of course, possible... with the right person. It takes a degree of emotional maturity and honesty that's not all that common, and both people have to have a healthy self-image.
I think what usually "ruins" it is one or both parties feeling "obligations" of how they think others think things should be, rather than the two people deciding for themselves the constructs of their relationship. (Yeah, that sounds awkward, but read it a couple of times, and it will make sense.)
What do you guys think, is it possible to be just friends after sex? stories, comments, suggestions, etc. Lets hear it.
NJ - honey - you know my thoughts of you are fluffy and wholesome (mostly :naughty and my regard for you is high - but I am so sick of reading that, be it from you or anyone else.
Thank you for your opinion; but she asked a question and I answered it. I will probably continue to use that phrase whether you like it or not.*SNIP*But 'doubt means don't' as an answer to a 'what do you guys think' type question on this board is getting really old.
Lex, have you and DC had sex?
I think the appropriate answer is none of your business. :redface:Just being nosy.
Njqt466, perhaps friends should be just more honest in relation... when you want to be friend you say so and you act so! Simple, no! And, that stereotype "men tend to fuck without emotions envolved" ... yes, many would agree, but and women can and often do the same, no?
Yup to some degree I might be.Yes,
I think it is possible but rare.
What do you think kink????
Are you facing something like that???
Well he's gay so there is no chance of relationship, most likely.Haha, ThinKink, I can't wait for Lex to chime in on this one. I know what he will say!
It is, of course, possible... with the right person. It takes a degree of emotional maturity and honesty that's not all that common, and both people have to have a healthy self-image.
I think what usually "ruins" it is one or both parties feeling "obligations" of how they think others think things should be, rather than the two people deciding for themselves the constructs of their relationship. (Yeah, that sounds awkward, but read it a couple of times, and it will make sense.)
Thanks. :smile:NJ - honey - you know my thoughts of you are fluffy and wholesome (mostly :naughty and my regard for you is high - but I am so sick of reading that, be it from you or anyone else.
Questioning something, wanting to think about the pluses and minuses, wanting to have other people's opinions is not only natural but it is bloody sensible. Are the proponants of 'doubt means don't' seriously of the opinion that if you feel the need to question something at all then you shouldn't do it? Bollocks - bollocks on toast, in fact. I think this phrase is overused - if you have examined something and questioned it rationally and you are still unsure (have doubts) then yes, I'd agree that not doing whatever it is is more sensible than doing it. But 'doubt means don't' as an answer to a 'what do you guys think' type question on this board is getting really old.
Thanks Lex.HAHAHA--of course it is possible, because I have done it. I like to think I have been friends with people before we ever had sex in most cases. There is great security in knowing that if Bubba and I choose, we can play with someone, share that experience, talk about it, and all remain friends after the fact. We both have friends that we would like to have sex with, some that we have and some that are on the "To Do" list (pun intended).
DC-- you really said everything the way I would have said it.
I think it really depends on how much emotion you involve in your sexual experiences with people with whom you are not "in love." I will not have sex with someone I do not like enough to be around for extended periods of time. If I like you and you like me and we decide it feels right to have sex, then we might--as long as you understand that I have a hubby and am not leaving him (and that he will watch and may want to participate).
I do not have to love someone to have sex with them, but I have many friends with whom I have had sex and it has really been just that--sex. We may care for each other, fool around when and if it feels right, and remain great friends.
I do not understand the thinking that holds that it is impossible to be "just friends" after sex. What were you before sex, if not just friends? What is so special about your sex that hereby commits your sexual partners to more than friendship just because you sleep together?
Those beliefs are, to me, founded on a false premise that you should only have sex with the person you will marry which is impossible to know, and I would NEVER marry someone that I had not been sexually intimate with. Who the hell wants 40 years of sexual incompatibility?
Actually the appropriate answer isLex, have you and DC had sex?
Just being nosy.
Lex, have you and DC had sex?
Just being nosy.
