Being with a girl and being bi

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by doesitgetbetter, Nov 29, 2010.

  1. doesitgetbetter

    doesitgetbetter New Member

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    Hi everyone - quick question to you all...

    Are there guys here on LPSG whose GFs know they are bi? How did you come out to them? I'm lost - feeling dual attractions and not sure what to say to the girls I end up wanting to be with. Doesn't seem good (or right?) to drop the - "oh btw I can be attracted to guys too."

    Any advice appreciated.
     
  2. Whopper-lee

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    Keep it on the DL brotha is my advise.
    Hell a female can get a general sense or idea when dating you if she is in tune an wise many times without you sayin anything trust...like a mother:rolleyes:
    But if they love and care for you, they just may straight out ask you...then if you chose open up ith the trust you feel in the relationship.
    But..and this is a BIG BUT: Be aware..women talk!
    So the question is how comfortable are you with folks and the public knowing you are bi-sexual, an how will this effect your future, jobs, family, other male and female relationships with friens etc.
    My advise is....Don't ask...Don't tell theory <wink>

    PS and if you aren't adleast 25-30 y/o old... I'd say nothing you may not be actually sure andstable what you are attrated to more!
     
    #2 Whopper-lee, Nov 30, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2010
  3. Charles Finn

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    for me I was always open and honest with my girl friends
    my last one even met my boyfriend
    do what feels right to you
    never lie to yourself or the one you care about
    always be honest about your feelings and always play safe
    I am now 43 and openly bi but I prefer guys
     
  4. sheneeds

    sheneeds Member

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    Some dig it some will assuredly run for the hills. You must live for YOU my friend and YOUR happiness and needs and wants are what's important. DON'T let others beliefs and needs keep you from yours. The girls that like it will give you the best times obviously so take each as they come. I never drempt of being with a man until we went to a nude beach and I looked at the cocks hanging in the sun...the rest was a few suttle hints to my wife of 25 yrs and I eventually sucked one.Fucked one etc. We have had a couple 3 ways and we love it.BIG COCKS of 8" or more.
     
  5. doesitgetbetter

    doesitgetbetter New Member

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    I couldn't agree more - but I've found that guys talk, too, and I want to make sure any girl I end up wanting to be with knows the deal from me - and not from someone else scorned and making up shit.....
     
  6. DRW414

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    I like Whopper's response. If you are young, and not in a serious relationship, you may want to hold off a while. And to add to that, I would suggest you keep it on the low until you get comfortable in your relationship. At that point I would say go for it. I have told all my past GF's, with the exception of my first, and last ones. They were all pretty shocked, and a little upset at first, but they respected the honesty, and loved the Dick. They get over it, but may always wonder about any guy they see you with from that day forward.

    Hope that helps a little!
     
  7. 8060

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    Then all the more reason you need to do some soul searching about how you want to handle the rest of your relationships. When you don't take control over your own sexuality (stating to someone else precisely what your sexuality is) then you leave it to be susceptible to them.

    Now, as free as I try to live with my sexuality, I would tend to agree with Whopper when he said don't say anything. I've experienced it (the backdraft) first hand from telling a woman about my sexuality so we start off on the right foot in my opinion and she can't take it or chose not to accept it is a better way of putting it. Thankfully, by then, I had already taken control of my own sexuality and her 'move' was not as detrimental as she had hoped.

    People will talk about you regardless, especially within the black community. I can say that because I'm black and I travel in the community. I'm not sure about other ethnic groups, hence no comment about them. Us, is a different story. Search and search hard for what you want to do because once you jump, there is no jumpin' back.
     
  8. B_willy5904

    B_willy5904 New Member

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    My wife found out the first night we had sex in my dorm room. After we had been going at it for a while my roommate came into the room, and I shared her with him. The three of us had great sex with no boundaries. She later told me that watching my buddy and I have sex was a super hot turn on for her.

    My wife says that she found my bisexuality to be very refreshing. She is drawn to men and women that are very confident sexually. For her open bisexual more often exhibit that confidence.

    Be honest and open about who you are, and you will find partners that respect that. I know I have and my wife and I are still having sex with my roommate after al these years.
     
  9. badger2395

    badger2395 Member

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    Exactly right. While I understand the caution advised by other posters, it can end up being a tremendous drain trying to maintain a double life.
     
  10. erratic

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    Do you want to be with someone who doesn't love you for who you are?
     
  11. LGX

    LGX Member

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    Many women tend to be jealous....and they'll ALWAYS have that at the back of their mind. See how kinky she is first. Other than that, you may have to keep your feelings on teh DL.
     
  12. LGX

    LGX Member

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    Also, be careful as some things might come back to bite you. Meaning, don't go "experimenting" if that's not a life style you want exposed. Let's say, you become management, celeb, politician (anything is possible) you don't want people coming out saying stuff. It can get real ugly.
     
  13. DasLeezard

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    I'm sure glad you said 'Many' and not 'All'... because I would KILL to have a bi bf.
     
  14. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

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    Lies Lies Lies??? Why lie about yourself and expect her to enjoy living your lie? Find a way to share the real you. If she doesn't want it, move on. By telling her the truth, you have the potential to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship that is open and honest. Doing nothing is simply nothing. Be proud of who you are inside and out.
     
  15. LGX

    LGX Member

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    *switches to all*

    OMG, now I know a serial killer!:biggrin1:
     
  16. DasLeezard

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    I'm working on Life right now... This stuff is addicting.
     
  17. Mastur

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    Have to admit, this gave me a hard-on!
     
  18. Mastur

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    I'll be your bi-bf anytime!
     
  19. D_Edwin Eatser

    D_Edwin Eatser New Member

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    I like whopper's reply too. Or, you could arrange a 3some with her and another bi guy and show her. She'll probably be fascinated, most females are.
     
  20. petite

    petite New Member

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    Why would you want to be involved with a woman who doesn't understand or accept who you are? I'm straight, and I wouldn't date a man who is homophobic or close-minded or judgmental about bisexuality, so I don't understand being bisexual and being okay with it. :confused22:

    I believe that you should be totally honest and upfront and unashamed. If a woman rejects you because of it, then she wasn't the right one for you.

    There appears to be an assumption here that all bi-men are simultaneously having relationships and/or sex with both men and women at the same time, which would be an issue of polyamory, not bisexuality. Not all bisexual men are polyamorous. That's a totally different issue than whether you are also attracted to men.

    I've been in two long term relationships with bisexual men and there were not secrets like that between us. Neither bisexual man I dated believed that he needed to see men at the same time as me. We were not polyamorous, although they were both bisexual.

    If you aren't telling a woman that you aren't sleeping with men at the same time as her, that's not just being deceptive about who you are as a person, that's also cheating. She has the right to know that you are having sex with men, if you are, because that's not just a matter of your relationship and trust and honesty, you are placing her health at risk, too, if she believes that you are being faithful to her and she's trusting you enough to have unprotected sex with you.
     
    #20 petite, Nov 30, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2010
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