Being more verbal in bed for new partner

[lookingtochange]

I'm running out of things to say in bed.

I'm in a new relationship with a hung man. When I bottom for him, I encountered a problem. He can't get off unless I'm crying my head off and saying something like "oh god. You're so big. It hurts".

But this is quickly becoming a problem for me because it doesn't hurt, and I'm usually dead silent in bed. I don't know what to say during sex.

I want to be more verbal for him, but I'm running out of things to say. To those who can relate, what do you like to hear or say in bed?

 

[902369]

Well if it doesn't hurt, does it at least feel good or average/so-so?

 

[emmyfan]

Do you moan?

Silence to me is not a good thing in bed

 

[lookingtochange]

Well if it doesn't hurt, does it at least feel good or average/so-so?

Oh it feels great! And im a sturdy enough guy to handle it all. Definitely top 3 of the last five years. However, I feel like I'm a bad actor and theatrics of it are getting tiresome.

 

[lookingtochange]

Do you moan?

Silence to me is not a good thing in bed

I have to remind myself to moan. I'm a quiet person in bed. Unfortunately, I have come to Iearn that being silent is what killed some of my relationships in the past. I am just not verbally expressive with my pleasure.

Now I'm in a situation in which I feel the need to compensate by being over-the-top and theatrical. I'm getting off no problem, but I want to do what I can to give him what he wants.

 

[long_uncut]

Some of us are naturally quiet, but I enjoy hearing the verbalization and have learned to be more expressive. Verbalization has seemed to be important to my partners and I have learned to enjoy being more verbal as well.

 

[lookingtochange]

Some of us are naturally quiet, but I enjoy hearing the verbalization and have learned to be more expressive. Verbalization has seemed to be important to my partners and I have learned to enjoy being more verbal as well.

What kind of sounds are you making? I'm curious about what kinds of sounds other people like.

 

[deleted1074483]

I'm naturally quiet in bed too, though my breathing rate increases and I do talk to my partner about whats going on and does he like it, would he like me to do something else etc, but not excessively. I can't do the theatrics either, feels unreal and unnatural, which just makes me laugh and is not always welcomed by the partner.

Why not just talk this through with your new guy, tell him whats going on, and decide together what to do about it?

 

[ronin001]

So, you are faking part of the sexual experience, to please your partner, on one hand very commendable. I will be the first to admit that a good portion of good sex is mental stimulation, not just physical. As verbal stimuli, gets your lover off, why not get him to do the talking, dirty talk does not have to come only from one participant to be effective.

 

[lookingtochange]

I'm naturally quiet in bed too, though my breathing rate increases and I do talk to my partner about whats going on and does he like it, would he like me to do something else etc, but not excessively. I can't do the theatrics either, feels unreal and unnatural, which just makes me laugh and is not always welcomed by the partner.

Why not just talk this through with your new guy, tell him whats going on, and decide together what to do about it?

I've talked to him almost completely honestly. (I have not told him I'm.faking it). Other than that we're open about what we like to do to each other, but that last bit... He just can't cum unless I'm noisy AF.

 

[lookingtochange]

So, you are faking part of the sexual experience, to please your partner, on one hand very commendable. I will be the first to admit that a good portion of good sex is mental stimulation, not just physical. As verbal stimuli, gets your lover off, why not get him to do the talking, dirty talk does not have to come only from one participant to be effective.

He talks... It's all variations on "you like that big dick, don't you?". I'm running out of responses and I don't know how to steer the conversation in the moment.

I want to tell him "be quiet. Just a little harder and you'll make me blow". But that's not what he wants to hear.

 

[long_uncut]

What kind of sounds are you making? I'm curious about what kinds of sounds other people like.

Any sort of sound that conveys a sense of pleasure or passion. And of course talking about the experience with my partner. You need to just "be in the moment" and let your partner know that your bonding experience is all that matters right then. You don't have to be loud and screaming or putting on extreme theatrics, and I would think that a partner who expects that sort of thing might have some insecurities about his performance unless you both agree that you want to put on some sort of show for the other.

 

[deleted1074483]

so why not just say, yeah sure do, fuck me harder?

 

[lookingtochange]

Small updates:
When hes finally done, I added something like "I'm gonna walk funny tomorrow". That got him hard for round two. I'm not sure how many more times I can use that one.
Also, while he's fucking me, I said something like "you ruined my ass hole. I can't feel other guys anymore". He seemed to really like that one. But I mean, how many more times can I say something like that?

 

[lookingtochange]

so why not just say, yeah sure do, fuck me harder?

Saying "fuck me harder" just doesn't work on him. Fuck me harder sounds like hes not hurting me. He only seems to like when it seems like I'm in pain.

 

[deleted1074483]

well then that definitely sounds like he's the one fucked up??

 

[lookingtochange]

I

Any sort of sound that conveys a sense of pleasure or passion. And of course talking about the experience with my partner. You need to just "be in the moment" and let your partner know that your bonding experience is all that matters right then. You don't have to be loud and screaming or putting on extreme theatrics, and I would think that a partner who expects that sort of thing might have some insecurities about his performance unless you both agree that you want to put on some sort of show for the other.

I'm starting to think he has some insecurities. He talked about wanting an 11" dick. He's a real 8.5". I hoped I stroked his ego alright. I told him he's massive and already has enough trouble keeping his cock in his underpants.

 

[lookingtochange]

well then that definitely sounds like he's the one fucked up??

Maybe. But he's phenomenal otherwise.

 

[deleted1074483]

Maybe. But he's phenomenal otherwise.

ok fair enough, phenomenal wins out;-)

 

[lookingtochange]

Update:
He sometimes likes it when I gag my mouth with a pillow and just make loud uncomfortable sounds. It saves me a lot of thinking and repeating myself.

Maybe this will be helpful to someone else in this situation in the future.