Being Thanked.

[datsjj]

After a hookup was walked to the door, I said Goodbye, Which he followed with "Thank you", I felt so odd about it, would you feel odd being thanked for a hookup as if it was a transaction?

 

[Uctopper]

Good question. I guess it depends on how it was said and what he did after he said it. Kissed you, grabbed your crotch, slapped your ass? “Thank you, we’ll have to do this again.” would have been better. Maybe he was just being polite.

 

[Tbprivate]

Nothing weird IMO
Thanks for a good time

 

[cedarizzo]

I don't find anything weird about being told Thank You. In fact, I almost always tell guys thank you after they come over for sex. I think some of them find it weird since they are the one that got off, not me, but getting them off is what I enjoy.

I had one guy that wouldn't say anything after he got off. He would get dressed and leave without saying a word. I find that weird. It seems like he regretted what happened, but he would come over once a week for a few months and it was the same each time. I got to the point where I would loudly say "Thank you" to him to try and get a response. But he would never say anything.

 

[malakos]

Well, the concept of transaction generally suggests some sort of business deal. In such a deal, it is normally understood that one will provide a service or a commodity that is of roughly equal economic value to what is paid.

The typical sort of simply social interaction shares some of the same sorts of expectations. In a social interaction conducted in good faith, it is expected that we will not be lied to (save perhaps for white lies, which are benevolent and so possibly in the spirit of acting in good faith), among other similar expectations of fair conduct. But simply social interactions do not share the expectation of each interaction involving an exchange of goods of roughly equal economic value. Social interactions are sustained because overall the parties involved believe they are in some way overall benefiting each other. But this open, hopeful reciprocity is structurally much looser than the narrow value equivalence of a transaction.

"Thank you" communicates gratitude, which in the most basic sense just indicates appreciation. I don't see anything inherent about it that is at all like a monetary transaction. When I say "thank you", I am recognizing that someone has done something good for me, or has somehow benefitted me, and I am expressing appreciation for it. I am not acknowledging that we had an exchange of some things of equivalent economic or economic-like value.

Does it feel weird when a friend thanks you for coming out to spend his/her birthday with him/her? It does not for me. And if it does not for you, it's worth asking why being thanked in this different context made you think of transactions. Is it not possible that the way it made you feel has more to do with how you feel about this sort of sexual context, than it does about being thanked (which I believe I've shown is often something other than a recognition of a transaction)?

 

[516778]

I would say thank you as he is walking out the door is very odd. Either he fd up on his wording, hes bad with words, or he just saw it as a business transaction but in a sex sort of transaction.

Now, Malakos goes into a great bit of detail of explaining what a transaction is and what a thank you means and while it all made sense from a very logically and clearly thought out statement the missing key element is that sex is not a transaction. Unless you are a lady of the night. Which this does not seem to be the case.
Ive never had a friend just say 'thank you' for coming to their birthday party. Ive been told thank you for coming to my party, or glad you could make it, etc etc. Not just thank you. That would seem odd to me even.
And i guess the question I have is was this guy talkative during the hookup? Or did he come in and say like hey and then you started having sex?

If it was the latter then that explains it for me. He wasn't there for chit chat or to say much if anything. So the thank you was just thrown out there without anything behind it or any meaning...he isnt good with words or good with what to say in that situation.
If he was talkative and you were both really into it, kissing, moaning, talking to each other etc and he was into it etc then I think he just said whatever came to his head first. He probably meant more than just thank you but it was such in the moment kind of leaving after sex kind of deal that it just blurted out some nonsense. Was anything said after he/you came and you got dressed? This would help determine what kind of situation we're looking at.

So in conclusion I would say:
60% he just blurted out something random, first thing that came to his mind, probably hated saying it after he said it.
40% he wasn't there for chit chat and didnt have shit to say except for hey and then to have sex. Ive seen many hookup videos like that. They dont say anything they just come in and start having sex or there might be a hey and then sex. So it's not implausible that this is the case depends on how he was when he first got there and during the sex.
(See above)

 

[thebiggulp]

I thank and get thanked for my sexual services all the time. He got what he wanted, I got what I wanted, so saying thank you is both of us expressing our gratitude for what has just occurred. Not weird at all.

