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Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by las000005, Mar 7, 2009.
What are the advantages to being single?
being free of obligations to someone else, plenty of free time, able to be selfish...
If I ever want to sit nekkid on the bed with a wine cooler and a pepperoni pizza, at the end of a long week there is nobody to tell me not to do that. :biggrin1:
I get ALL the closet space to use as I see fit.
Cruising people you would never usually cruise if you were partnered.....love 'em and leave 'em......watching porn at your convenience....
as I was sitting on the nude beach today, I was thinking, my ex would flip knowing I was here, watching all these hot guys.
Staying up late, chattin'; cammin';no one to tell me what are you doing down there?
Life is cheaper. I get to choose who I hang out with. What I want to do, when I want to do it. They call it the ball and chain for a reason. Life is just simple, and I like it. Being single has always been better than all of my relationships (to be fair that is only 2, and they were very very very short). And the more I observe things, the more I think relationships are overrated, since it seems like so many people force it.
Having been married for 21 years and now divorced and every intention of remaining single, although it may sound selfish, you have only yourself to consider in every aspect. You can more or less do, see, have what you want with out the need to think what your partner may say, think or do. I think the animal kindom have it right get along together, enjoy sex togthere and then move on. no strings attached. The human existance is far to complex to truely enjoy. An it is us, supposedly intellegent being who have created this existance.
Freedom. No one to answer to. Ability to flirt with anyone guilt-free.
I've yet to read anything that I am not able to do as a partnered man.
The constraints placed upon one person in a relationship are often borne of the insecurities of another. Absent that, the possibilities are limitless.
But people are insecure. If you start hanging out with your friends more than your partner, it's only natural for your partner to wonder and feel something. Especially since most relationships start off with them spending every second with each other and as that slows down people think that something is wrong.
Also, not that this applies to me, you will probably be able to continue any self destructive behaviors you may, since MOST partners would try and stop you. So that wouldn't have anything to do with insecurities, and may be better for you. But it is your body (say for drinking or something).
The only thing I can think is id have a clean house.other that id really be super bummed out being single
I had a wonderful time being single, for all the reasons listed here but also I felt through all of those years that I was better off by myself than spending time with the wrong person. I loved the selfish hedonistic life...but then I grew up and was lucky enough to fall in love...I would not go back for anything.
Me and The Squeeze make it a point to sleep together only if we want to, not because we're hitched. Same goes with long absences, up to a month at times. But I find when I'm not going to see him for several days I don't necessarily miss him, but I behave as if he were in the next room. Odd. Considering what a major whore I was during my 20's.
But Lex is wise, as usual.
Pendlum, I disagree with the assertion that the default option is " I am not worthy, I am not good enough, I do not deserve this person who I am with." Insecurity as a lifelong emotion and self-view is neither normal nor healthy.
I have and would never be with someone who wanted me to be with them every waking second. This, too, is not normal. All humans benefit from time alone and time away. To be with your thoughts, to be with friends (that may not share common interests with your partner/spouse, etc. And not all relationships start with two people spending every waking moment together, either. Just some things to consider.
As Clementine said: "Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours."
I would hold that effective and responsive partners realize that any behavior exhibited is exhibited because it works for the person (even self-destructive ones). I don't abdicate alcoholism gambling, or addictions. That being said, you can not make someone do anything that they are unwilling to do.
And if you have to shame or guilt someone into compliance with external mandates, you have only reinforced the dark places that created your insecurities in the first place. My partner treats me with respect because he wants to and because I deserve it and expect it without question--not because I make him feel bad.
You are too kind, big bear daddy! I always try to act as if Bubba (bigmanjon) is looking over my shoulder. There are no secrets as there is no need. If he has a question about something or someone, he asks and I answer. I flirt in front of him and he does the same. At the end of the evening, we are going home together, so what is the issue? I don't give out my cell number and neither does he. I am under no pretense that him being with me somehow renders him blind to other gorgeous men. Likewise with me.
Can it be all so simple then?
That's not the only option. Unless thinking that someone no longer loves you or that they are cheating on you are no longer insecurities? Also the people need constant confirmation.
I agree with that, but that is how many young couples are, at least ones I've observed.
And I would say that your effective and responsive partners aren't as common as you may think. People get burned when they are young and form bad habits for relationships. I would say that you are very lucky to have a partner like the one you have, because I don't think it is so common. Certainly not common enough to come by easily.
To add onto Pend's last sentence - Especially in youth.
Don't have to watch crap tv, no waiting for the bathroom, no-one worried if you are late home.
There's nothing I do differently in a relationship than I do as a single person.
I never understood the whole asking for permission or restrictions thing - we're equals, right? Not surrogate parents. :shrug:
The biggest benefit to me: freedom from all that damn bitching. If I wanted a mother I'd find one.
I've had the bad judgment to wind up with a lot of control freaks. I'm still trying to find out what it is about insecurity that I find so fucking appealing subconsciously.