belated ex-sex

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by bobby7ri, Apr 17, 2010.

  1. bobby7ri

    bobby7ri New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Messages:
    21
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    My ex told me last night that she hasn't had someone else give her an orgasm since she broke up with my over a year ago and she missed fucking me. So, she came over today we fucked, haven't really decided how I. feel about this yet. Any of you ever been in a situation like this?
     
  2. nedly32

    nedly32 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2007
    Messages:
    84
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    syracuse ny
    yes,and it did not end well it was a nasty yo-yo effect till i had enough,and that is not one game i would ever play agian.good luck
     
  3. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2010
    Messages:
    3,291
    Likes Received:
    6
    Similar and then afterwards i realised what a total frikken waste of space he really is as he told me he had 7 missed calls from his current gf that i DIDNT know he had............and he has a small willy as well!
     
  4. molotovmuffin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    7,485
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Exactly. An ex is an ex for a reason. Leave her there where she belongs. It's not your fault that she can't get off with other guys, it's her problem not yours.

    Leave it alone and walk away.
     
  5. petergroot

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2007
    Messages:
    3,724
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,734
    Gender:
    Male
    Tasha I love you...
    and he had a small willy as well!!!
    ex-sex is fucked-up sex. the dumping was done, the scars are sorta healed, and then you go right back and rip it open.Stupid.
     
  6. exwhyzee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    4,578
    Likes Received:
    36
    Gender:
    Male
  7. hud01

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2009
    Messages:
    5,262
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    new york city
    The only thing one ex and I had going was sex for the last year of the relationship.

    We had ex sex off and on for 4 years after we broke up. It was fine. I felt nothing for her emotionally, so I had no problems with it. There was no chance of the relationship ever rekindling.

    I even had sex with her two days before her marriage. Her husband was next to us.
     
  8. cdog204

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2007
    Messages:
    674
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    196
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London
    Been on the ex-sex rollercoaster a few times. The sex is always hot, just make sure to set boundaries as you don't want to roll back into the relationship. It ended for a reason and it probably wasn't the sex.
     
  9. Incocknito

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2009
    Messages:
    2,567
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    La monde
    Don't make a habit of it. Remember why you broke up!
     
  10. dickman45885

    dickman45885 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2005
    Messages:
    730
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    ohio
    Ex's are ex's for a reason.....run, do not walk, the other way. Her inability to get off is her problem, not yours.
     
  11. the_reverend

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2006
    Messages:
    2,254
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Male
    one ex in college and i habitually hooked up for a few months after we had officially "broken up." then we ended it completely...shortly before she started dating one of my best friends, whom she's now married to. so don't think we're going to be relapsing into that anytime soon. ;)

    my next girlfriend and i broke up for about a month, then she wound up drunk dialing me. i called her back when we were both sober, we realized we missed each other, so i went over to hang out and talk about stuff...within five minutes, we were going at it. and after that we were back together for about a year until we moved to opposite ends of the country and decided to end it. and even then, we wound up hooking up when she came into town for her brother's wedding. she's got a new boyfriend in her current city who she's been with longer than we were together...but she confessed the sex with him was okay, but not as good as we were. still, he's there and i'm not, so she's with him and i doubt we'll backslide again. :p

    and, as i mentioned in another thread, an old high school ex who's now married got back in contact with me and a tremendous amount of beer and decade's worth of sexual tension later, we were going at each other...and then again a couple of days later. we've made out once since, but i'm trying to curtail such activities as much as possible.

    honestly, i think it depends on how things ended, where you both are now and what each of you wants out of it. if you ended on good terms and you just want some nostalgic horny fun, go for it. if one of you wants something more or things ended badly (or one of you is now married...:p), it's probably best to avoid it. but only the two of you can decide which is which.
     
  12. B_Drake9

    B_Drake9 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    in my house
    I have had this problem before. Not something I advise. You might get a few cheap thrills, but try to remember that you broke up for a reason.
     
  13. hud01

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2009
    Messages:
    5,262
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    new york city
    If you are having ex-sex that means you broke up for reasons outside of the bedroom.
     
  14. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2005
    Messages:
    1,286
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Bay Area, California
    If she liked sex with you, suggest that she think about what you did that helped her orgasm, and then ask her other partner(s) to do that.

    As I see it, if you broke up, then there is some underlying incompatibility between you two. Sex won't make that incompatibility go away - but hot sex could lead you back into a relationship that wasn't good for you in the first place.

    The best you could do is be a fuck-buddy for her - but only if you both understand that it stays like so you don't try to get romantic again.
     