Actually the appropriate answer is
That depends on what your definition of "sex" is...:biggrin1:
What do you guys think, is it possible to be just friends after sex? stories, comments, suggestions, etc. Lets hear it.
It is, of course, possible... with the right person. It takes a degree of emotional maturity and honesty that's not all that common, and both people have to have a healthy self-image.
As I mentioned previously, that is pretty much something men who fuck men do.
There is great security in knowing that if Bubba and I choose, we can play with someone, share that experience, talk about it, and all remain friends after the fact. We both have friends that we would like to have sex with, some that we have and some that are on the "To Do" list (pun intended).
I will not have sex with someone I do not like enough to be around for extended periods of time.
If I like you and you like me and we decide it feels right to have sex, then we might--as long as you understand that I have a hubby and am not leaving him (and that he will watch and may want to participate).
I do not have to love someone to have sex with them, but I have many friends with whom I have had sex and it has really been just that--sex. We may care for each other, fool around when and if it feels right, and remain great friends.
I do not understand the thinking that holds that it is impossible to be "just friends" after sex. What were you before sex, if not just friends? What is so special about your sex that hereby commits your sexual partners to more than friendship just because you sleep together?
Lex, have you and DC had sex?
Just being nosy.
If you can't fuck your friends who can you fuck?
Note: this is not an admission of anything... :biggrin1:
People will assume many things based on available information. For example: my avatar pic of my kissing my hubby was taken in DC's basement (dungeon) and we were both naked. We (the three of us) did not have sex.
It's tough. It's insulting, even. It's a direct commentary on you as a lover. She likes you but not the sex; she would rather take her chances with a stranger than have sex with you again. And if it's not a direct commentary on you as a lover, it's a commentary on you as a person; no amount of good sex will ever let her enter a relationship with you.
How do you make peace with that?
I'm trying, but it's tough.
No. It's too weird unless you're into the "friends with benefits" lifestyle.
Not this again. I'm having flashbacks of the "infidelity" thread, and all that mumbo jumbo psychological stuff.
*snip*
Have you had a lot of therapy or read a lot of self help books? I've noticed a lot of these "new age" type comments similar to the ones you made on the infidelity thread; your comments and DC's.
And that's true love.
In the world you live in it's quite "normal", but in the ordinary every day world that most of us live in, it's not quite run of the mill.
For the most part, friends don't have sex with each other. They may play cards, play sports, go to dinners or movies together, or just hang out. That's it. Friends usually don't even see each other naked unless it's in the locker room.
You're trying to present this as American as apple pie and easily digestible; you're the exception, not the norm. More flashbacks of the infidelity thread.
Enquiring minds want to know. :biggrin1:
I'm sure they have, but if not, they will be soon. They're gay men who know each other in person, and have open relationships with their partners. It's kind of a no brainer.
LOL You didn't that time. You guys are being so coy about this, but yet your lives are almost an open book on all other topics on here. If you have, you have. It's not like people would be shocked or anything.:tongue:
You are such a judgemental, insular, sanctimonious, egocentric, self-absorbed, self-righteous bitch, it is no wonder you are single. I can't imagine anyone who could stomach your incessant preaching and pontificating long enough to fuck you, let alone fall in love with you. You are absolutely incapable of comprehending that you are not god. Just because you see it that way, anyone else who sees it any differently is a freak, right? Well, fuck off.LOL You didn't that time. You guys are being so coy about this, but yet your lives are almost an open book on all other topics on here. If you have, you have. It's not like people would be shocked or anything.:tongue:
You are such a judgemental, insular, sanctimonious, egocentric, self-absorbed, self-righteous bitch, it is no wonder you are single. I can't imagine anyone who could stomach your incessant preaching and pontificating long enough to fuck you, let alone fall in love with you. You are absolutely incapable of comprehending that you are not god. Just because you see it that way, anyone else who sees it any differently is a freak, right? Well, fuck off.
ManlyBanisters, thanks for saying most of it before I had a chance to.
What do you guys think, is it possible to be just friends after sex? stories, comments, suggestions, etc. Lets hear it.