 

[theplayerking]

I thank people for passing the salt across the table at dinner. It doesn’t imply a transaction. Just common courtesy. With hookups, I always thank a guy for hosting at the very least.

 

[headbang8]

I thank people for passing the salt across the table at dinner. It doesn’t imply a transaction. Just common courtesy. With hookups, I always thank a guy for hosting at the very least.

Totally agree. In my family of origin, so the argument went, we never thanked each other because we were doing things for each other that we were obliged to do. It’s nothing special, so thanks would be flaky or patronizing.

As an adult, I say fuck that. Two people treating each other with respect IS something special, and just because it’s everyday doesn’t mean you don't appreciate it. In fact, NOT saying thanks makes it feel more like a transaction. As a boss, I always thank people, even if what they’ve done is part of their job. In the words of James Joyce, gratitude for the little sacraments of everyday life is what makes us feel human.

 

[HungBtmVegas]

I've had that, I find it awkward and cute lol

 

[Andrue]

Unless the event went sour and you are/he is leaving because things went unexpectedly creepy, there’s nothing weird about a simple “Thanks, that was fun” as you/he head out the door. It is simply letting them know that you had a nice or hot or fucking awesome fun time and you appreciate their participation and possibly their hospitality.

I’m having a hard time figuring out what’s odd about doing that.

 

[thebiggulp]

I find it EXTRA hot when they are gone, and they send you a thank you text. It means that they are still thinking about you hours or DAYS after you've been together. I still get the odd message on Facebook from a guy I blew over thirty years ago referencing my lack of a gag reflex. Hopefully, I deleted those messages before my mother, sister or neices read them.

 

[MancmanMatt]

If it was good I always say thank you. It's to help show my appreciation for what we just enjoyed together. I also give complements.

I get the impression that most guys don't get complimented much. If you've got skills and I'm enjoying particular aspects of your physicality then I'm going to tell you.

 

[cedarizzo]

I get the impression that most guys don't get complimented much.

That is the impression I have gotten.

My parents raised me to say Please and Thank you. But the biggest reason I say it is because my first job was at a fast food restaurant, and they were very big on everybody working said Please and Thank You for EVERYTHING! (I also learned how to say it with attitude when I wasn't happy.)

But as guys leave after getting off, I always say Thank You and I find it odd the guys who leave without saying anything in return.

I've had 2 guys that after they get off and leave, they would give me the weirdest looks when I said Thank You to them. The first time it happened, I thought that even though they got off, they must have been disappointed. But both of them have been over many times for repeat encounters.

I think some guys just don't know how to be polite.

 

[brandon38]

I find it EXTRA hot when they are gone, and they send you a thank you text. It means that they are still thinking about you hours or DAYS after you've been together. I still get the odd message on Facebook from a guy I blew over thirty years ago referencing my lack of a gag reflex. Hopefully, I deleted those messages before my mother, sister or neices read them.

You must be very talented.

 

[brandon38]

I got thank before I was told they real need it and was good at it I was like you welcome.

 

[odave]

After a first time hookup with someone, I usually go out of my way to thank him, especially if we shared good chemistry and connected emotionally. I’ll usually back up my thank you with some sincere words like “I really enjoyed our time together.” When someone freely shares their sexual self with me, I appreciate that and will always thank him. And if the other guy enjoyed it as well, he usually thanks me in return...and if it was really mutually satisfying and fulfilling, we seal it with some hot open mouth goodbye kissing, and a “let’s get together again soon,”

 

[Player_01]

If it was a good time, I say thanks. I'm happy to have had someone help me cum.

 

[thebiggulp]

You must be very talented.

I give it my best. Now if I could turn it into a cash career, I'd really be cooking.

 

[brandon38]

I give it my best. Now if I could turn it into a cash career, I'd really be cooking.

I here you I with you on that .