I'm trying to figure out the scenario here. How's this... you were all playing strip poker and Lex lost so he had to have sex with DC. Snoozan was obviously the winner.
Being "just friends" after sex
- Thread starter B_Think_Kink
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I'm trying to figure out the scenario here. How's this... you were all playing strip poker and Lex lost so he had to have sex with DC. Snoozan was obviously the winner.
Lex
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- Lex,
Altered -- Don't give up on us all--remember: DC is a former educator and I still am. I would be honored to teach your children one day.
That is better than what really happened that night: we all sat around and had drinks and ate and had great conversation.
That is better than what really happened that night: we all sat around and had drinks and ate and had great conversation.
LOL!! Get called on your shit and wrap yourself in the flag. There is no First Amendment here honey. It's privately owned board and we all post at the pleasure of the owner. And yes you are narrow minded.The First Amendment is under attack.
Maybe the two of you are not right for the long term, but still share some feelings of closeness.To quote Greg Behrendt, "It's Called a Break Up, Because It's Broken." Why and how could I be friends with some one that decided I wasn't good enough for the long term?
There's a difference between emotions and feelings toward a person and commitment to an ongoing sexual relationship.
I think it is possible, but I never experienced it really. I'd like to someday. I don't think many people could handle being just friends, especially if they had lots of good sex for a period. But what do I know? I think I could handle it with the right person, just never happened so far.
And you are doing... what?
Do you even know what the first amendment is?The First Amendment is under attack.
SyddyKitty
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I could never be 'just friends' with sex. The guy I simply jerked off (and he wasn't even slightly large)... I was infatuated with him for weeks. I'm completely not wired to separate emotions from sex, and that's a good thing with the right person.
The guy I simply jerked off (and he wasn't even slightly large)... I was infatuated with him for weeks. I'm completely not wired to separate emotions from sex, and that's a good thing with the right person.*bump*
Just out of curiosity, Ms.Teacher, please answer a couple of questions about these parts of your post:
And explain to me what you mean by my life being an open book. Seriously, I want you to post a quote. What do you know about me since you joined on March 31 of this year?
And why did you single out Lex and me, when many others voiced the same views?
Go ahead, answer the questions. It's not like people would be shocked or anything.:tongue:
Just out of curiosity, Ms.Teacher, please answer a couple of questions about these parts of your post:
These were both directed at Lex and me. Please tell me which thread you refer to in which I told anyone I have an open relationship. (Hint: it's not in the infidelity thread to which you refer. Just because I defend a point of view, that does not mean I share it...)
And explain to me what you mean by my life being an open book. Seriously, I want you to post a quote. What do you know about me since you joined on March 31 of this year?
And why did you single out Lex and me, when many others voiced the same views?
Go ahead, answer the questions. It's not like people would be shocked or anything.:tongue:
Yes. I've established a healthy friendship with my first ex-husband and several former lovers. It was easier with the former lovers than my ex. There was a 10 year period when my ex needed space and I gave it to him. He contacted me a year and a half ago and now we're able to be good friends again since enough time has passed to sort through our feelings. His courage in contacting me allowed him to heal a few old wounds from our marriage.
I've a couple former lovers with whom i'm also good friends and one or two I don't keep in regular touch with but I know I could count on them if I needed them for something or vice versa.
Why shouldn't you be friends with someone you've had sex with? I wouldn't want to have sex with someone I didn't think was friendship material.
I've a couple former lovers with whom i'm also good friends and one or two I don't keep in regular touch with but I know I could count on them if I needed them for something or vice versa.
Why shouldn't you be friends with someone you've had sex with? I wouldn't want to have sex with someone I didn't think was friendship material.
nashboy
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I could never be 'just friends' with sex.
i know what you mean. im going thr it now with a friend that wanted to be friends that fuck while....he has a bf....its killing me and thats my mistake...so im doing my best to deal with it.
FieldRatt9
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Nope! Never has worked for me. I wind up with an instant stalker. Not that I'm great in bed but I pay alot of attention to what they want or need...so I guess thats addictive. I'm always watching for an ex to pop up at the most in-opportune times. Not exactly a way to go about your business. Once it's over..it's over...unless you fall in LOVE.
cm70874
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I sorta agree with you. I could never sleep with a friend, and I would never be someone's friend after sex. It would make things wierd, especially if you or that person, hits on someone else in front of the other. My philosophy; Hit it and quit it or Date it and Mate it.
I have been able to do it only once (currently). Most of the time there was a sensation of something missing. I was, in fact, surprised when it worked out this time, and it almost didn't--we found a lot more common interests, including professional collaboration, but it was still much more intimate and personal than my other frienships. Most of my most enduring friendships are with people I never had sex with, though. I also tried to be friends with an ex-girlfriend many times, but gave up after years. It had less to do with me than her in this case: All of her friends put up with the fact that she likes to fight very frequently (with friends and lovers alike), and this I can't abide in a friend. Oh yes, there was, in fact, another male lover that I didn't see for perhaps 12 years after we broke up; we were then friends for another 8 years until he died unexpectedly, so I guess it's happened more than once with me, and I can even think of one more, but I've lost contact with him and have been unable to find out what happened to him.
However, looking back over the thread, I do see that I wouldn't be able to be friends with someone that I still mainly wanted to have sex with. It can be sustained only after there was a cessation of the sexual need. If I still want the sex and the other doesn't...well, there's nothing there to work with, is there, except frustration of both, one for not getting sex, the other for being pressured.
However, looking back over the thread, I do see that I wouldn't be able to be friends with someone that I still mainly wanted to have sex with. It can be sustained only after there was a cessation of the sexual need. If I still want the sex and the other doesn't...well, there's nothing there to work with, is there, except frustration of both, one for not getting sex, the other for being pressured.
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gay men often have sex before becoming friends - being friendship material is not a prerequisite for sex.
i'm not friends with any of my past partners. i've been trying to figure out why and the only thing i can think of is that the separation was never in the best of terms and instead of reliving something painful and hurtful i prefer a clean break - even if they wanted to be friends. i can't pretend to like or be friends with someone i don't particularly care for. we've all gone our separate ways.
the odd part comes when you develop mutual friends and you can't help but hear about your ex thru them.
Rubenesque
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I'm friends with several of my ex-lovers. I think it works if you started off with a respect for each other.
Having said that, there will always be a certain "something" that is different to friends you've never been intimate with.
Having said that, there will always be a certain "something" that is different to friends you've never been intimate with.
Ed69
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That's the whole deal right there, Ed. I guess everyone else is clairvoyant. I'm not sure how, after an introduction and a handshake, someone could make a decision right there: trick or partner. But then again, I'm not into casual sex, and I never have been. For me, it all goes back to "don't date anyone you wouldn't want as a friend."
Anyone want to take the odds "she" won't respond? Especially since doing so would reveal "her" previously-banned identities?
I wish it was, but it just doesn't seem to be an option. Everyone I've been with wanted a relationship. My problem is that I'm too easy going in that regard so I tend to sort of roll with it. I also feel like a dick if I've slept with her and don't hang out afterwards. As a result, I've had weird, dysfunctional, this-isn't-working-out relationships of six weeks or so, but it's also how I got with my current girlfriend, and we've been together a fair while now. It just strikes me as weird though - how even drunk girls I'd meet at parties would want something more afterwards rather than just seeing it as a night of fun. Either way, I just can't seem to meet the casual crowd, and for some reason I can't be all mercenary, like "this is just sex." I'm just too wishy-washy and convenience-based myself - I need someone to tell me that this isn't going to be anything more.
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