A
AM_092
Guest
Hi everyone Just wanna have a chat about having a relationship, where you can't seem to move from 'liking' them to 'loving' them.
I've been together with my boyfriend for almost 6 months now. We met over the internet and met up in person and became very fond of each other very quickly. We get a long really well, have never had a single argument and respect each other a lot. During the first few months, everything was very passionate, but because we both lead very busy lives, we only got to see each other once or twice a week.
This kind of slowed our relationship down as I felt it stopped us from moving on/getting more and more serious. Now, after about 2-3 months, he had already told me he loved me. I however, didn't feel the same way, not even close (even though I do 'like' him a lot). Now after 5-6 months, I still don't love him. This is also my first serious relationship and I've never loved someone before.
There just seems to be so many problems between us. Problems that he can't seem to see. Some problems include the fact that because we don't see each other often and even when we can find time to see each other, it's only a quick lunch and very 'routine' stuff like going to a nearby park to sit and talk and 'catch up'. He's fine with that, but I need more. We've tried going to dinner and stuff and putting more time aside for each other, but he doesn't put as much effort as I do.
There was even a time when we didn't see each other for more than 2 weeks (mostly on his part, I put time aside for him). Because he lives with his mates and he's still in the closet, he doesn't like me calling him in case someone picks up. So, I always have to wait for him to call/text me. Because our gaps between seeing each other can go up to 10 days, I tell him to call me everyday, but he doesn't.
Then, it was my birthday on Friday (few days ago). I had lunch with my family during the day and was waiting for him to pick me up for dinner (which was planned). He actually didn't call/text me all day to say happy birthday I waited all night for him and around 8, I decided to text him to see what going on. In his text, which he replied back one hour later (I was very upset by this stage), he said he had to finish some presentations for his course and needs to finish them in 2 days, so he couldn't see me that night.
He didn't say happy birthday either. I was very upset because why didn't he have the courtesy to call/text me earlier. I was disappointed, and I could have made plans with my friends instead for waiting on him for hours. Today, he sent me a text (he didn't contact me since my birthday) asking: are you still mad?
I texted back to him saying that I was just upset etc. blah blah blah. It seems like things aren't working out for us... etc. And I told him to call me.
He didn't for 30 minutes, then I decided to call him. He didn't pick up, then he finally called me like an hour later.
We spoke and he apologised and everything. I told him I wanted to end things, but he wanted us to work on it etc. And so that's where I am now. I know that we're worth fighting for, but I'm not sure if I want to fight. I'm too tired now. I've been so upset that it's affecting my university work!
I can really see us being together for a long, long time, but he needs to pull his act together in order for us to last. The odd thing is, he wants this relationship to work more than I do. He loves me more than I love him, and he will be more heartbroken when we end than I will. Then I don't know why he does these sort of things to me. Also, he's a lot older than I am, so I expect him to be the more mature person in our relationship. I guess I shouldn't.
Anyway, enough of my ramblings. Anyone here down about something in their relationship? Or have similar experiences? How did you cope? Did it work out? I'd love to hear some stories
I've been together with my boyfriend for almost 6 months now. We met over the internet and met up in person and became very fond of each other very quickly. We get a long really well, have never had a single argument and respect each other a lot. During the first few months, everything was very passionate, but because we both lead very busy lives, we only got to see each other once or twice a week.
This kind of slowed our relationship down as I felt it stopped us from moving on/getting more and more serious. Now, after about 2-3 months, he had already told me he loved me. I however, didn't feel the same way, not even close (even though I do 'like' him a lot). Now after 5-6 months, I still don't love him. This is also my first serious relationship and I've never loved someone before.
There just seems to be so many problems between us. Problems that he can't seem to see. Some problems include the fact that because we don't see each other often and even when we can find time to see each other, it's only a quick lunch and very 'routine' stuff like going to a nearby park to sit and talk and 'catch up'. He's fine with that, but I need more. We've tried going to dinner and stuff and putting more time aside for each other, but he doesn't put as much effort as I do.
There was even a time when we didn't see each other for more than 2 weeks (mostly on his part, I put time aside for him). Because he lives with his mates and he's still in the closet, he doesn't like me calling him in case someone picks up. So, I always have to wait for him to call/text me. Because our gaps between seeing each other can go up to 10 days, I tell him to call me everyday, but he doesn't.
Then, it was my birthday on Friday (few days ago). I had lunch with my family during the day and was waiting for him to pick me up for dinner (which was planned). He actually didn't call/text me all day to say happy birthday I waited all night for him and around 8, I decided to text him to see what going on. In his text, which he replied back one hour later (I was very upset by this stage), he said he had to finish some presentations for his course and needs to finish them in 2 days, so he couldn't see me that night.
He didn't say happy birthday either. I was very upset because why didn't he have the courtesy to call/text me earlier. I was disappointed, and I could have made plans with my friends instead for waiting on him for hours. Today, he sent me a text (he didn't contact me since my birthday) asking: are you still mad?
I texted back to him saying that I was just upset etc. blah blah blah. It seems like things aren't working out for us... etc. And I told him to call me.
He didn't for 30 minutes, then I decided to call him. He didn't pick up, then he finally called me like an hour later.
We spoke and he apologised and everything. I told him I wanted to end things, but he wanted us to work on it etc. And so that's where I am now. I know that we're worth fighting for, but I'm not sure if I want to fight. I'm too tired now. I've been so upset that it's affecting my university work!
I can really see us being together for a long, long time, but he needs to pull his act together in order for us to last. The odd thing is, he wants this relationship to work more than I do. He loves me more than I love him, and he will be more heartbroken when we end than I will. Then I don't know why he does these sort of things to me. Also, he's a lot older than I am, so I expect him to be the more mature person in our relationship. I guess I shouldn't.
Anyway, enough of my ramblings. Anyone here down about something in their relationship? Or have similar experiences? How did you cope? Did it work out? I'd love to hear some stories