Benefits of Being a Woman

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by Principessa, Jan 18, 2009.

  1. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Nov 22, 2006
    Likes Received:
    We got off the Titanic first.

    We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

    Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

    We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

    We can cry and get off speeding fines.

    We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

    Taxis stop for us.

    Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

    We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

    Free drinks, free dinners.

    We can hug our friends without wondering if they're gay.

    We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

    New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

    If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.

    It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

    No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

    We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

    If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

    We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.

    If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

    We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

    If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

    We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

    We have the ability to dress ourselves.

    We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

    If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

    There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

    We'll never regret piercing our ears.

    We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

    We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.

    We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
  2. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

    Dec 19, 2007
    Likes Received:
    we never have to wait in line at clubs and bars.

    we don't get drafted into war.

    we smell better and have softer skin.

    jewelry is given to us.

    there is no such thing as too many shoes and purses.

    our breasts and cleavage are lethal and can be used to break a lot of rules! :wink:

    we can cry to get what we want and make men feel like shit for making us cry.

    flirting can get us anywhere!

    doors are always opened for us.

    and heavy lifting is never required!
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