  15. schwulboy1989

    schwulboy1989 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2009
    Messages:
    470
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    53
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Huntersville, NC
    not long after my ex and i broke up, i was SUPER horny...because his only good quality was the one i lost when we broke up: his penis (see a video in my gallery :p)

    i decided that since he cheated on me while I was asleep 3 feet away, I was entitled to use him for all the sex i wanted...so i used his inability to get over our relationship to my advantage and convinced him that "i still wanted to be friends, and that (knowing him as well as I did) I didn't want him seeking out random sex partners because it's unsafe...so let's be friends with benefits"

    and i pretty much booty-called him for about 6 months following our break-up before i moved back up to school and wanted to try actually finding a relationship...

    i got out of it by telling him that being friends just wasn't working for me, because i was still emotionally fucked up by what he did, and told him that it was best if we parted ways.

    I know, I'm a manipulative bitch. You don't have to tell me. It was well deserved on my part, and I didn't do any lasting damage that was any worse than what he did to me. Revenge isn't the answer, I know, but sometimes a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do...god he was good sex, though...

    fortunately now i've got a good boyfriend who treats me right...and while he's working with a number of inches less than my ex, he still hits all the right spots ;)
     
  16. conntom

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2008
    Messages:
    2,176
    Likes Received:
    147
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston (MA, US)



    Same here. But I'd do it again. I'mma whore.
     
  17. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2010
    Messages:
    3,291
    Likes Received:
    6
    Ahh Peter i love you too....
    and yes he did and whats more it was skinny!
    We didnt split up due to another other than me not prepared to have babies by him due to me already having enough children....but that night we kind of chatted about nothing in particular and then it happened.........as well as the rollicking i gave him about failure to tell me he had a gf.
     
  18. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    34
    Gender:
    Female
    Backsliding? Yes, I've done it. Most of my relationship end well and I remain friends with ex-es for a long time after we've broken up. I've even doubled dated with ex-es. How's that for a good ending?

    I am one of those people who continue to have deep feelings for the people I was involved with after the relationship is over. Maybe part of that is also the type of men I tend to be attracted to. Most of them aren't the type of men who burn bridges and who consider my friendship to be as valuable and desirable as I consider theirs after our relationship is over. I'm easy to get along with.

    When I was in my early twenties I backslid with my first love for a long time after we broke up. We had been together for five years. Even after we broke up, we were still best friends and spent a lot of time together, often several times a week. He was an amazing lover, and the way I felt about him, no one else came close. We just kept ending up in bed over and over again. After we broke up, we slept together irregularly for about two and a half years. It was a huge mistake that I didn't fully realise at the time because we seemed to be making it work, it actually just extended the pain of the breakup for a very long time. It would have been better if we did not sleep together. It would have saved both of us a lot of pain. We're still friends today, but distant ones, mostly because of his wife, whom I make nervous even though I've attempted to become friends with her. I still care about him.
     
    #18 petite, Apr 21, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2010
  19. Gillette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,309
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Nova Scotia
    Moving on requires not going back. At all.

    But it so easy to do. You already know each other so that whole getting to know each phase is done. You might miss the sex, and since you're not constantly with that person all the reasons it was wrong are no longer on your mind.

    So what harm could it do?

    Sex releases endorphins which help you feel all 'special' about that person again even when you don't conciously realise it. It's often what triggers the thoughts of "maybe it wasn't really that bad" that coax you into trying again, which will last until the behaviors that broke you up in the first place become a stronger disincentive than the pleasure is incentive.

    You don't have any feelings left so you're not worried about that? Cool. Still avoid it because, "I haven't been able to cum with anyone else since you", is bait for your ego. A typical ploy to get something from you. You can't be sure it's not more than another romp in the hay she's angling for.

    Either way it's a potentially sticky situation best avoided.
     
  20. B_Jules7

    B_Jules7 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    399
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London
    You end up with two scenarios.. either one person gets hurt and the other gets to have meaningless sex... or one person gets hurt and the other feels guilty and then also feels hurt. Not a lot of upside... I did this to quite a few ex's who always hoped we would get back together and then then got really hurt and then I felt bad.
    Then i broke up with a girl and it was a clean break - never saw her again, and it was the best outcome ever. I ended up meeting loads of new girls, got laid often with all kinds of different girls (good and bad), and my ex recovered and moved on. Everybody wins!

    But I would never judge you for doing it because it takes a lot of will power to turn it down.. just don't get too hurt
     
Draft saved Draft deleted