Best breakup advice posts on here?

[NottsBound]

I'm trying to use the search function to see the best advice for me it but it's hard to get relevant results.

I'm going through one right now, sticking through the no contact phase but I'm struggling a bit.

So if you guys know any posts that have good general post breakup advice let me know.

Or simply share your best advice that you have

Thank you

 

[Sklar]

It's hard to give advice when we know nothing of what actually happened.

So you broke up.

Who broke up with who? How long were you together? What was the reason for the breakup?

If all you want is "I'm suddenly single, miss my ex but want to move on" type advice then just move on.

Dwelling on the past is an anchor and the path to depression. Remember what you did (activities) when you were single and do that.

Sklar

 

[sodominsane]

Time.....just time....I've tried a few tricks....the first is a rebound....or occupying time with new activity....or just dewelling on it for a bit to get it out of system

However I found that the only thing....well time

 

[286798]

I'm not sure if this is the BEST thing, but I need to stay busy and involved in POSITIVE things. With my divorce, I started training for triathlons, a half-marathon and other athletic events. With the end of my LTR, I was involved in my church. I've seen so many people go off the deep end with drugs, alcohol, random hookups, etc. Even if it's not always dealing with the underlying issues (which need to be dealt with) I think being immersed in the positive things are better than the self-destructive things.

 

[paintergal]

I am in the same boat too. Time, keeping busy, surrounding yourself with positive people and investing in yourself is all you can do. For me, all of that shelps but I always have moments where I think about him and end up crying.

After not talking for 6 months, he contacted me wanting pick things up sexually as strictly as friends and lovers which opened up fresh wounds and I had to put him on block, delete his number, email address. It was crushing but I had to also delete his texts so I would stop going back and reading them, analyzing everything. It’s also made me realize that maybe the sex was so good with each other that we are addicted to each other despite being on different wave lengths.

And it’s okay to have those days where you think want engage in self destructive behaviour and do things like eat crap, have random hook ups (that usually is bad sex) spend money on things you don’t need and other vices.

I hope you arrive at a good place in time.

 

[LaFemme]

You will get past this.

The last relationship that ended for me was devastating. I felt so lied to, so betrayed. I’m the one who ended it, but I had to - he was making me crazy. I doubted myself, I wanted to get him back, say I didn’t mean it. I cried for months. But I knew eventually I’d get over it. I held onto that thought. I knew there’d be a day he wouldn’t be the first thing I thought about in the morning. I’d get over it. And I did. It kept me strong. I knew there’d be a day I wouldn’t miss him anymore. I’m over him.

 

[deleted300444]

I'm trying to use the search function to see the best advice for me it but it's hard to get relevant results.

I'm going through one right now, sticking through the no contact phase but I'm struggling a bit.

So if you guys know any posts that have good general post breakup advice let me know.

Or simply share your best advice that you have

Thank you

....and now 10 days later, how is it going?

My suggestion, don't Google, research, read about it, breakups..it is a trap...it only leads to a black hole.
While difficult, the "no contact rule" works best. No text, no call, no email, and maybe no FB social media. Think about you, what was your role/part that contributed to breakup? Ask how you can improve yourself. If you see them try not to be passive aggressive...just be nice. It sucks bad enough breaking up - don't make it worse by creating awkward moments. Don't drink too much, jerking off is unlimited.

 

[nailz]

1. Cut all contact (if it didn't work once, it's not going to work on subsequent tries).

2. Find something constructive to occupy yourself. Exercise always works, combining it with learning another skill/hobby is even better.

3. Wait.

 

[halcyondays]

Grief hurts like hell but there's no pill for it. The only prescription for grief is to grieve.

Feel it all and let it go. Take all the time you need.

 

[bigbucky]

some gen'l info would be nice. but no crying, no "come back to me or I'll kill myself" crap, no stalking, no phone/text games, no violence. just walk away. plenty of "fish in the sea." when it's over, it's over.

 

[Candidate]

He broke up with me in January, it lasted barely a month but it's worse than all my previous breakups combined for some reason, probably because I was dumped at the height of my infatuation for him, I spent the following days and weeks pondering the "what-ifs" and "could-have-beens". In fact this breakup is so disruptive I took a long trip back home and re-evaluated my life and made some major career changes.

Two weeks ago (after I got back), I contacted him for drinks, he said he would "let me know" but never did. Part of me knew very well we are done but I'd really kick myself for not at least trying to become friends. I have since stopped stalking him on social media but am I completely over him? Nope. Here's what I keep telling myself that he's the wrong one for me every time I get sentimental: He's (borderline) asexual, has a really small penis with conditions which almost makes it impossible for him penetrate without coming too soon, and he has never done anal in his life. So whoever ends up with him next, good luck! I don't know what I was hanging onto him for, love is blind I guess.

For now, I just focus on improving myself and envisioning the type of guy who's a better fit for me.

 

[autoballer]

Everyone needs to remember two things in all relationships and they are extremely important!
1. People don't change. (Unless they want too very very much)
2. If you cannot accept them as they are you need to move on quickly.

Rebounding is hard and not fair to anyone either. Be aware of yourself talking about your ex, and comparing your new relationships to that of your ex's.

Now go watch some porn and take up the entire bed for yourself!

 

[twoton]

Time. It can take a really long time. The only advice I can give you is that you'll eventually get past it.

 

[visorkols]

Have a list, move onto the next one.