Best Cheating Excuses

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Principessa, Nov 27, 2009.

  1. Principessa

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    Found These as a TrendingTopic on Twitter.


    #Cheatingexcuses: It's not cheating since the girl who gave me a BJ was a lesbian. WTF!?! Does she not know lesbian means 'no sucking dick!

    #CheatingExcuses: Well, what was I supposed to do? You had your period, I couldn't wait 5 days for nookie.

    #CheatingExcuses: I don't know how those nude pics of Kristie C. got on my cell phone.

    #Cheatingexcuses: well you wouldn't do it! I'm tryna save US!

    #Cheatingexcuses her turkey was tighter than urs baby...I enjoyed stuffing it!!!

    #Cheatingexcuses in the great words of Plies," YOU DAMN RIGHT I CHEATED, COULDN"T GET IT FROM YOU WHEN NEEDED IT!!!!"

    #Cheatingexcuses: , weLL , he's better in bed than you, & i just didnt have the heart to teLL you, you dont know what ur doing.

    #Cheatingexcuses:, you were going to cheat on me sooner or later, i did it first.
     
  2. Pitbull

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    Some of those are not excuses - just statements of fact. :smile:
     
  3. D_Tim McGnaw

    D_Tim McGnaw Account Disabled

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    I'd probably use or say all of those and worse ;)
     
  4. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    LMAO! Gentleman, you are incorrigible! :eek:
     
  5. Drifterwood

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    You're a crap fuck and I needed to enjoy myself before I die.
     
  6. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    That's not what you said last week big boy :tongue:
     
  7. D_Tim McGnaw

    D_Tim McGnaw Account Disabled

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    I think, I think I once said to a guy, "It's not your fault you did everything you could, I'm just a lousy cunt" LOL
     
  8. Principessa

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    Oh really? Hmm, no wonder you're still single. :tongue:
     
  9. HellsKitchenmanNYC

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    "It was just there!"
     
  10. Rommette

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    I got a few:

    1. Well, what did you expect me to do? She looked good
    2. If you don't want me to cheat then you should give me head. If I don't get it from you i'll go somewhere else.
    3. You're always taking care of the kids. You never have time for me anymore.
    4. You're not as tight as you were before you had the kids.
    5. She came on to me. Its not my fault then.
     
  11. Bbucko

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    I once said "It wasn't a full-on blowjob, it was just a 'glunk-glunk', that's all".

    But it was behind a dumpster at Gay Pride, and he knew I was no angel.
     
  12. nudeyorker

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    My moral compass does not always point due north, but since I am no longer single we have an agreement that if we are going to cheat then lets do it together. This agreement has worked very well and when I have been away from home and met someone and shared the perimeters of our agreement most have respected it and thanked me for being honest. However once while I was overseas someone was really wanting to do the dirty hula with me and after I explained our agreement he said "Can we call him and put him on speaker phone?" Long story short it did not happen; but I admired his tenacity.
     
  13. Mr. Snakey

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    I don't cheat. She will work some roots on me for sure.
     
  14. Principessa

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    :lmao: See that would be the bad side to marrying a black woman that nobody talks about. :rofl: We don't take no tea for the fever and most of us don't accept cheating. :cool: turning the other cheek is just not an option.
     
  15. novice_btm

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    Well, I somewhat heard one on the opposite side of things. "Afterward", he said, "You don't know how bad I needed this. This 'no sex during pregnancy' thing is killin' me, and my hand stopped cuttin' it. Can you believe it's our third?" :eek: He seemed to think that I knew he was even married, let alone having his third kid. I guess because we'd been chatting almost every day for so long, he thought I knew everything about him.
     
  16. novice_btm

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    Really? Race makes a difference? :rolleyes: Um... Hello? Lorena Bobbitt is a white chick.
     
  17. Principessa

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    I was alluding to the ridiculous generalizations that some black men make about black women being overbearing, dominant, and aggressive. :irked: This is usually the reason they give for dating women of other races or ethnicities.
     
  18. Mr. Snakey

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    In my eyes there is no downside being married to a black woman. I'm a very lucky man indeed.
     
  19. Principessa

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    :puke: OMG! Dude you know I'm single & diabetic! :redface: You can't be saying overly sweet stuff like that around me. :tongue:
     
  20. Northland

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    1)His eyes told me he needed me more than you do.

    2)I had to find out if I really loved you.

    3)Felt like it.

    4)They offered me a better job.

    5)Would it have been cheating if you hadn't found out?
     
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