Being referred to as "a gay" or "the gays"

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by B_RedDude, Jan 27, 2008.

  1. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

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    Is their anyone else who really hates being referred to this way? It just really bugs me when someone uses the word "gay" as a noun.

    I am gay (adjective), but I am not "a gay".
     
  2. gjorg

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    It sounds so stupid,"a gay". I agree, it's like saying "I missed work cause I had the diarrhea".
    Call yourself homo or homosexual. It's liberating.
     
  3. Lex

    Lex
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    "The gays" is too close to "the blacks," "the Spaniards," "those people," "you people" which are all too close to "the niggers, the spics, the fags, the bitches, the dykes, the whatever" for my taste.
     
  4. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    has never happened to me, but if it did, can't imagine it would bother me
     
  5. Dave NoCal

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    Referring to individuals by unidimensional categories is inherently a denigration of their individuality, whether it's "the gays," "the straights," "the men," " the women," "schizophrenics," "religious people," or whatever.
    Dave
     
  6. Industrialsize

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    I prefer to be referred to as a GAY MAN, If people are referencing my sexuality
     
  7. Bluewave

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    Likewise.

    'Gay' as a noun, and especially in the plural is very depersonalising as Dave said.

    And depending on the context can also be incredibly patronising. I was once in a conversation with two women who didn't know I was gay; one of them used the word 'gaydar' and had to explain it to the other, who started hooting with laughter and declared "they're so funny, aren't they? The gays?" FFS.
     
  8. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    OMG all this political correctness! you do realize that you are subscribing to a tendentious sophistry that, to subscribe to a particular view, or agree with an ultimate conclusion, REQUIRES you ignore certain facts, that would prevent you agreeing with that conclusion ... one of those objective facts, is that generalizations do point out or reveal an objective truth about individuals as member of groups, be they groups of race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation
     
  9. 9inchcanadian

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    I have to admit i have being referred to as "a gay".

    The main reason for this is becasue the popular low brow media of the UK has used the term " a gay" and "gays" in a derogatory manner since the late 80s when they realised that poofter and fairy were becoming less acceptable. They have now managed to bring the term into mainstream everyday use by constantly printing it whenever refering to a gay man or group of gay men.
    I don`t have an alternative other than "gay man" or "group of gay men" but i guess this takes longer to type and takes away valuable advertising space.
    My friends know i hate the term and always say it just to get a rise out of me.
     
  10. B_houugadunor

    B_houugadunor member

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    It sort of have a comedy stigma about it now, to refer to a man as "a gay" -
    Little Britiain for example.
     
  11. Guy-jin

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    "You people" is the most offensive term known to man.
     
  12. B_houugadunor

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    There is/was an american woman on TV in the UK called Ann Maurice who always refers to british folk as "you people" which always made me feel uneasy!
     
  13. naughty

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    Sweetheart,

    Whether there is a scrap of truth in the statement or not is not the issue here. It is the objectification of an individual in order to contain them that is offensive. Each of us is complex. Though we ourselves at any particular time may speak or act from the perspective of any one aspect of our personhood, it is and can be offensive when others use it to denegrate our person or existence. The statement says I have weighed you measured you and found you wanting in my eyes. It is a verbal turn of the head in a gesture of ultimate disrespect.
     
  14. invisibleman

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    What I think would be liberating if these words no longer had no power or force. People give a lot of power to words. You take the power away from the words. You own them.
     
  15. naughty

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    That is very true. BUT people shouldnt have to deal with this kind of categorization in the first place.
     
  16. prepstudinsc

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    I know I'm being naive here, but why can't a person just be called a man, a woman, a child, a human, whatever. Why give power to the labels. Who cares if someone is straight, gay, or in between. I really don't care what race someone is, either. I would rather just be called a man from the United States. I am proud of the fact that I'm a Christian, I'm proud that I'm from South Carolina, and I'm proud that I'm of Italian heritage, but while those make up part of me, none of them are the label I want, because it still wouldn't fully identify me.

    Call me naive...
     
  17. naughty

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    No,I prefer to call you KeShawn! :biggrin1:
     
  18. midlifebear

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    Well, personally I am homosexual not a homosexual. It's the indefinite article that I've always found irritating. That simple indefinite article leads to a lot of objectification. Are you gay or a gay? Are you black or a black? Are you white or a white? Am I bored or a boor? I know I'm definitely tired of this topic.
     
  19. 9inchcanadian

    9inchcanadian Member

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    If only

    I am in complete agreement with you. Trouble is people want to know the small details about others, and if we don`t we get them thrust apon us anyway.
    I always laughed whenever i read the Daily Star in the UK( not a regular occurance but if some builder is going to leave it on the seat of the Jubilee line who am i to argue!)
    You see the Star always, and i mean ALWAYS puts the age of whoever they are talking about either just before or just after the persons name. For those of you in the UK that dont believe me, go check it out.
    It seems to be inherent in them to let us know how old the rest of the world is wether we care or not. The same is true of anything that singles a person out as different. Be they Blonde,tall,fat,gay or anything else that may strike them out from the crowd. The press loves a noun.
     
  20. naughty

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    Sweetie,

    Wouldnt it be great if we could all just be ourselves without other people getting their mouths or judgement in it? Unfortunately, there are two kinds of people, those who are cooperative ( work with others ) and those who are competitive( Work in opposition to others). It is those that have the mentality of comparing their progress against others that have to devise ways of evening the scales. These are the individuals who attempt to gather information about others that in reality shouldnt matter at all and attempt to use it to push the other person down while boosting themselves upwards. They come in every size shape and color. and are often rewarded for their ruthlessness. I have taken to loud talking people these days that call people who are different from them out of their names . It has been working! :biggrin1:
     
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